In the latest addition to things you can do “while intoxicated,” comes this story, as reported by The Bee News (out of Western New York):
Patrol responded to the Clarence Inn Motel for a report of an intoxicated male who was sitting in the road in a recliner. The subject and his chair were removed from the roadway.
Could this be the new “planking”? Nooooooo!
The world is so vast and full of excitement and wonder. Why would you not want to explore it? Well, in a word, xBox. As reported by The Review (East Liverpool, Ohio):
A deputy was called to a home on Wayne Bridge Road, Lisbon, at 9:10 a.m. Sunday, because a 17-year-old boy became unruly after his aunt and uncle took away his xBox system. The boy was told he needed to mind his aunt and uncle, and he agreed there would be no further problem.
Hey kid, take a hike.
Couples fight. Couples make up. In between, sometimes things are done or said. But this? Gents, if you insist on continuing to read this, be forewarned, it will hurt. As reported by The Jersey Journal (at nj.com):
A Jersey City man who went to sleep after an argument with his girlfriend was awakened late Thursday night when she bit his scrotum, tearing right through the skin, authorities said.
Yeowwwwwww!!!!!
Linda Mendez, 40, was charged early this morning with aggravated assault and domestic violence, over the objection of her boyfriend, who told police he did not want to press charges. The mother of three appeared in court yesterday and her bail was set at $35,000 with a 10 percent cash option.
The 46-year-old victim told police that the two argued at 11:30 Thursday, and to avoid the argument he went to sleep, reports said. Minutes later Mendez woke him by biting his neck and his scrotum, causing bleeding, police said.
Maybe he doesn’t want to press charges because he’s terrified what she’ll bite next? Here’s the source, with a photo of Ms. Mendez.
This woman either had a serious case of the munchies, is just filled with rage, or is an alien sent to earth specifically to gather chicken nuggets. As reported by WNWO in Toledo, Ohio:
Toledo Police say Melodi Dushane, 24, stopped at the fast-food restaurant at Front and Main Streets in East Toledo early Friday morning and asked for chicken nuggets. When the drive-thru attendant told her the restaurant was only serving breakfast and that the item was not available, Dushane reached through the window and punched the attendant in the mouth.
Talk about shooting the messenger … But that’s not all …
After a night manager came to the window, Dushane began swinging her fists at her. The manager attempted to pull Dushane through the window by her hair. After being released, Dushane then punched through the drive-thru’s glass window.
Damn!
Dushane was treated at Mercy St. Charles Hospital for her injuries and then incarcerated at the Lucas County Jail.
In court on Saturday, Dushane pleaded not guilty to a felony vandalism charge. She was released from police custody on her own recognizance and is scheduled to be in court next on Jan. 28.
Think she’ll be going back to that McDonald’s anytime soon? Nope.
A judge has ordered that Dushane not visit the 90 Main St. McDonald’s location again.
That leaves about 13,000 other McDonald’s (in the U.S. – really) that she is free to visit… Here’s the source, including a photo of Ms. Dushane.
Hey lady, get a life. If you were so offended by what you thought this guy was doing, why did you follow him? For the children? As reported by tcpalm.com:
A 34-year-old woman told Port St. Lucie police she saw a man in his vehicle in a plaza on Southwest Port St. Lucie Boulevard. He was “making an up and down motion in the area of his crotch,” a recently released police report states.
The woman didn’t see his genitals but believed the man was masturbating. He started to circle the parking lot, and she began following him and called police.
It’s nice to see a couple in love, right? Yes, and no. In this case, definitely “no.” As reported by wkmg (clickorlando.com):
Orlando police said Jeremie Calo, 32, and his date were “having sex on a table in view of minor children” on the patio of Paddy Murphy’s restaurant.
Yikes!
“That’s ridiculous that they would do that out in public and also in front of kids,” said Ashley Webster. Several witnesses told Local 6 that parents with children were eating on the patio as the couple started making out, then things went further.
The kids!
“That’s totally unacceptable and insane. I’m shocked. I can’t believe that,” said Jackie Kelvington as she watched her daughter at gymnastics across the street. “I would absolutely yank my kids, get them away from that situation and hope that they didn’t see too much.”
Run!
