Articles Posted in Juice Drops

Squeezed on:

By

ouch%20ouch%20ouch%20ouch.jpeg

After reading this post, you will agree that no man will EVER mess with this woman. Hell, no man will even get within grabbing distance of her. Warning to male Juice readers: you may feel this man’s pain. As reported by wbtv.com:

Police in Shelby [North Carolina] say they arrested a woman over the weekend after she squeezed a man’s testicles out of his scrotum.

Joyce Maxine Gregory, 35, is charged with malicious castration and assault inflicting serious bodily injury, according to Shelby Police Chief Jeff Ledford.

YEOW! But why?

Police say Gregory got into an argument with an older man Saturday morning. When he went outside to call 911 she followed him and grabbed his scrotum.

The man ran to a nearby rescue squad building for help.

How could you possibly run after that? As for the perp …

Police were sent to the residence on Bowman Street to arrest Gregory. When she was placed in the patrol car, she pulled down her pants and urinated in the backseat.

Nice touch, right? You’ll find the source here, including a mug shot.

Squeezed on:

By

stack%20stacks%20of%20cash%20piles%20lots%20tons.jpg

If you went to law school, you probably read the title of the post and thought, hmm, that sounds like a question on a law school exam. If you’re a normal person, you probably thought “finders, keepers.” So, who gets the money? As reported by azcentral.com:

An Arizona court says a man’s heirs are entitled to $500,000 cash that was found in the walls of his former home years after he died.

The Court of Appeals ruling Thursday upholds a judge’s decision that the money, stashed in ammunition cans inside the walls, belongs to Robert Spann’s estate.

Spann died in 2001. According to the ruling, his daughters found stocks, bonds, cash and gold hidden in his suburban Phoenix home before they sold it seven years later.

The couple who bought the home in Paradise Valley claimed the cash after a worker found it in the walls during kitchen and bathroom remodeling.

We’re rich! We’re rich! No? Exactly how is that money not the property of the current homeowner?

The Court of Appeals said that legally, the money was only mislaid, not abandoned, so it still belonged to Spann’s estate.

Lawyers: Yes, of course. Normal folks: WTF are you talking about? Here’s the source.

Squeezed on:

By

call%20it%20a%20day.jpg

Some folks just don’t know when to give up. Some do, though, even when they’re hammered. As reported by The Bee News (Western New York):

Police responded to an accident on Northwood Avenue, where a car had run over a metal sign. The suspect was located on a nearby street and admitted he had been drinking. After failing his third field sobriety test, the suspect said, “Let’s just call it a day.”

Uncle!

Squeezed on:

By

pepper%20spray.jpg

Sure, things would go a lot more smoothly for you if you could just pepper spray people who don’t listen to you. But you can’t. Or, can you … Okay, you can, but it’ll cost you, as a Georgia teacher discovered. As reported by 11alive.com:

According to a Macon police news release, officers were called to the Elam Alexander [Academy] … last Friday.

The release says a school video captured [teacher Barbara] Neeley spraying the 14-year-old boy. Police say two boys were disrupting a classroom and Neeley told them to return to their seats.

She warned she would pepper spray them if they didn’t sit down. They didn’t, and police say Neeley sprayed them. One boy closed his eyes and was not affected; the other boy was treated by a nurse and his parents were called to school.

And what happened to Ms. Neeley?

Bibb schools spokesman Chris Floore said Barbara Neeley resigned from Elam Alexander Academy on Wednesday, after school officials completed their internal investigation of the pepper-spray incident. Neeley still faces a charge of cruelty to children, according to Macon police.

Here’s the source.

Squeezed on:

By

snorting%20drugs%20line%20snort%20cocaine%20.jpg

After this experience, it’s hard to imagine any of these young men snorting anything again, EVER. Although they thought they were snorting drugs, turns out they were snorting dogs and a man. Yes, you read that correctly. As reported in The New York Post:

Waldo Soroa, 19; Matrix Andaluz, 18; Jose Marrero, 19; and two juveniles broke into a house in Florida, spotted white powder in two urns, decided it was coke or heroin, and promptly began snorting it, officials said.

Nope.

… the “drugs” turned out to be the cremated remains of homeowner Holli Tencza’s dad and her two Great Danes.

The [young men] said they eventually realized their mistake, and had a brief attack of conscience.

“Brief” being the key word …

They talked about returning the ashes that were left, but then they decided their fingerprints would be pulled off the urns, so they dumped the evidence in a nearby lake.

[HT to a regular reader (who wishes to remain anonymous – can you blame him?) for bringing this story to The Juice’s attention.]

Squeezed on:

By

funny%20ha%20ha%20ha.jpg
Perhaps the only time it’s safe to laugh in open court is when the judge does. A North Carolina man thought otherwise, and paid for it in a big way. As reported by The Fayetteville Observer:

A Cumberland County judge didn’t find it funny when a man kept laughing in her courtroom Friday.

Judge Toni King asked Johnny Montgomery, 47, what was so amusing. According to the Sheriff’s Office, Montgomery told her, “It’s none of your business.”

