Articles Posted in Gross

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car thief break in

You’ll never guess what these thieves stole from a car they tossed. As reported in the

Fremont Police Department Blotter:

During the night unknown suspects burglarized a vehicle that was parked on the front lawn of a residence on Third Street in Niles. The vehicle was ransacked, but the only item taken was a bag of elephant dung that the vehicle owner had received as a gag gift. Appears they may have thought it was a bag of marijuana. We assume they must have been pretty shocked by the surprise!

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Putting aside the question of why a jail employee would ever eat anything prepared by an inmate, this is pretty gross. As reported by The South Florida Sun-Sentinel:

Anthony Gentile, 41, an inmate at the Manatee County Jail, was assigned to work at the facility’s kitchen prep room last Wednesday to help make salads, according to an arrest affidavit from the Manatee County Sheriff’s Office.

While preparing salads gentile Gentile took as spoon he had been using and stuck it down his pants and rubbed his gentilia with the utensil before taking the spoon and placing it back into the salad, according to the report.

Sure, that’s gross, but …

The inmate then allegedly placed his junk into the bowl of salad.

To wrap up his prep …

Gentile then reportedly spat into the salad.

Perfection! It is ready to be served.

After fouling the greens, Gentile then handed the salad to a employee of the jail and asked him to taste the salad to “make sure it was alright,” the affidavit stated.

The employee tasted the salad not knowing what had been done to it and commented to his jail buds that “The (female dog) is out there eating it, according to the Sheriff’s Office.

The charges?

Gentile is now charged with Battery of a Facility Employee by Expelling Fluids

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People use the words “chicken shit” all the time. This fella, though, is accused of doing much more than using the words. As seen at todayskccr.com:

Prosecutors say [Tom] Parsons [49] , following a dispute with the county treasurer over a vehicle registration, placed the registration card in chicken feces and mailed the material to the official in a zip-lock bag.  The first-class mail piece was sent from the Pierre Post Office.

Brilliant! They’ll never trace it back to you… The plea?

Parsons entered the plea to a single count of Injurious Articles as Nonmailable Friday afternoon before U.S. Magistrate Judge Mark Moreno in Pierre Federal Court. A trial date has not yet been set.

In the mean time …

Following a discussion on conditions, Moreno released Parsons on a personal recognizance bond with supervision meaning he has to remain in contact with the parole office. Parsons also can have no contact with postal service employees except for regular transactions during the normal business day.

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Do not read this within 30 minutes of eating. It’s gross. It’s about diarrhea. As reported by Syracuse.com, there was a dispute between two roommates about said diarrhea.

Palmieri, 59, was suffering from severe diarrhea March 10 in the apartment he shared at 473 Pleasantview Ave. with David Utt, 62, according to a Syracuse police report.

“I asked him to use the bathroom fan so that it wouldn’t smell up the house,” Utt said in a written statement. The request upset Palmieri.

Seems like a reasonable request to The Juice.

“Thanks for the sympathy,” Palmieri said, according to Utt.

“It’s common courtesy,” Utt replied.

Uh-oh.

Palmieri then vowed to “crap all over the house, the bathroom and my car,” Utt told police.

Oh it’s on.

Palmieri got into his pajama bottoms, then went outside, Utt told police. Utt was suspicious because Palmieri doesn’t smoke.

During the night, Utt discovered Palmieri had defecated “all over the floor in the bathroom and in the hallway near the bathroom,” Utt’s statement said.

The next morning, Utt opened the door to his 1997 Lincoln and saw “that Palmieri had, in fact, defecated over the back seat of his car, on the leather seats,” a police report said.

Utt had to drive the feces-laden car because he had to get to a doctor’s appointment that morning, he said. When he got home, he gave Palmieiri five minutes to start cleaning it all up.

Yeah. Think that happened?

“How does it feel to be (expletive) on?” Palmieri asked, Utt told police. Then Palmieri punched him in the face, Utt said.

So you shit all over the place, and then you punch him in the face?

Utt told police he doesn’t know how much it will cost him to have the car professionally cleaned, the report said.

Just junk it pal. You’re wasting your time.

Palmieri told police in a phone interview that he didn’t want to give his version of the story or return to the scene, “adding that he has diarrhea,” said the report written by Officer Shawn Prue.

The Juice hopes the new roommate has a bad sniffer. The charges?

Palmieri was charged with second-degree harassment and fourth-degree criminal mischief.

Here’s the source, including a link to the actual Syracuse police report.

