Articles Posted in Odd Cases

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The Juice has had his share of strange days, but nothing even close – fortunately – to this Utah man’s very strange day. As reported by The Deseret News (Utah):

Cottonwood Heights Police responded around 6:30 a.m. Saturday to reports of a man with a gun at a hotel, which police later determined were unfounded.

During the investigation, 38-year-old Wesley Glenn Velasco began acting strangely and was asked to leave the hotel. Police found drug paraphernalia in Velasco’s room.

Saturday afternoon, Velasco was treated for drug use at the Salt Lake International Airport, and left with paramedics to be transported to the hospital. En route, Velasco assaulted two paramedics and jumped out the back of the ambulance near 2700 South and Bangerter Highway in West Valley City.

Not cool.

Just after 1 p.m. West Valley Police officers made contact with Velasco near the Stonebridge Golf Course, who was nervous and acting strange. According to West Valley Police, Velasco told officers he had used drugs earlier, and after he tried to fight them, an officer deployed a stun gun to no effect. Velasco then ran to the police cruiser, which he used to flee the scene.

It’s never a good sign when the stun gun has no effect.

Police chased Velasco to 4100 South and Redwood Road, where they called off the chase due to his reckless driving and alerted nearby agencies.

Good call.

Using tracking technology, a Cottonwood Heights police officer saw the vehicle behind a strip mall on 3100 East and Big Cottonwood Canyon Road around 2:10 p.m. and Velasco fleeing on foot.

From there, the officer pursued him on foot around a retention pond, over a wall, and to a UDOT parking lot at the mouth of Big Cottonwood Canyon, where he surrendered to Cottonwood Heights Police.

After all that, you just surrendered? Well, sort of.

Cottonwood Heights Police Department Sgt. Mark Askerlund said that Velasco complained of some pain after his arrest, but they were unable to determine the cause.

While being transported in a patrol vehicle to the Salt Lake County Jail, Velasco again attempted to escape, this time by trying to kick through the vehicle’s back window.

What a day.

Police said drugs were involved in the man’s behavior. He was booked for investigation of aggravated robbery, fleeing, assault on a health care provider, assault on a police officer, damage to a jail and criminal mischief.

Here’s the source.

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He’s The King! Stop hassling him! As reported by The Rome News-Tribune (Rome, Georgia):

Rome Police were called to the [McDonald’s] restaurant at 2215 Shorter Ave. at approximately 1 p.m. by a manager in reference to a suspicious person.

When they arrived, the manager said that a man dressed as the mascot for Burger King entered the restaurant with bags of hamburgers and began handing them out to several customers.

But The King wasn’t quite done.

He danced while inside the restaurant and stopped to take pictures with children. The report states that one child took a picture with him and ran away as he appeared to be scared.

When the manager approached the man he said he was collecting for children’s charities. She noted that he had not collected any money during his time inside the restaurant.

Peasant! Don’t bother The King with petty details.

The subject then got into a white Acura. The manager saw him take off his mask and he appeared to be a middle age white male with dark hair.

Here’s the source.

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Yes, a real fight, with weapons, began with some grass clippings. As reported by The Review (East Liverpool, Ohio):

Two men were charged with felonious assault Sunday after they got into an argument over grass clippings that evolved into a fight with a machete and a club.

Whoa there, fellas.

City police charged Raymond C. Link, 63, Anderson Boulevard, and Collin Neal, 82, South Park Circle after officers were called to Anderson Boulevard Sunday afternoon for a report of a machete attack.

There, they were advised by Link that he had had trouble with his neighbor, Neal, over grass clippings blowing into Link’s property.

So your neighbor is responsible for the wind?

Link said when he confronted Neal, he was assaulted with a wooden club, with Neal hitting him in the head.

Doink!

Link then armed himself with a machete and injured Neal’s left hand, according to reports.

Neal then got his AK-47 … (kidding)

Neal told officers he was trying to remove the clippings when Link struck him with the machete, so he went and got the club, but he denied striking his neighbor.

Think this is over? Unlikely. Here’s the source.

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Sure, the “is that a … in your pants” is not a not totally uncommon theme. Still, a loris? As reported by the BBC:

Two of the men were found with slender lorises concealed in pouches in their briefs, a customs official at Indira Gandhi International Airport told the BBC.

Yes, they had lorises in their underwear! How were these clever gents caught?

The animals were uncovered when security guards noticed a bulge in their underwear during a frisk.

You can read more (a fair amount) here.

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You call 911 when you are in trouble, not when you’re going to cause trouble. Who doesn’t know that? Well, there is this one guy … As reported by Lancasteronline.com:

At 11:45 a.m., [52-year-old Dennis] Auker called 911 and said he was going to beat up his neighbor and put him in the hospital, [Ephrata police Lt. Tom] Shumaker said. (The two neighbors had a verbal dispute earlier Thursday morning, Shumaker said. He did not know what it was about, but said they have had ongoing issues with each other.)