Continue reading →
Squeezed on:

By

dildo%20dog.jpg

Seriously, are you ever going to escape from the police armed with a dildo? From The Chicago Tribune:

Carolee Bildsten, 56, of Gurnee, will plead not guilty next month to accusations that she charged an officer with the “clear, rigid feminine pleasure device” described in a police report, defense attorney Neil Calanca said.

Mr. Calanca was not pleased with the inclusion of a description of the “weapon.”

A former police officer, Calanca said the officer involved in the incident “should be ashamed of himself,” and that he would have been embarrassed to include such information in a police report. Gurnee police Cmdr. Jay Patrick countered that such reports “are required to be a factual account of an incident.”

So what led to the brandishing of the “clear, rigid feminine pleasure device?”

The alleged assault occurred when the officer went with Bildsten to her apartment in the 5300 block of David Court on Nov. 9 after employees at Joe’s Crab Shack in Gurnee accused her of dining without paying for the second time, according to Patrick.

Bildsten reached into a dresser drawer for what the officer thought was money to pay her bill, but instead pulled out the “pleasure device,” police allege. The officer deflected the sex toy with his hand, and he was not injured, Patrick said.

The charges?

Along with the aggravated assault charge, Bildsten is scheduled to appear in court on Jan. 27 on the Crab Shack-related theft of services charge and an unrelated charge for aggravated driving under the influence of alcohol.

Click here for the source.

Squeezed on:

By

rock%20paper%20scissors.jpg

And some folks say civility no longer exists in the legal profession! In the case of Avista Management, Inc. v. Wausau Underwriters Insurance Co., Judge Presnell (United States District Court – Florida – Orlando Division) would no doubt agree. The attorneys in the case, whose offices are in the same building, could not agree on where to hold a deposition. Judges HATE to be pulled into such minor disputes. So, when Avista’s attorney filed a “Motion to Designate Location of a Rule 30(b)(6) Deposition,” Judge Presnell denied it, and issued a novel ruling, paving the way for the first RPS Showdown.

“Instead, the Court will fashion a new form of alternative dispute resolution, to wit …” Enough legal jargon. The Judge ordered that the attorneys, each with a paralegal as a witness, play “one (1) game of ‘rock, paper, scissors'” [the RPS Showdown] on the front steps of the Courthouse on June 30, 2006. Of course, the Judge chose the Courthouse steps only “if counsel cannot agree on a neutral site.” Well, their offices are in the same building … (Click here to read the two page Order.)

So, with the big game just days away, due to either pre-game jitters, or the thought of scores of TV cameras focused on the event, the attorneys agreed on a location for the deposition. (I’m guessing that the game did take place – behind closed doors.) Noting that “with civility restored (at least for now),” Judge Presnell vacated his widely hailed “rock, papaer, scissors” Order. The RPS Showdown was not to be. (Click here to see the Order.)

Continue reading →
Squeezed on:

By

overloaded%20scooter.jpg

It’s truly shocking that these guys were caught, what with such a great plan and all. As reported by the Columbia County, Florida Sheriff’s Office:

Deputy Sheriff Jesse Cieslik and Deputy Sheriff Will Porter were patrolling the area of East Duval Street. They encountered a subject driving a scooter on NE James Ave. The subject (Wayne Rieley) was carrying two truck tool boxes and two ladders. Deputies Cieslik and Porter approached the man on the scooter and discovered a second person (Paul Bullard) walking rapidly away. Both men were stopped for questioning. When the man on the scooter was approached by the Deputies, he threw the items off his scooter and stated that he “did not have anything to do with it”.

You mean with the stuff you just threw off your scooter, right in front of us? Doh!

Deputies determined that both men had stolen the tool boxes and ladders from the Hacker Sign Company on East Baya Ave. Suspect Bullard was recently fired from the Hacker Sign Company and knew where the items were being stored. The owner of the Hacker Sign Company responded to scene and took possession of the stolen property. The stolen items were estimated to be valued at over $500.00. Both suspects were arrested without incident and transported to the Columbia County Detention Facility.

Click here to see the source, including mug shots.

Squeezed on:

By

babysitter.gif

It will become readily apparent why you would not want this woman to look after your kid, though you might want her in the foxhole with you. As reported by wwl.com (New Orleans):

Investigators say 31-year-old New Orleans resident Brittany G. London (pictured above) is the woman who assaulted a security guard with a stun gun at the Esplanade Mall Saturday night.

According to police, London was in the Gymboree store in the mall with an infant in a stroller. When the guard confronted her after seeing London shoplifting, officials say the woman disabled the guard with a stun gun and fled in a gold Honda Accord, leaving the child behind.

Wo! But before you rush to judgment …

London was not the baby’s mother, and the child’s mother reportedly contacted authorities to get the child back after Child Protective Services took custody.

See, the baby wasn’t hers! So what’s all the fuss about? She was just babysitting. The charges?

London faces charges of Child Desertion, Aggravated Battery and Theft.

Here’s the source, including a photo of Ms. London.