Articles Posted in Here Comes the Judge

Las Vegas Municipal Judge George Assad got a little carried away. Seems he was upset that one Joshua Madera failed to appear in court to clear up some unpaid traffic tickets. Per the Las Vegas Sun:

When Madera called the court to seek a continuance because he was starting a new job that day, a clerk told him he could not obtain a continuance over the telephone.

So …

[Ann] Chrzanowski, Madera’s girlfriend, then called the court and was told she could appear in his place.

Strange, but okay … until she got there, anyway.

When Chrzanowski appeared, [Judge] Assad ordered her to call Madera to tell him to come to court.

“Tell him you’re going to jail if he doesn’t get his butt down here,” the judge said.

Handcuffed, Ms. Chrzanowski called Mr. Madera. Then she was put in a cell! For 2 hours, until Mr. Madera arrived “and arranged a payment plan.” What happened to Judge Assad? He is going to have to apologize formally to Ms. Chrzanowski. He got off easy (with just the apology) because the Nevada Supreme Court thought the public censure recommended by the Judicial Discipline Commission was too strong. As for the effectiveness of his tactics:

Madera had not paid any tickets when the discipline commission met in November 2006, seven years after some of them had been issued.

Here’s the source.

Alex Kozinski, Chief Judge of the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals, is one of the most important judges in the United States. (The 9th Circuit includes California, Washington, Nevada, Oregon, Idaho, Montana, Arizona, Alaska and Hawaii.) As fate would have it, Judge Kozinski is presiding over the trial of Ira Isaacs, a filmmaker based in Los Angeles, who is accused of distributing criminally obscene sexual-fetish videos depicting bestiality and defecation. You will never guess what was on the Judge’s website (which he thought was private – and is now down). Per the Los Angeles Times:

The sexually explicit material on Kozinski’s site earlier this week was extensive, including images of masturbation, public sex and contortionist sex. There was a slide show striptease featuring a transsexual, and a folder that contained a series of photos of women’s crotches as seen through snug fitting clothing or underwear. There were also themes of defecation and urination, though they are not presented in a sexual context.

Oops. The uninitiated might think that Judge Kozinski is some lefty. They would be wrong.

… every now and then, comes around. This is one of those times. Remember the New York judge who jailed 46 people because a cell phone went off in his courtroom? (If you don’t, click here. It was outrageous.) Guess what happened to him (Niagra Falls City Court Judge Robert M. Restaino)? He’s gone! Here’s the article on his removal from the bench by the State Commission on Judicial Conduct, whose decision was just upheld by the State Court of Appeals.

Yes, it’s a wrongful death case. William H. Waggoner, age 88, died a month after he was hit by an automatic door at a Wal-Mart in Marble Falls, Texas. Is it me, or is a case like this an inappropriate forum to try to be funny? Judge James Nowlin tried … and failed. The parties could not agree on where to hold the deposition of Wal-Mart’s corporate representative. (Wal-Mart wanted it in Bentonville, Arkansas. The Waggoner family wanted it in San Antonio, Texas.) So this is where, in a case about a man’s death, Judge Nowlin attempted to inject some humor. This is word-for-word from his May 3, 2008 Order (filed on June 3, 2008):

The Court is sympathetic with [Wal-Mart’s] argument. Surely [Wal-Mart’s] corporate representative, a resident of Arkansas, would feel great humiliation by being forced to enter the home state of the University of Texas, where the legendary Texas Longhorns have wrought havoc on the Arkansas Razorbacks with an impressive 55-21 all-time series record.

For additional levity, the Judge threw in this footnote:

It is worth noting that the Razorbacks, who disgracefully retreated from the Southwest Conference to the gentler pastures of the Southeastern Conference, could have likely learned a lesson about stamina and perseverance in the face of battle by visiting the Alamo in San Antonio.

Hah hah hah! That is so not funny. But there’s more.

On the other hand, the Court is sympathetic with Plaintiff’s position. Plaintiffs might enter Arkansas with a bit of trepidation as many residents of Arkansas are still seeking retribution for the “Game of the Century” in which James Street and Darrell Royal stunned the Razorbacks by winning the 1969 National Championship.

