Actually, Maryland resident Erin Alban has a raised middle finger sticking up from her mailbox support. As reported by The Baltimore Sun, her neighbors aren’t real happy about that, or the …
used-car-lot-style pennants [that] run between trees;
plastic reindeer;
Ms. Gill Hodges committed an almost unspeakable crime [kids, leave the room]: she used four parking vouchers to pay for her parking, instead of two! And she had the nerve to wonder what difference it made, since her four vouchers added up to £2, exactly the required fee. I can answer her question the same way I answer my kids on occasion [the occasion being that I can’t think of a reason] – because. Ms. Hodges is not one to take such things (including a £60 [$120 US]) fine lying down. She e-mailed the council, and, per The Guardian, here’s how it responded:
Despite clear instructions on the reverse of Mrs Hodges’ vouchers warning that you can only use two vouchers at any time, the council decided to use its discretionary powers and revoke the fine.
However, this cancellation came with the proviso that should Mrs Hodges get another parking ticket, that fine will not be cancelled.
So kids, remember today’s lesson: while 2 x 1 = 2, don’t assume that 4 x .5 = 2. Click here to read more.
Mike Timmer, as you will soon discover, is a huge Detroit Red Wings fan. So it naturally figures that he brought an octopus (under his shirt and jacket) to Game 4 of the Red Wings-Avalanche series. Why, you might ask, did he bring the octopus in? Per the Detroit Free Press:
The tradition began in 1952 when a fish merchant threw an octopus on the ice in Detroit because eight victories were then needed to win the Stanley Cup playoffs.
Carrying on a tradition established more than 50 years ago, Timmer chucked the octopus onto the ice of the Pepsi Arena in Denver. Not only did he get booted from the game, he also got busted by the Denver police. For what? “Throwing stones or missiles.” Really.
“It shall be unlawful for any person to throw any stone or other missile upon or at any vehicle, building, tree or other public or private property, or upon or at any person in any public way or place which is public in nature, or on enclosed or unenclosed ground.”
So what happened? Denver Magistrate Catherine Cary dismissed the charges. To read more, click here.
So Vaune Dillmann is a retired policeman who owns the Mt. Shasta Brewing Co. in Weed, California. (The town was named after lumber baron and state senator Abner Weed.) The bottle caps of his beer read “Try Legal Weed” (surrounded by “A Friend in Weed Is a Friend Indeed.”) No big deal, right? Wrong, in a big way. Per The Nashua Telegraph:
The U.S. Treasury Department’s Alcohol and Tobacco Tax and Trade Bureau says those three little words allude to marijuana use.
The bureau’s bureaucrats have told Dillmann he needs to stop using the “Try Legal Weed” bottle caps. If he doesn’t, he could risk fines or sanctions. His worst fear: being forced out of business.
Remember the story about the Swedish parents who wanted to name their daughter “Metallica?” Or the Swedish transvestite who wanted to change his name to Pia? Add to that list the Swedish couple who wanted to name their daughter “Elvis.” Fuhgeddaboutit, said the National Tax Board. Why? Because …
Elvis “is a first name of a masculine type.”
While the King might be pleased with that determination, no doubt Elvis’s parents are not. They should follow Metallica’s parents lead, who fought the law, and won.
Yes, Christian Haughwout, a 14-year-old student at The Morgan School in Clinton, Connecticut, was suspended for 10 days for … bringing a camera to school that emits a mild shock! The official reason for the suspension?
“Possession of a dangerous instrument and causing a threat or danger to the physical well-being of himself or other people.”
Really? Yes, and on top of that, as reported by The Hartford Courant:
Surely Ponce de Leon High School (Florida) Principal David Davis would deny it’s hatin’. Decide for yourself. As reported by the Student Press Law Center:
The lawsuit, filed Thursday [by a junior at the school], alleges that Principal David Davis told several students who were wearing rainbow belts and shirts and writing pro-gay expressions on their hands that supporting gay and lesbian rights was impermissible at the school. Davis suspended several of the students, leading junior Heather Gillman to question what expressions the school board prohibits.
