Articles Posted in Extra Pulp

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You may be wondering: “Can you break that?” Unfortunately for Mr. Doe, the answer is “yes.” And yes, it gave rise (sorry) to a lawsuit. The case, out of Massachusetts, is John Doe v. Mary Doe.

Facts. The summary judgment record, viewed in the light most favorable to the plaintiff, Coveney v. President & Trustees of the College of the Holy Cross, 388 Mass. 16 , 17 (1983), establishes the following facts. The plaintiff and the defendant were in a long-term committed relationship. Early in the morning of September 24, 1994, they were engaged in consensual sexual intercourse. The plaintiff was lying on his back while the defendant was on top of him. The defendant’s body was secured in this position by the interlocking of her legs and the plaintiff’s legs. At some point, the defendant unilaterally decided to unlock her legs and place her feet on either side of the plaintiff’s abdomen for the purpose of increasing her stimulation. When the defendant changed her position, she did not think about the possibility of injury to the plaintiff. Shortly after taking this new position, the defendant landed awkwardly on the plaintiff, thereby causing him to suffer a penile fracture.

Yeowwwwwwwwwwww! So, did Mr. Doe make the case that Ms. Doe negligently broke his, well, you know? Nope. You can read the opinion here.

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Q: Who has ever even heard of “rabbit phobia”? A: All of Germany, and with the help of The Juice, the entire world! As reported by Spiegel Online:

In Germany, drawing rabbits on the blackboard can land you in court. A schoolteacher has made nationwide headlines by filing a lawsuit against a 16-year-old pupil who allegedly did just that. The girl is also accused of claiming that the teacher had a rabbit phobia…

As school pranks go, drawing rabbits on the blackboard may seem rather tame. But it has triggered a court case in the northern German town of Vechta where an outraged school teacher filed a legal complaint against the alleged offender, a 16-year-old schoolgirl, and accused her of spreading the vicious rumor that she suffered from rabbit phobia.

Marion V., who teaches German and Geography, refuses to say if she is actually afraid of rabbits. But [Juice Exhibit A] when she walked into the classroom and spotted the drawing on the board she burst into tears and fled.

[Juice Exhibit B] She was so furious that she accused one pupil of defamation. The court must decide whether the pupil did indeed hound the teacher, or if the legal action is an overreaction.

In a nutshell:

“The plaintiff, a teacher, teaches the accused pupil at a high school in Vechta and claims the pupil drew rabbits on the blackboard of the classroom and told fellow pupils the teacher was afraid of rabbits and ‘flips out’ when she sees a rabbit,” the court said in a statement.

“The teacher demands that the accused refrains in future from drawing rabbits on the blackboard and claiming that she, the teacher, is afraid of rabbits and flips out at the sight of them.”

Could there really be a legal basis for this case? Well, one is claimed …

The court said the lawsuit refers to the “infringement of general personal rights according to §823 Clause 1 of the Civil Code in conjunction with Article 2 Clause 1 of the Constitution.”

What about the poor girl?

The defendant, named only as Kim, came to court with her mother. Media reports said she looked shy and sheepish during the hearing. She said: “I didn’t draw the rabbit. I know the teacher from my previous school where she also gave lessons. All I did was tell another pupil that she used to run out of the classroom whenever she saw a drawing of a rabbit.”

[Juice Exhibit C] Marion V. has been off work ever since the incident, media reports said. She wants the court to forbid Kim from drawing rabbits and to stop telling other pupils that she suffers from rabbit phobia and goes nuts at the sight of the animals.

Kim’s mother is outraged. “The teacher didn’t talk to me before she filed the complaint. My daughter has had rabbit stress all year because of this. You can’t treat kids like this,” she told reporters after the 30-minute hearing on Tuesday, the second trial day, Bild newspaper reported. The first trial day was on April 27.