Still not funny. Here’s how Judge Nowlin resolved this dispute:

Because the Court is sympathetic to both parties’ positions, it has found a neutral site, intended to avoid both humiliation and trepidation of retribution.

Accordingly, it is ordered that unless the parties agree otherwise, the deposition … shall occur … on the steps of the Texarkana Federal Building [on the Texas/Arkansas border].

I know you must be ROTFL, but here’s the final blast of humor:

It is further ordered that each party is to remain on his or her respective side of the state line.

So very unfunny. So very unjudicial. Click here to read the Order.

Turkish barber Sabri Bogday has been sentenced to beheading for “using God’s name in vain,” as reported by the Los Angeles Times. It happened “during an argument with a neighbor, who later complained to police.” Why is the judge you get so important?

The [Arab News Daily] quoted a lawyer as saying: “Some judges consider it heresy and infidelity, and say that the accused cannot repent and so faces the death penalty. Others consider the statement to be disbelief, thus allow the accused to retract what he has said and repent and then set him free.”

Mr. Bogday has already been in jail for 13 months! The Turkish President is pleading his case with the Saudi King.

Hey, I’m all for giving someone the benefit of the doubt, if it’s a close call, and there’s no history. You make the call on this one. Per the Palm Beach Post:

The Judicial Qualifications Commission filed formal charges against [Palm Beach County Circuit Court Judge Howard] Berman in December 2000. Three women – two probation officers and a former public defender – accused him of groping, inquiring about their underwear and asking for sex. He threatened to “bury” one if she told. Three additional women stepped forward with similar stories.

Laura Johnson, now a county court judge, reported that when she and Berman were prosecutors, he invited her to his home to help with some cases. Johnson told investigators Berman disappeared into his bedroom, then returned carrying cocktails – and wearing only a maid’s apron.

Wow. So what did Judge Berman do? He stepped down three days before the judicial commission hearing.

Fast forward a few years. In 2005, Berman was hired as an assistant state attorney, where he was apparently doing okay, until recently. According to recently released personnel records,

Berman … was suspended without pay for 10 days after asking a secretary, “Wanna be naughty?”

Mr. Berman’s defense?

In his written response to the allegations, he said he was merely admiring the woman’s engagement ring and said, “It’s not too gaudy.”

So was it “gaudy” or “naughty?” Not a tough call. So on top of the 10-day suspension,

Berman was ordered to avoid contact with the woman, who was not identified. He was further warned that if any similar complaints were lodged, he would be fired, according to the disciplinary report signed by Chief Assistant State Attorney Paul Zacks.

Here’s hoping the maid’s apron doesn’t make another surprise appearance.

I gotta say, I really like the way Springdale District Court Judge Stanley Ludwig handled this one. Here’s what happened, as reported in the Arkansas Democrat Gazette:

The alleged victim had accused his wife of beating him, Ludwig said. Ludwig said he found the woman innocent, believing the man’s injuries to be self-inflicted.

“You’re a controlling asshole who went to Honduras to find a submissive Hispanic woman to marry,” Ludwig recalled telling the man. “I guess I can call him a liar, but not an asshole.”

In October 2006, as reported in The Montgomery Advertiser:

[Then attorney Stuart] DuBose, pleaded guilty to violating the State Bar’s rules and was suspended from the practice of law for 45 days. But the state Supreme Court ruled that the penalty wasn’t sufficient.

The following month, “attorney Dubose” won the election, and became “Judge Dubose.” So? Well ….

… DuBose took office Jan. 15, 2007, and the next month challenged the State Bar’s disciplinary action, arguing, among other things, that the Bar was “divested of its jurisdiction” to discipline him once he became an incumbent circuit judge.

Ludicrous, right? Wrong!

The [Alabama] Supreme Court ruled that DuBose is entitled to have the disciplinary proceedings initiated against him by the State Bar stayed until he’s no longer serving as a circuit judge.

Wacky. But it’s not over for Judge Dubose because, while the attorney discipline action against him has been stayed,

The Judicial Inquiry Commission made 60 separate allegations against DuBose in January, covering his conduct on the bench and as a private lawyer before he took office in January 2007.

As a result, he is on leave with pay, and could be booted from the bench. And if that happens, here comes the Alabama Bar Association with its disciplinary proceeding.