It would appear that Mr. Octavian Borges is Taserproof. Check this out, from The Courier Mail:
A North Queensland man, aged 21, has stunned police by proving impervious to a Taser deployment and casually removing the barbs – not once but three times.
Octavian Borges casually removed the barbs fired into his upper body by police during a tense situation at Townsville on Monday.
This has to be one of the worst attempted burglaries of all time. It’s kind of like three guys running from their own shadows. As reported by khou.com:
The suspects were among three men who walked into a Katz’s Boutique in the 9800 block of the North Freeway on April 13. It was around 3 a.m. and surveillance cameras were rolling.
Police say two of the men had weapons. The suspect with the revolver apparently bumped into the suspect with the rifle, causing the rifle to discharge. “Which then spooked both the suspects,” Officer Brieden said.
Adding insult to injury, the public is now aware of this gent’s very own Plaxico Burress moment. But for the reporting law, nobody would have been the wiser. As reported by The Corvallis Gazette-Times:
Ethan Bennett, 36, told Benton County sheriff’s deputies he was at his residence at 24750 Cox Lane in Monroe about 4:15 p.m. Wednesday when he tried to shoot the [squirrel] with a .22-caliber rifle.
The squirrel reportedly ran up his left leg, and he pulled the trigger, hitting himself in the foot.
Yes, you can get busted for walking down the street with a Bible. And yes, of course there is more to the story. As reported by The Bradenton Herald:
The Bradenton Police Department detained a naked man after he was spotted walking in the 1100 block of Martin Luther King Avenue West at 12:09 a.m. Sunday, according to a report.
Details, details. So the guy was nude. People are too uptight.
Are you insinuating, sir, that I am not gainfully employed? Well, let me tell you something … Per wfmj.com:
School authorities report to police that the fifteen year old boy was caught in the school with five packages of pot on Tuesday. The assistant principal told officers that the boy confessed that he intended to sell the marijuana to another student.
Uh-oh.
So this couple was shooting a gun in the woods. What’s the big deal? Well, there are all kinds of woods. As reported by The Bradenton Herald:
A man and a woman have been charged with getting drunk and shooting at a tree at G.T. Bray Park in Bradenton, according to police. About 11:10 p.m. Sunday, officers responded to reports of gunfire at the park, 5502 33rd Ave. Drive W.
They were in a public park! Doh!
It’s unclear if this guy is a member of the first group of folks. He’s definitely someone who sucks at Walmart. As reported by The Independent Tribune (Concord, North Carolina):
Michael Anthony Brown, of 207 Lincoln St. SW, Concord, was arrested and charged with assault on a female in March after police say he approached a woman in a Lincolnton Walmart, told her he was a podiatry student and sucked on her toes.
Very credible story. Can you believe she didn’t buy it? He has tried less subtle approaches.
Warning: this is truly disgusting. If you try and think of a product you could buy at CVS, and then return, that would be really, really disgusting, you would NOT think of this. As reported by the Jacksonville Sheriff’s Office:
Investigation revealed the individual was frequenting the CVS since March 2012 and began returning the product in April 2012. He would purchase a pack of enemas and return them at a later time. According CVS personnel, the items appeared to be unused and therefore the store would put the box of enemas back on the shelf for resale.
Enemas! Back on the shelf! “Appeared” to be unused …
When you hear the word “battery” you think of 2 things: “Hey, do you have a AAA battery?” Or you think of someone getting the ass kicked. The Juice is quite confident that you would not think of something like this. Per The Northwest Florida Daily News:
A man was charged with battery after he poured water on a woman during an argument, an arrest report indicates.
Yes, water.
There are lots of ways to resist arrest. This one in particular, every male officer would likely agree, should carry an enhanced sentence. As reported by The Chicago Tribune:
“Something’s wrong with her,” said Cook County Judge Adam Bourgeois Jr., who initially ordered the 20-year-old held on $50,000 bail. After a short recess, Bourgeois decided to instead release Ashleigh Heather Edwards on an individual recognizance bond with electronic monitoring.
You’re curious, right? What did she do?
Legal Juice