Articles Posted in Get A Life

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Does marinating a cat really enhance the flavor? Hey, don’t shoot the messenger. (And please, PETA folks, no more emails. The Juice truly likes animals, especially cats.) Mr. Gary Korkuc was caught literally marinating his cat. Here’s the story, as reported by www.buffalonews.com:

Buffalo police say officers heard the cat meowing when they stopped 51-year-old Gary Korkuc of Cheektowaga to ticket him for running a stop sign Sunday night.

They say they checked the trunk and found 4-year-old Navarro in a cage, his fur covered with oil, crushed red peppers and chili peppers.

Very uncool. But why?

Police say Korkuc told them he did it because Navarro was ill-tempered.

… he [also] told them he was going to cook Navarro. But they say Korkuc also complained that the neutered male cat got pregnant after he was spayed.

What what what? [Funnier for South Park fans.] A pregnant male cat? Anyway, it looks like Navarro will be fine, as he was cleaned up and is awaiting adoption. And Mr. Korkuc?

[He] was charged with cruelty and released; his phone number isn’t listed.

Think he’s glad he opted for an unlisted number?

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After 6 years of litigation, everything else was settled in this divorce, which began just 4 months after the birth of the child at the heart of the controversy. Just what is the controversy? Whether the birth mother can prohibit her daughter’s stepmother from calling the stepmother “Mum” or a variation thereof. Really. This was the only issue left for a Judge in Australia to decide. Per the Australian:

The woman, who cannot be named, argued that her ex-husband was deliberately undermining her role as their child’s mother, by encouraging his new wife to answer to the terms “Mum” and “Mummy” and “Mummy-D” (D being the first letter of the stepmother’s first name).

Biological mum’s argument:

… the stepmother should not be permitted to refer to herself “as a motherly figure”.

Biological dad?

By consent, her ex-husband agreed that his new wife should not be “Mum or “Mummy” but thought “Mummy-D” was fine.

Sounds like a reasonable compromise. Mum?

Ms Klement [mum] was “adamant that the child should only call her Mum” or any variation of “Mum”.

Judge, please, put an end to this.

The court declined to make an order that the child not refer to her stepmother as “Mummy-D” in part because the judge was concerned that such an order would lead to further litigation “where it would be up to the court to determine whether the father had breached the order in relation to encouraging the child to use the term Mummy-D”.

Well done, sir. Here’s the source.

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Have you ever heard of an ice cream truck driver – while parked – getting hurt on the job? Well, you’re about to. And it’s a strange one. As reported by The Salt Lake Tribune:

A Taylorsville woman is accused of spraying an industrial-strength cleaning solution in the eyes of an ice cream truck driver because she thought the treats were too expensive.

The Juice doesn’t even know where to begin with this one.

The driver’s “eyes burned,” and she was hospitalized after the Aug. 7 confrontation at an apartment complex near 700 West Mackinac Drive, police wrote in charges filed Monday.

According to court documents, the suspect approached the driver and ordered her to leave. When the driver did not leave, the woman sprayed the truck’s windows then sprayed the driver multiple times in the face with Mean Green cleaner, police wrote.

Clearly this is a woman with major issues.

The woman later told police she sprayed the ice cream truck driver because “she charges too much for ice cream,” investigators wrote. When the officer arrested her, she tried to pull away and threatened him, saying she would “sock [the officer] in the face” and “kick [the officer] in the balls,” police wrote.

So, instead of paying an extra, say, dollar, she’s looking at charges of … “assault, assault against a peace officer, interference with an arresting officer and committing a violent offense in the presence of a child.” Brilliant! Here’s the source.

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You come between this lady and her beer, YOU WILL PAY. And it doesn’t matter if you’re her husband. As reported by TCPalm.com:

The husband on Dec. 9 showed Fort Pierce police a cellphone video of his wife, Tricia Renee Habeb, searching for beer in the refrigerator.

“The suspect became irate at the fact the victim put her beer in the garbage can,” an affidavit states.

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You won’t believe what this door-to-door salesman was selling. As reported by The Sun Sentinel:

A Coconut Creek man accused of posing as a doctor and offering free door-to-door breast exams has reached a deal with prosecutors, lawyers told a Broward judge on Tuesday.

Phillip Winikoff, 81, was accused in April 2006 of carrying on the ruse with women at an apartment complex in the 3200 block of Northwest 40 Street in Lauderdale Lakes. Investigators said two women took Winikoff up on the offer, allowed him into their apartments and realized something was amiss only after the exams started.

So what happened?

At the time of Winikoff’s arrest, the Broward Sheriff’s Office said he carried a little black bag to lend credibility to his claim of being a doctor. The first victim, 36 at the time, told detectives he started the exam by fondling her breasts, and she knew something was wrong when his hands wandered elsewhere.

