Articles Posted in Juice Drops

Squeezed on:

By

manure%20pit%20deep%20shit.jpg

There are many variations on the theme, including “You’re in a shitload of trouble,” or “You’re in some deep shit.” That last one is particularly appropriate in the case of 52-year-old Thomas Hovis Jr. As reported by WANE:

A wanted man in Albion literally created a big stink to avoid being captured by police. He was found hiding neck-deep in a pit of liquid manure.

Police were seeking to arrest Hovis for multiple felony drug charges out of Steuben County, including manufacturing and possession of methamphetamine. His previous offenses include multiple drug charges, aggravated battery, and even a murder conviction in Florida.

Quite a few strikes there.

“We had units that were observing the location,” explained Doug Harp, Chief Deputy for the Noble County Sheriff’s Department. “We decided based on the information that we had about his criminal background, the charges he was faced with, that we should use our tactical teams [and our clothes pins…].”

When officers arrived, they saw Hovis run into an outbuilding at the rear of the residence. Police attempted to coax Hovis out of the building, but he refused.

SWAT Team members eventually deployed tear gas to enter the building and locate Hovis hiding inside a manure pit.

And if you think he just gave up, nope.

Hovis was removed from the pit and continued to fight arrest. Officers had to tase him before taking him into custody.

A search of the home where Hovis was found also turned up three one pot meth labs, 18 marijuana plants and two grams of methamphetamine. Three guns were also seized, including an assault rifle.

Now that’s some serious …

Squeezed on:

By

Welcome%20to%20my%20home%20sign.jpg

Some fetishes I get, and some I don’t. I don’t get this one. As reported in The Courier Mail:

After a night out at a pub in Boggabri, in northern NSW [New South Wales, Australia], a group of people went to a private home on March 27.

So far, so good.

“Police will allege that a man went to the home’s bathroom and set up his mobile phone to record people going to the toilet,” police said in a statement.

”

Uh oh.

About 1am a 29-year-old woman went to the bathroom to use the toilet and discovered the phone.

”The woman viewed the recording, seized the phone and left the gathering.”

Dude probably forgot to turn the ringer off.


Police were alerted to the matter and yesterday arrested a 36-year-old man at the property.

 He has been charged with filming a person in private without consent and is due to face Narrabri Local Court on May 25.

Not cool.

Squeezed on:

By

squirrel.jpg

Adding insult to injury, the public is now aware of this gent’s very own Plaxico Burress moment. But for the reporting law, nobody would have been the wiser. As reported by The Corvallis Gazette-Times:

Ethan Bennett, 36, told Benton County sheriff’s deputies he was at his residence at 24750 Cox Lane in Monroe about 4:15 p.m. Wednesday when he tried to shoot the [squirrel] with a .22-caliber rifle.

The squirrel reportedly ran up his left leg, and he pulled the trigger, hitting himself in the foot.

Doh!

Deputies contacted Bennett at Good Samaritan Regional Medical Center, where he drove himself after the accident. Law enforcement agencies investigate all gunshot wounds admitted to the hospital.

Hospital personnel said Bennett was treated and released.

And if you’re worried about the squirrel …

Capt. Greg Ridler said Bennett did not kill the squirrel.

Whew. Not surprisingly, “Bennett declined to comment about the incident.” Here’s the source.

Squeezed on:

By

howdy%20neighbor%20hello%20hi%20good.gif
It’s just a fact: you’re not always going to get along with your neighbors. As they say, that’s what axes are for.?.?.? As reported by myfoxny.com:

New York State Police troopers arrested Erna Kostanoski, 66, of Bloomingburg on Sunday. They say one of her neighbors was attempting to remove wooden stakes that marked the property line.

So, naturally …

Continue reading →
Squeezed on:

By

door%20to%20door%20salesman.jpg

You won’t believe what this door-to-door salesman was selling. As reported by The Sun Sentinel:

A Coconut Creek man accused of posing as a doctor and offering free door-to-door breast exams has reached a deal with prosecutors, lawyers told a Broward judge on Tuesday.

Phillip Winikoff, 81, was accused in April 2006 of carrying on the ruse with women at an apartment complex in the 3200 block of Northwest 40 Street in Lauderdale Lakes. Investigators said two women took Winikoff up on the offer, allowed him into their apartments and realized something was amiss only after the exams started.

So what happened?

At the time of Winikoff’s arrest, the Broward Sheriff’s Office said he carried a little black bag to lend credibility to his claim of being a doctor. The first victim, 36 at the time, told detectives he started the exam by fondling her breasts, and she knew something was wrong when his hands wandered elsewhere.

Perhaps Mr. Winikoff should have called an escort service?

By the time the victim called 911, Winikoff had already found a second victim, the sheriff’s office said.

Preying on women’s fear of breast cancer, and then sexually assaulting them? Dude should do time, regardless of his age. It’s unsure whether that will happen, as the Judge delayed sentencing. You can read more here.

Squeezed on:

By

shirt%20question%20mark.jpg

Talk about dressing for the occasion. You will not believe what this drunk-driving dude’s shirt said. As reported by The New York Post:

A fashion-forward Long Island boozehound lost control of his car and rammed it into a marked Suffolk County cop car that was on DWI patrol — all while wearing a T-shirt with a message that couldn’t be more fitting for the occasion.

So what did the t-shirt say?