The manager at Paddy Murphy’s, Tom Murphy, said as soon as he realized what was going on he put a stop to it. He told the couple, “Compose yourself, pay your tab or I’ll call the police,” according to the report.
Said Mr. Calo:
“She can’t get up at this time” because his date was still on top of him.
Funny. Not smart or cool. But pretty funny.
Murphy called police, and the couple then stopped what they were doing.
When police arrived, they arrested Calo for fighting with the manager and refusing to pay the $101 bill.
Wait, not fornicating in public, or some such charge?
Neither Calo nor his date were arrested for any of the sex allegations because none of the parents who saw the sex acts wanted to write statements for police.
Here’s the source.
Hey, what’s the big deal? Clearly their yard wasn’t big enough for the bash, so these Texas twin brothers decided to “borrow” someone else’s property. Can you believe the property owners were not okay with this? As reported by khou.com:
[19-year-old twin brothers] Shawn and DaShawn Butler reportedly promoted the party online and invited people to an open field in Huffman on Saturday.
Deputies said they found the twins and a juvenile there on Friday. They also discovered the lock on the private property’s gate had been cut.
You’re the new boss. You want to let your employees know that you’re in charge. If you’re in Saudi Arabia, this is NOT the way to do it. As reported by Emirates 24/7:
The new manager at the mall in the western Red Sea port of Jeddah met the workers at his section and gave them job instructions.
“He then told them they must obey and implement his orders to the letter, saying that he is their god,” Kabar newspaper said.
Uh oh.
It said eight workers reported the new manager to the Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice.
“Commission members went to the mall and arrested the man, who will be referred to court for claiming he is a god…the eight workers will testify in court.”
So long, “boss.” Here’s the source.
Sadly, this story is not about a U.S. politician. This gent hails from Bosnia. As reported by Reuters:
“Seven days after my campaign began, the whole planet is talking about me,” Mirad Hadziahmetovic told Reuters. “I think I have had a super campaign and proved to be the best market expert in Bosnia.”
The self-proclaimed “innovator” had been running as an independent candidate for mayor of Zenica, the fourth-largest city in Bosnia with a predominantly Muslim population, in the October 7 ballot.
The innovative marketing?
The election commission removed him from the race last week over pornographic material accessible on his campaign web page.
Porn!
After each question visitors to his web page posed about local election issues, they were allowed to proceed to links with pornographic content, which had to be removed after the commission’s decision.
Hadziahmetovic appealed against what he said was a “shameful decision” to Bosnia’s state court this week and voiced confidence that it would be overturned.
Add “eternal optimist” to “market expert” and “innovator.”
Unless he is re-instated as a candidate, he will file a suit to the Strasbourg-based European Court of Human Rights, he said.
In an open letter asking for support from Western ambassadors in Bosnia, Hadziahmetovic said he only wanted to turn Zenica into a Hollywood instead of a Tehran.
“I know boys and girls in my country want to make love freely, have fun and enjoy life. They all dream of Hollywood, not Tehran,” he wrote, refering to Zenica’s current mayor, who comes from a Bosnian Muslim party with post-war links to Iran.
You’ll find the source here.
No way you love your cat as much as this woman. Or maybe you just love your husband more than she does. As reported by www.khou.com (Houston, Texas):
Deputies said [Audrey Deen] Miller [42] and her husband were arguing at their home in the 6700 block of Seaton Valley Drive around 7:30 a.m. when he threatened to shoot her cat with a pellet gun.
Big, big mistake.
Miller, an animal lover with several cats and dogs, pulled out a .40-caliber semiautomatic handgun and shot her husband in the stomach.
Hmm. She brought a real gun to a pellet gun fight. Guess who won?
“The husband was trying to do something to the cat and the wife was just trying to protect her cat,” said Assistant Chief Mark Herman, Precinct 4.
“Just trying to protect her cat”? By possibly killing her husband?
Miller was arrested at the scene [and charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon] and her husband was transported to Ben Taub Hospital in stable condition. He returned home from the hospital later Tuesday afternoon, clad in a hospital gown and without keys to get inside.
In case you’re wondering about the cat (in addition to what life in that house is going to be like!):
The cat was not harmed.
Here’s the source, including Ms. Miller’s mug shot.
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