Articles Posted in Just Weird

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Everyone in Valentine, Nebraska can now breathe a huge sigh of relief because the Butt Bandit has been arrested. It’s not clear why they call him the Butt Bandit since neither his butt, nor any other part of him, ever stole anything. To the contrary, he actually leaves something behind [bad pun, I know], his butt (and/or groin) prints in vaseline or lotion. As reported in The North Platte Bulletin:

The rash of bizarre behavior began in May 2007. Valentine police already had fielded about 20 different reports by this time a year ago.

Rewards offered through Crime Stoppers failed to provide any leads. No physical structure has been damaged, although producing the printings probably involved indecent exposure, officials believe.

The charges? They haven’t been filed yet – perhaps because they’re tring to come up with the crime? Criminal vaselining? First-degree buttprinting? Here’s the source.

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For a skull bong, at least in part. True, gruesome, and bizarre. Here’s the story, as reported from Texas by The Tribune:

A Kingwood teenager that took part in a grave desecration earlier this year, was sentenced Aug. 25 to 240 days in county jail for abuse of a corpse. Kevin Jones, 17, pleaded guilty to the misdemeanor charge, according to court documents.

Jones, along with companion Matthew Gonzalez, 17, also from Kingwood, were under investigation for area burglaries of motor vehicles and credit card fraud, when Jones volunteered information that led law enforcement to the Old Negro Cemetery in Humble. During questioning, the teen admitted that he, along with Gonzalez and an unnamed juvenile, dug up the 87-year-old grave of Willie Simms, an 11-year-old boy, and used his skull as a bong – a device used to smoke marijuana.

The bizarre incident, which brought nationwide attention to the Kingwood/Humble areas, prompted Grace Church of Humble to restore the desecrated gravesite.

Jones pleaded guilty to credit card fraud Aug. 13 and was sentenced to six months in state prison.

Creepy. Very creepy. Here’s the source.

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So it was for Mark Pannell of Buffalo, New York. Here’s how his day went, as reported by The Buffalo News:

… at about 8:45 a.m. Saturday … deputies stopped Pannell’s car on Grand Island Boulevard near Staley Road for what is being described as minor traffic violations.

Okay. A routine stop, then …

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Okay, so I’m overstating it a little bit. Sanchez Brumfield was charged with killing a man in Louisiana. He’s being tried for first-degree murder. While in a holding cell in the courthouse basement, he was seen masturbating by the deputies who were monitoring him by camera. How is this relevant in the murder case? It’s not, but the prosecutor argued that, if Brumfield is convicted, the jury should consider it in deciding whether to give him life in jail, or the death penalty. What what what? What possible relevance could masturbating have in the life or death decision? Here’s what prosecutor Aaron Brooks said, per The Advocate and WBRZ News 2:

“He will make a lousy prisoner if he’s given a life-sentence,” Brooks said. “And this stunt proves that.”

Huh? What do you do with that kind of reasoning? Just what the judge did – he rejected it. Here’s the source.

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picnic%20table%20round%20metal.jpgThis one is just really strange. Per wtol.com:

Bellevue Police Captain Matt Johnson says Art Price, Jr., 40, was seen on four occasions between the hours of 10:30 a.m. and noon having sex with his picnic table.

Holy shiznit! So what charge is Mr. Price looking at? A felony!

What makes this a felony, Johnson says, is that it took place in close proximity to a school, which made it likely that children could have seen Price.

And if all that isn’t bad enough, a neighbor videotaped the latest incident. Said Police Captain Johnson,

Once you think you’ve seen it all, something else comes around.

Here’s the source.

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And that headline is not hyberbole. As reported by the AP:

Law officers in western Kansas are investigating the bizarre case of a woman they say sat on her boyfriend’s toilet for two years.

TWO YEARS! What would you think happens to your body under those circumstances?

