If you’re hungry and thirsty, heading to a food market is definitely the right move. This gent did just that. But when he got there, ay ay ay. As reported by madison.com:
The Madison Police Department stated in a news release that officers were called to the store shortly before 11 p.m. Friday for a disturbance involving a man without a shirt.
A shirtless man in December, in Wisconsin?
Yes, shoplifters will be prosecuted. And so will folks who treat merchandise like this … As reported by The Brooklyn Paper:
A 32-year-old urinated all over costly clothing inside a Downtown department store on Dec. 11, investigators claim.
Dude!
Police cuffed a suspect accused of ruining more than $1,500 of garb inside the Fulton Mall shop between Gallatin Place and Hoyt Street at around 9:48 pm.
The suspect — who faces charges of criminal mischief, disorderly conduct, exposure, and “throwing or dropping offensive matters into streets and public places” — admitted to relieving himself on the clothing, according to documents from the District Attorney’s office.
Here’s the source.
Yes folks, you read that correctly. As reported by detroit.cbslocal.com:
Jason Festerman was called to school after his son was suspended for spraying prank item Liquid Ass in his classroom. Ads claim Liquid Ass is a “power–packed, super–concentrated liquid (that) begins to evaporate filling the air with a genuine, foul butt–crack smell with hints of dead animal and fresh poo.”
Festerman claims he was innocently checking the item in the school, when it discharged — and the police were called.
Uh huh.
Festerman was charged with disorderly conduct, which carries a possibly penalty of $200 and/or 90 days in jail. Marine City Schools officials claim he attacked teachers and administrators with the foul smell.
They believe he was acting out over his son’s one-day suspension. In a TV interview, Festerman said his whole family enjoys carrying out “Liquid Ass ” pranks wherever they go, though he said they punished their son for bringing their property to his class and disturbing the room.
What about Festerman’s assertion that he just accidentally sprayed the, um, scent while testing to see if there was any left?
“Our security cameras seem to indicate otherwise,” Wolford said.
Bam! Here’s the source.
Can you really steal someone’s driveway? Yup, one paver at a time, as reported by Ocala.com.
The victim told Deputy Michelle Wright that she left her home in the 4500 block of Northwest 120th Street around 7:30 a.m. When she arrived home at 6 p.m. and drove onto the driveway, she felt a large “bump.”
Uh oh.
She said she got out of her vehicle and noticed that the concrete pavers used to make the driveway were missing.
They stole my driveway! In broad daylight! Surely someone saw this?
A witness told the deputy about seeing two men digging up the pavers, but said the activity didn’t seem suspicious because the victim had workers constructing a barn on the property.
Fair enough.
The men are described as a tall, heavyset black male in his 30s and a white male of small build who stood roughly 5-feet 3-inches tall. They were driving an older model black pickup hauling a flat-bed utility trailer.
And it’s probably parked on a sweet driveway, newly constructed with concrete pavers … Here’s the source.
Nobody has to go to the bathroom this badly. To what length did this man go to try to get his wife to leave the bathroom? You won’t believe this one. Per The Northwest Florida Daily News.
According to the Fort Walton Beach arrest report, the couple was arguing inside of the bathroom of their residence on Windsor Lane on Dec. 8 when the husband [age 38] asked the woman to leave the room so he could urinate. He threatened to urinate on his wife if she did not leave.
Yeah, like you would ever …
She refused and the husband turned toward the wife and urinated on her, according to the report.
Ewwwwww. Yes, that’s why this is posted in The Juice’s “Gross” category.
The wife shoved the husband and told him to stop several times then began to hit the man on the shoulder causing him to stop.
Please, tell me this is a crime.
The man was charged with a misdemeanor domestic violence battery and his court date is Dec. 26.
Yes! Think he’ll agree to a plea, or choose to appear in court? Here’s the source.
The Juice is not supporting burglary. But if you’re going to destroy property to steal property, shouldn’t you at least steal stuff that is worth more than the cost of the damage you did to break in? This gent abides by no such rule.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WEyIbo1iCCQ
You’ll find the source, the Jacksonville Sheriff’s Office, here.