“I’m not an alcoholic, I’m a drunk. Alcoholics go to meetings.”

Doh!

The self-professed “drunk” — who has 13 prior arrests and seven convictions for various crimes — spun his 2000 Saturn out of control at about 1:45 a.m. yesterday as he attempted to turn east from County Road 83 to Route 25A in Mount Sinai.

As he came around the bend, he hit the side of a parked Suffolk cop car that was part of the department’s Selective Alcohol Fatality Enforcement Team, in which an officer had been observing traffic for possible drunk drivers.

Oops. You can read more (a fair amount) and see the mug shot here.

Squeezed on:

By

gun%20handgun.jpg

Surely she didn’t mean she literally had a gun there… But, after Ms. Patterson was arrested in Orlando, Florida, when the police asked her if she had any weapons or drugs on her person, here’s what she is reported to have said:

“I have a gun in my vagina, you fucking idiot!” [expletive reinserted]

As to how this came to pass, per wftv.com:

A woman called 911 Tuesday night from outside of a nightclub in an attempt to locate her keys. Kelly Patterson was told to leave Pulse nightclub (see map) and given a trespass warning by an employee.

Patterson, officers say, began to shout obscene comments and make gestures towards the employees. She was told a second time to leave the parking lot, but police said she replied by saying. “Fuck you, I need to get my keys from my friend.” [expletive reinserted]

Perhaps this wasn’t the best approach. Nevertheless, the police still tried to assist her.

An officer on scene told Patterson he would help her get her keys, but her friends told the officer they did not have her keys. Investigators said she was given four chances to leave property and was told she would be arrested.

It was then that she called 911, shopping for a more sympathetic cop. Not a good idea.

Patterson refused [to leave the property] and called 911, telling the operator that the officer would not give Patterson her keys and to please send out someone to help her. Patterson was arrested and, when asked if she had any weapons or drugs on her person, police said she replied, “I have a gun in my …

Squeezed on:

By

skin%20decal%20naked%20nude%20woman%20sihouette.jpg

Honestly, sir, get a life. Don’t look at it. Move to the mountains. Read the Constitution. But please, don’t waste anyone’s time with your complaints about this decal!!!!! As reported by Great Falls Tribune (Montana):

Brian Smith is tired of coming home from work to see what he calls pornography [see above] staring him in the face from across the alley.

Smith, who lives on the 1600 block of 1st Avenue North, said the problem began when he noticed a large decal on the back window of a car in the parking lot of Quality Life Concepts. The decal is a white silhouette of a naked woman.

“To me, this has crossed the line,” he said.

What does the decal’s owner think?

Offensive or not, Shanna Weaver, who owns the car and decal in question, said it’s her right to display the picture.

“It’s my freedom of speech, which he can’t take away,” Weaver said. “It’s no different than the mud flaps that you see on trucks.”

What do you have to say to that, sir [other than that you want all those mud flaps on trucks across the country removed]?

Smith feels differently. There are certain parts of the body in that silhouette that neither he nor his wife, Louise, like to look at when they pull into their garage directly across from Quality of Life Concepts, where Weaver works — and parks.

“My upbringing dictates that the human body is a sacred thing, not something that should be put on display,” Smith said.

Perhaps your upbringing would have been aided with a dose of tolerance. With such disparate views on the subject, could they work this out?

Smith and Weaver confirmed in separate interviews that Smith talked to Weaver about the decal, telling her that he didn’t like looking at it and asking if she could back her car into her parking spot or park it somewhere else where the decal didn’t face his house. Weaver initially agreed, honoring Smith’s request for one day. The next day, the decal was back in Smith’s view.

Although The Juice prefers to back in, good for her! But that wasn’t the end of it for Mr. Smith.

That’s when Smith wondered if he could take his complaint to the police. Smith’s point of view is that the sticker on the back of Weaver’s car is pornography, and it should be illegal to display it in public.

A police officer dispatched to check out the decal determined that the illustration didn’t fit the city or state’s statute defining obscenity. The legal spat between Smith and Weaver never made it past a complaint with the Great Falls Police Department …

You can read more (a lot) here.

Squeezed on:

By

love%20shopping%20to%20shop%20i.jpg

Truth be told, The Juice isn’t a Kohl’s guy either. But some people get really excited about shopping there …

A man from Oconomowoc, accused of fondling himself in a department store, was charged Monday with one count of Lewd and Lascivious Behavior.

According to the criminal complaint, Daniel Wagner, 38, was seen masturbating in a Kohl’s Department store on St. Paul Ave. in April.

Wagner was also charged with Disorderly Conduct. If convicted, he faces up to a year in prison.

(The above is from a report by Wisconsin station TMJ4 at todaystmj4.com.)

Squeezed on:

By

pants%20on%20fire%20liar.jpg

Do you think you would wake up while someone was setting your pants on fire? This gent didn’t. As reported by nj.com:

A 47-year-old Trenton man suffered burns to his leg when his pants were set on fire last night after he fell asleep on the front porch of his home, police said.

The man awoke around 9 p.m. on the 1200 block of East State Street to find his pant leg on fire, police said.

Is The Juice the only one who thinks this guy was shitfaced?

The man was taken to the hospital and treated for second-degree burns to his calf.

The man told police no one was in the area when he awoke and no suspects have been identified. The case remains under investigation.

Here’s the source.