Juice Exhibit D …

This is the second time Marion V. has taken a pupil to court for a rabbit offense. The first case in 2008 ended with a settlement in which the pupil concerned agreed to stop claiming that teacher got a fit, started crying, shouting or fleeing the classrom whenever she saw a rabbit or even when she heard the word “rabbit,” the court said in a statement.

And if Kim loses?

Media reports speculate that if Kim is found guilty of drawing the rabbit, she will face a €5,000 [$6,521.50 US] fine if she ever does it again.

Shazam! What do you think the Judge decided?

A German teacher has lost a defamation suit Tuesday in which she claims that a 16-year-old student spread vicious rumors saying that she has a rabbit phobia. The court case, which triggered nationwide headlines, was dismissed on the grounds that the student proved the teacher’s phobia as fact.

Here’s the original story and the post-verdict story.

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There’s an old saying:”If it seems too good to be true, it is.” There’s another old saying: “There’s an exception to every rule.” Here’s an exception, as reported by Reuters:

Standing in the aptly chosen “Frohsinnstrasse” (“Cheerfulness Street”) in the town of Aschaffenburg, the unnamed pensioner wore a sign around his neck explaining his philanthropy: “I am not unemployed or homeless. I have a wife. I am well. That’s why I’d like to give you a euro.”

A passer-by who feared the pensioner was running a scam alerted police, who were surprised at the man’s explanation that he merely wanted to share his happiness at retiring.

[Note: The passer-by also enjoys hunting golden-egg-laying geese.]

After explaining himself, the pensioner was allowed to continue his generous retirement celebrations, because after all there’s no law against giving away your own money to passing strangers, according to local police.

Really? There’s no law against just giving money away money? Shocking. Here’s the source.

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This gent certainly had the element of surprise on his side. The wannabe car thief was not prepared for this contingency [per The Daily Telegraph] …

Russell Stuart, 51, was asleep in his home in Dymchurch, Kent, when he heard his Peugeot 405 being started up in his driveway in the early hours of the morning.

He leapt out of bed and raced out of his front door before opening the passenger door and getting in alongside the would-be thief.

Crazy? Like a fox …

The father of two said the man flung the door open and ran off into the night as soon as he spotted “a big naked bloke” sitting next to him.

Yikes.

He said: “I just got out of bed and ran to my car, opened the passenger door and sat down. “I said to him ‘All right mate – where are we going then?’ and he just jumped out of the car and legged it.”

Pansy.

Mr Stuart, a technician at the Dungeness power station, said: “I don’t know what the guy must have thought when a large naked bloke got in the car next to him, but when your car is being stolen you don’t think about it, you just react. “I’ll never forget the look on his face, though, it was a peach.”

Here’s the source.

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A big “shout out” from The Juice to Mr. John Long of Loxahatchee, Florida for the assist (along with, or course, the Sun Sentinel) in further entrenching “legal juice” into our lexicon. How did he do this? Here’s how, as reported by the Sun Sentinel:

[Mr.] Long … is the alleged orange juice burglar, suspected of breaking into three Wellington homes Sunday night while residents were inside and stealing orange juice, reports WPTV News in West Palm Beach.

The Sun Sentinel went on to say (drum roll please) …

Now he’ll need a little legal juice.

Yes! Yes! Yes! I, er, I mean The Juice has arrived! … The Juice would like to thank the Academy, and everyone who has worked to make Legal Juice what it is today (whatever that is) …

But back to the story. Why steal OJ? Well …

“He did some ecstasy and PCP and hasn’t been right since. He’s having delusions of grandeur and other issues,” his father Vincent Long told WPTV News.

Here is the story of the century (for obvious, very Juicy reasons). (In all seriousness, please note that The Juice is basking in this worldwide recognition, not denigrating Mr. Long.)