Hitching a ride? Not a big deal, unless … you hitch a ride on a manatee. As reported by The Tampa Bay Times:
Ana Gloria Garcia Gutierrez, 53, was arrested on a misdemeanor warrant while working at Sears at Tyrone Square Mall, according to the Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office.
Gutierrez had turned herself in to authorities in October after sheriff’s officials distributed photographs to local media showing her straddling a manatee at the beach.
The photos were taken by another beach visitor who saw Gutierrez riding the manatee Sept. 30 in the water north of Gulf Pier, authorities said. Onlookers called the Sheriff’s Office, but deputies who responded found neither Gutierrez — who was unidentified at the time — nor the animal.
So here’s what led to her surrender.
The Sheriff’s Office shared the photographs a few days later and held a news conference Oct. 2 at which Sheriff Bob Gualtieri referred to manatees as “a huge part of our culture here in Florida” and decried the alleged abuse of the animals.
“Go ride a Jet Ski,” the sheriff said. “Don’t use animals.”
Shortly thereafter, Gutierrez phoned the agency and admitted touching the manatee, authorities said. She later told sheriff’s deputies she didn’t know that doing so was illegal.
The case was referred to the Pinellas-Pasco State Attorney’s Office, which issued the misdemeanor arrest warrant.
Gutierrez was released Saturday from the Pinellas County Jail on $1,500 bail. She did not return a reporter’s request for comment. A man who answered the door at her St. Petersburg home late Saturday denied that she lived there.
What’s she looking at?
Under the Florida Manatee Sanctuary Act, sea cow molestation is a second-degree misdemeanor, an offense punishable by a $500 fine or up to 60 days in jail.
The Juice would be fine with community service, with a marine wildlife education component. You’ll find the source here, including a mug shot.
The weapon of choice? An umbrella. The location of the attempted robbery – a Burger King drive-thru! As reported by The Journal Gazette (Fort Wayne, Indiana):
According to Allen Superior Court documents, [Amanda M.] Ringler [27] pointed an umbrella at an employee through the drive-thru window and demanded money. The employee hit the restaurant’s panic alarm, and Ringler drove off empty-handed, though witnesses notified police of her car’s description.
All that careful planning down the drain!
Surely this lady would not do this again, probably because she got caught. She actually went on the sidewalk in her attempt to avoid a stopped school bus! Let’s go to the videotape! (It’s an old expression, clearly.)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E6QdHpNZnbI
Passing out in public is generally not a good thing. There are exceptions. As reported by The MetroWest Daily News (Framingham, Massachusetts):
On Friday, two women told police that they were about to go into the ATM at the Roche Bros., but [Eric Lee] Siggins was sitting on a bench outside, acting strangely. One of the women saw a handgun in the waistband of his pants and instead of using the ATM they called police, [prosecutor Maggie] Pastuszak said.
A wise decision.
When police arrived, they found Siggins sitting down with legs fully spread and his head down between his legs. He was wearing a hooded sweatshirt with a scarf covering his face, and he never responded to anything they said to them, she said.
“He refused to take his hands from the pockets,” said Pastuszak. “His hands had to be physically removed.”
As police tried to get Siggins to remove his hands, a gun fell from his pants. The weapon was a BB gun made to look like a real gun, the prosecutor said.
Doh!
In his pocket they found handcuffs, the [duct] tape, a razor-bladed knife and the string, Pastuszak said.
Hmm.
Police charged Siggins, of 145 South Main St., with attempting to commit armed robbery, resisting arrest and disorderly conduct. Pastuszak told Judge Robert Greco that she expects a carrying a dangerous weapon charge to be added.
See how lucky he was to have passed out? Think of the soup he’d be in had he gone through with it.
[The prosecutor] asked the judge to hold Siggins on $1,000 bail, but Siggins lawyer, Mark Wester, argued that no crime was committed.
Said the judge:
“I don’t see probable cause here for attempting to commit armed robbery,” said Wester. “There was no struggling. He was passed out. It may be bizarre behavior, but it doesn’t rise to the level of these charges.”
Greco ordered Siggins held on $500 bail. He is due back in court on Nov. 19 for a pretrial conference.
Legal Juice