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Yes, shoplifters will be prosecuted. And so will folks who treat merchandise like this … As reported by The Brooklyn Paper:

A 32-year-old urinated all over costly clothing inside a Downtown department store on Dec. 11, investigators claim.

Dude!

Police cuffed a suspect accused of ruining more than $1,500 of garb inside the Fulton Mall shop between Gallatin Place and Hoyt Street at around 9:48 pm.

The suspect — who faces charges of criminal mischief, disorderly conduct, exposure, and “throwing or dropping offensive matters into streets and public places” — admitted to relieving himself on the clothing, according to documents from the District Attorney’s office.

Here’s the source.

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Yes folks, you read that correctly. As reported by detroit.cbslocal.com:

Jason Festerman was called to school after his son was suspended for spraying prank item Liquid Ass in his classroom. Ads claim Liquid Ass is a “power–packed, super–concentrated liquid (that) begins to evaporate filling the air with a genuine, foul butt–crack smell with hints of dead animal and fresh poo.”

Festerman claims he was innocently checking the item in the school, when it discharged — and the police were called.

Uh huh.

Festerman was charged with disorderly conduct, which carries a possibly penalty of $200 and/or 90 days in jail. Marine City Schools officials claim he attacked teachers and administrators with the foul smell.

They believe he was acting out over his son’s one-day suspension. In a TV interview, Festerman said his whole family enjoys carrying out “Liquid Ass ” pranks wherever they go, though he said they punished their son for bringing their property to his class and disturbing the room.

What about Festerman’s assertion that he just accidentally sprayed the, um, scent while testing to see if there was any left?

“Our security cameras seem to indicate otherwise,” Wolford said.

Bam! Here’s the source.

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Nobody has to go to the bathroom this badly. To what length did this man go to try to get his wife to leave the bathroom? You won’t believe this one. Per The Northwest Florida Daily News.

According to the Fort Walton Beach arrest report, the couple was arguing inside of the bathroom of their residence on Windsor Lane on Dec. 8 when the husband [age 38] asked the woman to leave the room so he could urinate. He threatened to urinate on his wife if she did not leave.

Yeah, like you would ever …

She refused and the husband turned toward the wife and urinated on her, according to the report.

Ewwwwww. Yes, that’s why this is posted in The Juice’s “Gross” category.

The wife shoved the husband and told him to stop several times then began to hit the man on the shoulder causing him to stop.

Please, tell me this is a crime.

The man was charged with a misdemeanor domestic violence battery and his court date is Dec. 26.

Yes! Think he’ll agree to a plea, or choose to appear in court? Here’s the source.

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When you think of road rage, you think about aggressive driving, or maybe even someone pulling a weapon, right? But this? You would not think of this. Ever. Per BeeNews.com (New York):

Police responded to a road rage incident on Union Road. Reportedly, two motorists were spitting on each other after following each other around town.

The Juice can think of worse ways to settle disputes.

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Even if you thought this would allow you to avoid a DUI, you probably wouldn’t do it … unless, maybe, you were drunk? As reported by kpel965.com (Lafayette, Louisiana):

Police Chief Scott Silverii says 53-year-old Wayne Benoit was pulled over Tuesday afternoon after police saw his truck swerving down the road, at one point almost hitting someone riding a bicycle.

Almost hit a bicycle? Now The Juice is really pissed!

Silverii says Benoit reeked of alcohol, and he failed a sobriety test. Once it became apparent police were going to slap handcuffs on him, that’s when Benoit’s mind went into creative overdrive, Silverii says.

And … “Action!”

“Officers said that Benoit began straining really hard,” Silverii says. “Eventually, the straining gave way to Benoit purposely defecating himself.”

Apparently, Benoit thought he would be released after “his little episode,” Silverii says. But no, police arrested him anyway, and he was booked into the Lafourche Parish Detention Center.

Benoit had a blood alcohol content level of 0.20 percent.

Yikes. Here’s the source, with a mug shot.

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Clearly this lady is not cut out to be a school bus driver. Why? Well, as reported by The Herald-Tribune (Sarasota, Florida) …

A school bus driver has been fired for defecating on school grounds and encouraging a student to drop his pants and “moon” other students through the bus window.

Maureen Butler, 50, also reportedly admitted to district investigators that high-school students threw condoms and tampons on her bus that were found later by elementary school children.

A fine example for the youngsters. You can read a fair amount more here. And yes, she was fired.