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pervert%20drawing%20sick%20sex%20stickman.gif I’m having a hard time thinking of anything that compares to what brothers Nicholas and Alexander Grunke were planning on doing. They saw a young lady’s picture with her obituary (I think you have an idea where this is going), and thought she was attractive. So, naturally, they decided to dig her up and have sex with her corpse. Fortunately, things did not go as planned. As reported at investigation.discovery.com,

On the night of Sept. 2, 2006, a concerned citizen called the Grant County Sheriff’s Department and reported a suspicious vehicle that was parked by the St. Charles Cemetery. When Officer Brent McDonald arrived on the scene, he observed Alexander Grunke walking towards the vehicle. According to the criminal complaint, Grunke was sweating profusely and appeared to be nervous.

Oh, and somehow, the brother managed to convince a friend, Dustin Radke, to help them.

“Complainant is informed by Sgt. Kopp’s report that Radke informed him that he had brought Nicholas Grunke to the Cassville Cemetery the first part of the week, that Nick wanted to come down and locate L.T.’s grave, that Nick asked him to help him dig up L.T.’s body so that he could have sexual intercourse with her, that Nick wanted to take her back to a pre-selected location behind his house, that he did assist in digging up L.T.’s gravesite, and that they had stopped at Wal-Mart in Dodgeville on the way down and bought condoms because Nick wanted to use them when he had sex with a corpse,” reads the Sept. 5, 2006 criminal complaint filed by Chief Deputy Jack Johnson.

The charges? Attempted theft and attempted sexual assault. The defense? No sexual assault because the victim was already dead. Did the Judge agree? He did, and his decision was upheld on appeal, but the state appealed that decision to the Wisconsin Supreme Court. Guess how many states have a law that specifically bans necrophilia? Just 16 (and Wisconsin isn’t one of them). You can read more (a fair amount) here.

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If your dog is looking over your shoulder, be warned that this story may really disturb her. Hell, it really disturbs me. As reported by Kansas station KAKE:

Police make an unusual arrest Tuesday evening. A woman in the 3700 block of E. Clark heard someone break into her garage. When she went to check on the noise, she says she found a man sexually assaulting her four year old female rottweiler.

Police arrested Josh Coman, 20, for aggravated burglary of a home and criminal sodomy. Coman pleaded guilty last year to a similar crime involving a dog in Reno County. Police say the state’s new Magnum’s Law, designed to protect animals from abuse, does not cover sexual assaults. However, state law prohibits sexual contact between humans and animals.

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bad%20Luck%20unlucky%20superstitious.jpg That would be Steven Saleh’s Washington, DC apartment. Via Craigslist, Mr. Conklin came down from New York to crash there. Two days later, he was lying dead on Mr. Saleh’s living room floor. The cause? Acute intoxication – a mixture of alcohol and oxy.

Several days later, per The Washington Post, Dean Johnson arrived from New York to comfort Mr. Saleh. The next day, Johnson died in Saleh’s apartment of … acute intoxication. Per the Post:

As for Johnson, the office said, the tests showed that his fatal intoxication was caused by a combination of oxycodone and four other prescription drugs: clonazepam, an anti-anxiety medication with the brand name Klonopin; amitriptyline, an antidepressant sold as Elavil; ramelteon, a sleep aid marketed as Rozerem; and tramadol, a painkiller sold as Ultram.

What have the authorities concluded? No evidence of wrongdoing by Saleh. And his life’s not going so well, either. He suffers from a disabling illness that causes chronic pain and fatigue. You can read more here.

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death_by_cyberbully.gifMegan, a 13-year-old St. Louis girl, was being harassed online. Turns out the 16-year-old harasser, “Josh Evans,” who initiated things by contacting Megan on MySpace, was the creation of the parents of Megan’s former best friend. Over the course of 6 weeks, “Josh” said some nasty things, including that Megan was “fat” and a “slut.” The last posting was too much for Megan, who suffered from depression. It said: The world would be a better place without you. Soon thereafter, Megan hung herself.

So is it a crime, what these wicked folks did to a young girl? Apparently not. Investigators are still looking for a crime a year later. Seems that the federal law enacted to prevent cyberharassing punishes direct messages, not postings. And in case you weren’t outraged enough, The Chicago Tribune reported “another neighbor as saying the parents encouraged their daughter ‘to join in the joke’ of the Josh Evans ruse. These 2 were meant for each others. On the bright side, though the paper hasn’t identified them, everyone in town knows who they are. So they will pay some price, even if not at the hands of the law.