Have you EVER heard of anyone getting a ticket for littering? They should, but it just never seems to happen, much to The Juice’s chagrin. Well, a litterbug in New York got busted, sort of. As reported by brooklynpaper.com:
The litterbug told police that he tossed some trash in the parking lot of a fast-food chain between Kingsland and Morgan avenues at 12:50 pm. A moment later, two men came up to him and showed him shields.
Officer, arrest that man! He just admitted to littering! No?
Ah the joy of setting off a bottle rocket – unless it’s in … your pants! As reported by The Highline Times (Washington):
Police responded to a call for medical assistance in the 12000 block of Ambaum Blvd. A man accidentally set off a bottle rocket firework in his pants. He was transported to Harborview by ambulance to be treated for superficial burns on his groin, face and hand. No other injuries were reported.
Oops.
If you’re neighbor asks you to turn down your window-shaking music and you don’t, you’re just a jerk. If a cop asks you and you don’t? You’re just not real smart. As reported by The Review (East Liverpool, Ohio):
Sgt. Steve Boyd was called to 28290 Buffalo Road, Kensington, at 10:13 p.m. Saturday for a report of music so loud it was shaking nearby windows. Boyd stopped on the roadway and the music shook the windows of his patrol car. Steven J. Paul, 47, and Dawn Marie Johnson, 43, were arrested for persistent disorderly conduct after Boyd warned them to turn the music down and they did not.
Hey, maybe they couldn’t hear the officer! Huh? What?
Regular Juice readers may remember this post about a law in Terrebonne Parish, Louisiana that prohibited the sale of silly string within three hundred (300) feet of any parade route within the parish on any day a parade is scheduled.
So, no selling of silly string, only on parade days, and only within 300 feet of the parade route. Well sir, that kind of leniency toward the devil that is silly string will not be tolerated in the town of Hopkinton, Massachusetts! For in that town, you may not sell or use silly string EVER. To wit:
ARTICLE I
How drunk was he? Pretty darned drunk. Per The New Hampshire Union Leader:
Authorities received a call from a Kingston Court homeowner who reported that a man she did not know had walked into her bedroom.
Uh-oh.
A Minnesota man was thinking no such thought as he got ready to … spit! And he paid the price. As reported by www.kare11.com (Minneapolis):
“I was walking to get some pizza with some buddies,” Thomas said.
The 21-year-old said he was getting over an illness and he spit as he was walking. He quickly learned that’s illegal in Minneapolis.
You know how when you watch TV shows about jail or prison, the joints are filled with contraband? Well, it’s true. Some prisons have such a problem with prisoners using cell phones that they have to jam them! As for drugs in the joint, here’s an example, as reported by North Country Now (Potsdam, NY).
St. Lawrence County Sheriff deputies say they charged a St. Lawrence County Correctional Facility inmate with felonies for allegedly selling drugs while locked up.
Matthew J. Hough is charged with fourth-degree criminal sale of a controlled substance and first-degree promoting prison contraband, both felonies.
Fans of the Maryland Terrapins have a saying: Fear the Turtle. In this case, it has to be altered slightly: Fear the Turtle’s Owner. As reported by The Palm Beach Post:
On Tuesday morning, Palm Beach County Sheriff’s deputies were called to the 500 block of West Kalmia Drive, just east of Old Dixie Highway between Northlake Boulevard and Park Avenue in Lake Park.
[Marie] Seymour [age 53] and her boyfriend were drinking when he said he would harm her turtle and allegedly came after her, according to her recount of the events. The turtle’s name was not released.
For offenses involving socks, two British men were sentenced to 18 months in jail (for “conspiring to commit acts of gross indecency”), and put on the sex offenders’ registry for 10 years. Per The Southport Visiter:
Two men swindled hundreds of people in Southport out of their socks back in the 1990s.
How do you “swindle” folks out of socks?
“A woman who impaled herself on a picket fence when she fell while urinating from an unprotected veranda has sued her former fiance for substantial damages…” Yikes! Here’s the rest of the story.
Legal Juice