Perhaps Mr. Winikoff should have called an escort service?

By the time the victim called 911, Winikoff had already found a second victim, the sheriff’s office said.

Preying on women’s fear of breast cancer, and then sexually assaulting them? Dude should do time, regardless of his age. It’s unsure whether that will happen, as the Judge delayed sentencing. You can read more here.

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Sure, there have been mistakes made in the “war on drugs” and the “war on terror.” But exactly how Australian customs could make such a colossal mistake is hard to fathom. As reported at news.com.au:

Neil Parry was arrested in June last year at Darwin Airport and charged with trafficking 1.6kg of liquid ecstasy in two bottles of Pantene.

After spending three days in jail last year, and having friends’ homes searched, Mr Parry was granted bail.

There was just one teeny, tiny problem with the case against Mr. Parry.

Customs later admitted the toiletries contained no illegal drugs and all charges against Mr Parry were dropped.

NO DRUGS!

Today, Mr Parry told ABC Radio he had been given $100,000 in compensation for his ordeal and an apology.

Wow, so it worked out well for him after all? Not exactly.

“It is not worth it, no,” Mr Parry said.”I would rather it never happened,” he said.

He said most of the money would go towards his legal expenses.

Here’s the source.

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Nothing this exciting ever happened to The Juice during high school. Of course, The Juice attended high school even before the advent of those brick cell phones. Anyway, aren’t teachers supposed to be telling kids NOT to do this? As reported by The Cleveland Plain Dealer:

A North Ridgeville High School teacher is on paid administrative leave while police investigate reports that she had an affair with a student.

Police said rumors of a sexual relationship were circulating Wednesday after the teacher sent scantily clad pictures of herself to a student. Police said she admitted sending photos of herself in a bikini.

Police said the teacher admitted having “flirtatious conversations” and texts with one or two students, but denied rumors that she had a sexual relationship with any student.

That would be akin to pulling a Weiner, although a lighter version.

A statement from Captain Marti Garrow indicated that it is likely the information gathered in the investigation would be presented to the Lorain County Grand Jury for consideration of prosecution.

Here’s the source.

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It’s not hyberbole to say that this is almost certainly the strangest ticket ever issued. The offense? As reported by Al-Anba Daily:

In the first incident of its kind, a traffic policeman [in Kuwait City] issued a citation against an Arab motorist for having bad breath. 
A police source said it is a very strange incident and problematic too because the penalty is not known. “Will the motorist be fined; if so, how much will he have to pay and if his car is impounded, how long will it be in the police garage?” he asked. 
Incidentally, it is also mentioned on the citation that the motorist admitted that his mouth smells.

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Honestly, sir, get a life. Don’t look at it. Move to the mountains. Read the Constitution. But please, don’t waste anyone’s time with your complaints about this decal!!!!! As reported by Great Falls Tribune (Montana):

Brian Smith is tired of coming home from work to see what he calls pornography [see above] staring him in the face from across the alley.

Smith, who lives on the 1600 block of 1st Avenue North, said the problem began when he noticed a large decal on the back window of a car in the parking lot of Quality Life Concepts. The decal is a white silhouette of a naked woman.

“To me, this has crossed the line,” he said.

What does the decal’s owner think?

Offensive or not, Shanna Weaver, who owns the car and decal in question, said it’s her right to display the picture.

“It’s my freedom of speech, which he can’t take away,” Weaver said. “It’s no different than the mud flaps that you see on trucks.”

What do you have to say to that, sir [other than that you want all those mud flaps on trucks across the country removed]?

Smith feels differently. There are certain parts of the body in that silhouette that neither he nor his wife, Louise, like to look at when they pull into their garage directly across from Quality of Life Concepts, where Weaver works — and parks.

“My upbringing dictates that the human body is a sacred thing, not something that should be put on display,” Smith said.

Perhaps your upbringing would have been aided with a dose of tolerance. With such disparate views on the subject, could they work this out?

Smith and Weaver confirmed in separate interviews that Smith talked to Weaver about the decal, telling her that he didn’t like looking at it and asking if she could back her car into her parking spot or park it somewhere else where the decal didn’t face his house. Weaver initially agreed, honoring Smith’s request for one day. The next day, the decal was back in Smith’s view.

Although The Juice prefers to back in, good for her! But that wasn’t the end of it for Mr. Smith.

That’s when Smith wondered if he could take his complaint to the police. Smith’s point of view is that the sticker on the back of Weaver’s car is pornography, and it should be illegal to display it in public.

A police officer dispatched to check out the decal determined that the illustration didn’t fit the city or state’s statute defining obscenity. The legal spat between Smith and Weaver never made it past a complaint with the Great Falls Police Department …

You can read more (a lot) here.