How crazy is this guy? Or, wow, I didn’t know copper prices were that high! As reported by The Salisbury Post (North Carolina):
A thief pulled a fast one on the Department of Corrections Sunday night after police said someone broke into a minimum-security prison, stole copper and escaped.
Ouch. That’s embarrassing.
Let’s just say this lady does not take criticism well, especially when she’s behind the wheel. What did she do when her husband took exception to her driving? As reported by The Argus Leader (South Dakota):
A Sioux Falls woman tried to run down her husband with a Chrysler New Yorker Thursday night for questioning her driving skills, police say.
Shazam! You might be wondering about the logistics of running someone down for “backseat” driving. The Juice will explain.
Certainly domestic life often presents challenging situations. But this? As reported by BeeNews.com (New York):
Police responded to a North Seine Drive residence where a male and female were having an argument about how the pizza had been sliced.
Really?
What the hell was this guy thinking? He had just been released from jail. From the Okaloosa County Sheriff’s office:
A Crestview man released from the Okaloosa County Jail on a domestic violence battery charge Wednesday didn’t even make it out of the parking lot before committing crimes which put him right back in a cell.
38-year old Gabriel Allen Kirkpatrick of Grady Lane in Crestview is charged with four counts of burglary.
Kirkpatrick had just been released March 14th when Okaloosa Sheriff’s deputies say he went into the jail parking lot and started trying to break into cars. In one case, he unscrewed the radio antenna from the exterior and was trying to use it to gain entry.
Kirkpatrick was placed into custody and taken back inside for processing.
Dude! Dude? Here’s the source.
So the police will investigate you if your husband merely claims you are using black magic? Apparently so, at least if you live in Kuwait. As reported by the Arab Times:
A Kuwaiti man has filed a complaint with the Adan Police Station accusing his ex-wife of doing black magic. He claims the magic harmed him and his two daughters, reports Al-Rai daily. According to the man the woman planted some magic charms in his home to promote hatred between him and his daughters. He also said because of the magic he and his daughters are suffering from dermal disease. The suspect will be summoned for interrogation.
Hmm. Perhaps your daughters don’t like you because you’re a yutz? And maybe your daughters have “dermal disease” because they are teenagers? Just sayin’ …
It would be misleading, though not totally false, to say this guy walked into a Florida Papa John’s and stole pizza. Here’s what happened, per wptv.com:
Polk County deputies say a man walked into Papa John’s Pizza restaurant, put on a pizza costume, and then walked out of the Lakeland restaurant Sunday evening.
You stole a pizza costume? The Juice is guessing you didn’t know they have video cameras in the store.
Detectives say a white man, perhaps 18 years old, entered the restaurant with six others, wearing a white button-up shirt, dark pants and a dark tie. He put the costume on and left the store wearing it.
The costume is described as approximately six feet tall, and looks like a giant slice of pizza with pepperoni, mushrooms, green peppers and black olives.
Video surveillance shows the images of the suspect and four persons of interest. They are described as three older white males with dark hair. One had a full beard. The fourth person of interest is described as a white female with dark hair.
Here’s the source, including a photo and a video (skip to around 2:35).
If you’re separated, but still living in the same house, don’t you expect awkward situations? Well, a Pennsylvania man claims, in his defense, that he was just trying to avoid those awkward moments (awkward for him, any way). As reported by the Beaver County Times:
Suzanne Cripe, no age given, of 111 Grays Lane, contacted police Feb. 20 and said she had found a “transmitter device” under her bed, according to a township police report. She told police she thought the device had been placed there by her husband, Wayne Comet Cripe, 66, also of 111 Grays Lane.
The Cripes “have been separated for some time,” and were still sharing a house, but they had separate bedrooms, the police report said.
So the dude gets busted for going 105 MPH, and drives slower after that. What’s the bad news? He didn’t slow down quite enough. As reported by The Oregonian:
It all began Wednesday morning when a trooper stopped a westbound car hitting 92 mph on Interstate 84, just west of The Dalles.
During a routine check, the trooper discovered the driver – identified as Jose Romero-Valenzuela, 34, of Las Vegas — had already been stopped twice in the past 60 minutes.
The trooper learned that the same car had been pulled over 30 miles to the east for hitting 98 mph. And, before that a Gilliam County Sheriff’s Deputy pulled the driver for hitting 105 mph.
Just to review – 105, then 98, then 92. So over the course of an hour, he was clearly changing his ways. And in case you need further proof:
After letting the driver go, another trooper [number 4] west of Hood River was waiting with a radar gun, Hastings said. The car, he said, was driving within the 65 mph speed limit.
Reformed! Where was Mr. Romero-Valenzuela going in such a hurry?
[he] … told the trooper he was on his way to Oregon City. He had to appear in the Clackamas County Circuit Court for a preliminary hearing on a drug-related charge.
“Your Honor, I would have been on time, but …” Here’s the source.
Like you didn’t know it was the infamous Sheriff Joe Arpaio of Maricopa County, Arizona. His enlightened “pink underwear” policy is at the heart of a federal lawsuit. As reported by myfoxphoenix.com:
A federal court has reinstated a lawsuit against Maricopa County and Sheriff Joe Arpaio — over pink underwear. The Sheriff is well known for making inmates wear them.
A woman claims her brother’s death stemmed from a traumatic incident at the jail, when he was allegedly held down, stripped and forced into the pink underwear.
Lots of folks have lots of reasons for remaining silent when questioned by the police. But this is a new one, at least for The Juice. First, the charges, as reported by Hunterdon County Democrat (New Jersey):
… eluding police and resisting arrest, which are criminal charges. He also faces a dozen motor vehicle charges: careless driving, reckless driving, disregard of a traffic signal, making unsafe lane changes, going the wrong way on a one-way street, obstructing the passage of another vehicle, failure to comply with police orders, failure to use proper procedure when passing a stopped emergency vehicle, failure to signal a turn, failure to yield to an emergency vehicle, speeding across a sidewalk, and crossing a highway divider.
Yikes. So what happened?
Patrolman Robert Godown was cruising North Main Street near the Flemington Arms apartments on Feb. 28 at about 11 p.m., when Mohsen Shehata, 31, of Flemington allegedly sped by going south.
“Light ’em up,” he said to his partner. [Not really, but he should have, right?]
With lights flashing and siren wailing, Godown followed Shehata’s black Pontiac down Main Street, but when Shehata reached the Main Street roundabout, he turned left, against the flow of the circle, and continued a short way east in the wrong lane of Route 12 before hitting the curb and shrubs at Prestige Wealth Management and coming to a stop.
About the “why” …
When police asked him why he was driving so fast and was so unwilling to yield to authority, he replied that he was “angry” for personal reasons that he could not enumerate for religious reasons, police said.
Religious reasons? He’ll have to better than that for the judge. And it looks like he’ll have some time to think it over.
He was lodged in the county jail with bail set at $5,000 full.
Click here for the source.
Legal Juice