Benjamin James Stevenson, a Florida ACLU attorney representing Gillman, sent a letter to the school board asking for guidance on what was regarded as permissible speech. The letter included 16 examples of phrases, symbols and images, such as “I Support My Gay Friends,” “GP [Gay Pride]” and “Pro-Gay Marriage,” and asked which if any of the symbols or phrases students could wear at school.
Brandon J. Young, an attorney for the school board, replied in a Nov. 12 letter that none of the symbols or phrases would be allowed. The letter said that, although the school board does not restrict pro-gay or anti-gay expression as such, school policy bars students from wearing anything “that may reasonably disrupt and interfere with the educational process of that student or other students.”
No! No! Not …. the rainbow! We’re doomed! So how much loot is the student asking for? A dollar.
The complaint asks the court for an injunction to prohibit school officials from suppressing students’ First Amendment rights. Among other things, the suit also asks for $1 in nominal damages, attorney fees and a declaration that the school violated Gillman’s rights.
To read more (a fair amount) click here.
It’s just a bunny, right? Wrong, as Elizabeth Johnson, a junior at Gateway High School in Kissimmee, Florida learned. Her crime? She wore sweat pants with a Playboy bunny and the word “Playboy.” The time? Two days of detention! From a UPI article, here are the highlights:
Elizabeth Johnson, a junior at Gateway High School, said a dean approached her at school and instructed her to change out of her black Playboy sweat pants, which she did. She was forced to stay for an hour after school for two days, the Orlando (Fla.) Sentinel reported Tuesday.
Johnson said there was nothing inappropriate about her attire, despite Playboy’s connection to soft-core pornography.
“The bunny is just a logo,” she said. “There’s nothing objectionable about that.”
“They’re black sweats,” Johnson said. “They are thick, cotton, exercise pants… I was dressed tastefully.”
The school district’s dress code does not bar students from wearing any specific clothing brands, but allows officials to ban clothing with “offensive, suggestive, or indecent” messages or images.
Hugh Hefner must be loving it – giving the Playboy brand some juice with the youngsters. Brilliant!
This crew makes the Montana Board of Barbers and Cosmetologists look great! I’m talking about the Florida Department of Business and Professional Regulation. As reported in The Ledger:
It began in 2005, when Sydney Bacchus, who holds a master’s degree in biology from Florida State University, spoke at a public hearing on behalf of opponents of a proposed sand-mining operation in Putnam County.
You see the problem, right? Of course you don’t! But those pointy-headed bureacrats did.
Soon after the appearance, Bacchus received a “cease and desist” order from the Florida Department of Business and Professional Regulation. Bacchus, the department claimed, was practicing geology without a license.
Would it surprise you to know that the complainant is a genuine state-licensed geologist (and supporter of the sand mine)? I didn’t think so.
Then those geniuses on the Board tried to fine Ms. Bacchus up to $5,000, and have her reprimanded. So she sued the Board, and they caved, dropping the case against her. What do you think the Judge said when the Board asked that her suit [against the Board] be thrown out? Nope. Now the Board has offered her $100,000 to settle the case! To read more, click here.
Melissa Franklin has been cutting hair for 16 years. She trained under 3 master barbers. She’s been cutting hair in Whitefish, Montana for almost 10 years. There’s only one problem – she’s a licensed “cosmetologist,” not a licensed “barber.” Nobody in town cares. The Montana Board of Barbers and Cosmetologists does, though.
When an inspector told Ms. Franklin that she couldn’t display a red, white and blue barbershop pole because she wasn’t a barber, she took his advice and removed the blue stripe. The end, right? Not even close. The inspector returned a year later – with his camera – and brought the evidence to his bosses. As reported in The Missoulian, the Board then sent Ms. Franklin a letter telling her:
Get rid of that pole. And not just that pole out front. The painted pole on the window, too. And the little antique wooden pole on the wall that advertises shave and a haircut 5 cents, tooth pulling 2 cents. And the plastic spray bottles, whose cylindrical bodies are colored to look like poles.
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