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The queen of the McNuggets. The Juice blogged about Ms. Dushane previously, but at the time, the video of the incident had not been released. It has now, and here it is:

As reported by The Toledo Blade:

The video was made public, according to the Lucas County prosecutor’s office, because Dushane did not appeal her July 7 sentencing by Lucas County Common Pleas Judge Linda Jennings to three years probation and 60 days in the Corrections Center of Northwest Ohio.

She was ordered to pay $1,531.97 in restitution. Dushane pleaded no contest May 11 to one count of vandalism at McDonald’s, 90 Main St.

The video shows her throwing a bottle through the drive-through window, which she then further breaks with a fist. She later admitted she was drunk.

Her quest began New Year’s Day in the drive-through at the McDonald’s, where she’d gone for chicken McNuggets. By her arrival, though, breakfast items – not McNuggets – were being served.

You can read a fair amount more here.

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How can you entice men to go to something, like say, church? In a word – strippers. There’s some crazy stuff going on in Warsaw, Ohio… From The Columbus Dispatch:

Every weekend for the last four years, [Pastor Bill] Dunfee and members of his ministry have stood watch over [strip-club owner Tommy] George’s joint, taking up residence in the right of way with signs, video cameras and bullhorns in hand. They videotape customers’ license plates and post them online, and they try to save the souls of anyone who comes and goes.

Can they do that?

George … sued the church in federal court several years ago, claiming a violation of his constitutional rights, but he lost.

Okay, Plan B ….

Now, the dancers have turned the tables, so to speak. Fed up with the tactics of Dunfee and his flock, they say they have finally accepted his constant invitation to come to church.

It’s just that they’ve come wearing see-through shorts and toting Super Soakers.

They bring lawn chairs and – yesterday, anyway – grilled hamburgers, Monster energy drinks and corn on the cob.

How do the parties view this battle of wills?

[Dunfee] said their presence has united his church members and reinvigorated their mission to shut down the club.

“They have now seen the evil firsthand,” Dunfee said. “This has just made us stronger.”

George laughed at that notion.

“They’re just mad,” he said, “because their wives won’t let them come to my club.”

You can read a lot more about the dueling protests (and see photos) here.

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This is one dude whose car you better not screw up, or else … Or else what? Here’s what, per the Orlando Sentinel:

A convicted felon is accused of battering an Orlando mechanic because of dissatisfaction with the mechanic’s work.

Yikes. And it wasn’t just any old [alleged] battery.

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Sure, it was a big blow to Cleveland Cavaliers fans when LeBron announced that he was headed south. But really, how upset can you get? Pretty upset, judging from this dude. From the Strongsville Ohio Police Blotter:

SUSPICIOUS SITUATION, MEADOW LANE: A Strongsville man was advised by police last Thursday evening after he got a little too emotional about LeBron James’ defection to the Miami Heat.

A scared resident called police at 11 p.m. because she heard a man yelling in the woods behind her home. The woman told police the man sounded like he was in distress.

When police arrived, they found the Strongsville man in an agitated state. He was highly intoxicated and he said he was upset about James’ decision to leave the Cleveland Cavaliers. Police advised the man to go home and calm down.

The Juice has an idea of how this gent might channel all that emotion – Heat-hating.

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A clever theft job in which nobody is hurt is much easier to swallow than, well, a crime like this one out of Australia. Per The Courier-Mail:

About 2am, the offenders kicked in the windows of the Coffee Club in the Home Centre on Springwood and dragged a hefty safe out of the store. Police believe they used ropes to hook the safe up to their vehicle and then drove off, dragging the safe behind them.

So inconspicuous. Brilliant!

But the plans came unstuck when the car performed a u-turn and the safe “flicked” into a culvert.

Despite attempting to hide it with cardboard and some old tyre, a passer-by noticed the safe [essentially intact] before the baddies could return and reported it to police.

These guys are good. Incredibly, they have not yet been caught. Who thinks that day won’t be far off? [The Juice has his hand raised.]

Detectives will examine CCTV footage today in the hope of identifying the culprits.

CCTV!