Auker told the dispatcher he would call 911 back when he was finished with the assault.

That call? Not such a good idea.

Police responded to the 100 block of East Walnut Street to ensure the neighbor’s safety when he returned home.

When he did, police arrested Auker. He was charged before District Judge Tony Russell and was committed to Lancaster County Prison after failing to post $5,000 bail.

Here’s the source.

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Yes, you can end up in jail for slapping a horse. As reported by wmbfnews.com (Wilmington, North Carolina):

Authorities in Wilmington say they were trying to break up a crowd after an assault Sunday outside of a night club when Seth Andrew Bishop apparently decided that slapping the horse of a mounted police officer was good idea.

Slapping any horse? Not cool. Slapping a police horse? Brilliant!

He’s being charged with injury to law enforcement or assistance animal.

He posted bond, which was set at 500 dollars and is out of jail.

Anyone else think the community service will involve working in a barn with a shovel? Here’s the source.

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This was not a well-planned crime. As reported by wate.com (Knoxville, Tennessee):

Police say the victim was stopped at a red light on Davida Lane at Merchants drive around 1:30 a.m. when the suspects walked to his car and asked for a cigarette.

So far, according to plan.

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This robber’s weapon of choice – pruning clippers. It shouldn’t come as a big surprise that the endeavor didn’t go so well. As reported by The Bellingham Herald (Washington):

Police released photos of the robbery Thursday, Aug. 30. They show the masked man walking into Starvin’ Sam’s, 1101 Iowa St.

He brandished a pair of pruning clippers with 3-inch blades, said David Kassner, the clerk working the graveyard shift at 2:50 a.m. Aug. 20. The suspect, who wore a black ski mask with eyeholes, strode toward the cash register and demanded money.

He probably didn’t know the clerk was a Vietnam vet.

“But I wouldn’t do that,” said Kassner, a retired U.S. Army staff sergeant who served in southeast Asia.

Instead the clerk backed up and grabbed a hammer-style stapler that happened to be sitting on a countertop. Employees at the service station use the stapler to tack up posters.

Oh it’s on now.

The suspect grabbed the register and tried to take the whole thing with him. Kassner swung the stapler at the man’s head. He missed his target but must have made contact, because the man “ran out real quick” clutching his wrist, Kassner said, and without any cash.

See ya.

The man was last seen running northbound on Moore Street, said Bellingham police spokesman Mark Young.

Police dogs tried to track him, but the trail quickly “evaporated” – meaning he may have hopped into a car or rode away on a bike, Young said.

Here’s the source, with a surveillance photo of the perp.

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Defendant Howard Freeman sent two letters to the Judge. On both of them the letterhead reads:

The Committee to Save the Judges From Hanging Even Though They Deserve It.

At the bottom of the stationery the following appears:

The Bible and history tell us that an oppressed people have never once regained their freedom until they had hung the `judges’ and stoned the tax collectors to death; it is the fervent wish of the Committee that we can reason with the `judges’ to quit interfering with our common law protections. Then we will have only the tax collectors to deal with. Redloh 2:25.

Shabang! And just what was Mr. Freeman convicted of – a conviction that he appealed to the Supreme Court of Wyoming? Driving the wrong way on a one-way street! Mr. Freeman claimed that the citation was defective, and that the law under which he was charged is unconstitutional.

Loser, on each claim! The Wyoming Supremes were not amused, nor were they put off by the threatening letters. Of the letters, the Court stated:

While these warnings are dire, it well may be that cases such as the one before us constitute a far more severe punishment. Our rules of appellate practice were designed, at least in part, to protect judges from such consequences.

And that was the final word in Freeman v. Town of Lusk, 717 P.2d 331 (WY 1986).

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It’s just a bad idea to leave your car unlocked, period. It’s an even worse idea to leave your car unlocked with dangerous items in it. As reported by TCPalm.com:

A 48-year-old man told Port St. Lucie police Tuesday he discovered his throwing knife, sheath, .40 caliber pistol and magazines missing from his 2003 Toyota Corolla, according to a police report released Wednesday.

He said he left his vehicle Monday in the driveway of his home in the 2700 block of Southwest District Avenue. The vehicle, he told police, was not locked.

Unlocked!

As he walked up to his house after noticing the items missing, he saw a plastic bag with writing. The writing stated, “LOADED GUN Unlocked Car = STUPID!!” The bag’s other side read, “LOTS OF Children in area.”

The man saw his handgun and knife were inside, though 30 cartridges were missing.

Master Sgt. Frank Sabol, police spokesman, said Wednesday the person responsible could face charges including armed burglary and theft.

Good luck getting a conviction on that one. Here’s the source, which includes photos of the bag and its messages.