Articles Posted in Extra Pulp

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There’s not enough money in the world … Per The Courier & Mail:

French police say they have arrested a 63-year-old woman who was leading her 40-year-old companion along a busy shopping street by a leash attached to his exposed penis.

The couple were detained on Wednesday afternoon in the southwestern city of Carcassonne and were due to appear in court in April on charges of public indecency.

The couple admitted to being sex addicts and said they were in the middle of a game when arrested, police said on Thursday.

Only in France (until The Juice hears otherwise). And if you do hear otherwise, let The Juice know so he can create a new category (e.g. “Say What?“, “Just Weird“, “Odd Cases“) …

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If you have a son, or know someone who has a son, or have even a tenuous connection to popular culture, then you know how many young males play Xbox LIVE. (It allows gamers to play with other gamers, online, and to talk with each other.) So, why did The Juice warn you not to let your son read this? As reported by wbaltv.com:

Police said a California woman was arrested Friday after she allegedly befriended a 13-year-old Maryland boy on the Internet and traveled to his home to have sex.

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The Juice is confident this kid wishes he was just playing with matches and burned himself. Why? Because, while playing with a gun, he shot himself in the … As reported by The Orlando Sentinel:

An Orlando teen begged police to call an ambulance late Saturday after shooting himself in the testicles, according to police reports.

“I shot myself by accident,” the 17-year-old boy said. “Get an ambulance.”

Yikes. And how exactly did you do that?

The unidentified teenager was lying on his bed, watching TV and playing with a 9 mm. pistol about 8:30 p.m. when it fired. “I was trying to tie the gun around my leg,” he said, describing the accidental discharge to officers.

While it was loaded? Dude! Adding insult to – ouch! – injury:

The police department is recommending that the Orange-Osceola State Attorney’s Office charge the victim with unlawful possession of a firearm by a minor and unlawful discharge of a firearm.

Here’s the source.

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Under virtually any scenario, this lady would have gotten away with stealing (not borrowing – she didn’t return it) a neighbor’s shovel to dig out her car after the Chicago snowstorm. Unfortunately for her, the gent she stole the shovel from is in the video equipment business (think “surveillance cameras” – lots of them). So, having reviewed his footage and having seen it all go down, as you can below, he got his revenge (also included in the clip below).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hkAJ-CQvkwA

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He did! Listen to the 911 call [above]. So what happened after the call? As reported by The Hartford Courant:

Dispatchers traced the call to 192 Waterville Road, the home of Robert J. Michelson.

He told narcotics officers who visited his home that he had spent a lot of money online buying everything he needed to grow marijuana. He had one small plant at home, along with seeds and equipment for growing, police said.

Michelson also had drug paraphernalia for personal use.

If this was an attempted candor pander, it failed.

He was charged with possession of drug paraphernalia, illegal cultivation of marijuana, possession of a controlled substance and possession of drug paraphernalia in a drug factory.

Michelson was brought to Farmington police headquarters where he was released on $5,000 bond. Police said he was cooperative with officers, but made an obscene gesture at the dispatchers.

Yeah, it was all the dispatcher’s fault. Here’s the source.

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Just remember that you heard it here first: If you call a spade a spade, it’s a spade for certain purposes if you think it is, even if it’s really not. Confused? So, most likely, are the New York women who are referred to as “prostitutes” by Johnny Law because a man thought they were (they weren’t). As reported in North County Now (New York):

Robert E. Millar, 60, offered two females money in exchange for sex Monday morning at about 10:15, troopers said, and squeezed the buttocks of one of the females.

Millar has been charged with two counts of patronizing a prostitute and one count of forcible touching. The females were not prostitutes and did not accept any money, and state police explained that the law uses the word “prostitute” for anyone who is solicited to engage in sexual conduct.

Feel better ladies? Didn’t think so. Here’s the source.

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How would you like your books today – with syrup, catchup, or mayonnaise? A library in Boise, Idaho had a real problem because someone kept dumping condiments in the book-drop. The perp was finally caught after a surveillance system was installed. And yes, she did get jail time. Why did she do it? She was retaliating against the library for being banned from entering it. As reported by The Idaho Statesman:

Joy L. Cassidy was taken away in handcuffs Friday after pleading guilty to misdemeanor malicious injury to property.

The special prosecutor hadn’t pushed for jail time, and Cassidy’s attorney said she needed weekly counseling that had helped her with anger-management and other issues.

But Judge Kevin Swain sentenced her to serve at least 27 days in jail. “Judge Swain sent a message today that people who engage in the kind of conduct that Ms. Cassidy engaged in will not be tolerated,” said Special Prosecutor Tim Fleming of the Canyon County Prosecutor’s Office. “You’re going to go to jail.”

Cassidy’s sentencing was the final chapter in one of the more bizarre crimes in Boise in recent years. When she was arrested after dumping syrup, ketchup and mayonnaise into a library book-drop, many wondered what her motive was — other than to destroy public property and create a gooey mess.

It came out in court on Friday that Cassidy, 75, was retaliating for being banned from the Ada Community Library in 2007 because of conflicts she’d had with the staff and other patrons.

“The library was the one place that she went in a social setting where she had contact with people,” Cassidy’s attorney, Gabriel McCarthy, told Judge Swain. “It broke her heart when she couldn’t go back. And it’s something she couldn’t let go.”

In spring 2009, Cassidy dumped maple syrup in the box, the first of more than 10 acts of vandalism over the course of the next year, according to police and library officials. The library spent about $1,000 on a surveillance system to finally catch her.

10+? That’s a serious grudge. You can read more (a fair amount) here.

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If this dude decides to remain in the relationship, he would be well-advised to have a pack of cigarettes on hand at all times, and be willing to share them. As reported by The Morning Call (Allentown):

Bethlehem police said a woman went on a rampage Monday night when her boyfriend denied her a cigarette and attacked him with a steak knife.

Linda Sellers, 55, is charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, simple assault, reckless endangerment, terroristic threats, harassment and possessing an instrument of crime. Sellers, of 714 Hayes St., is in Northampton County Prison under $750,000 bail.

Yikes. Here’s the official police version:

Officers were called to the home for a report of a woman yelling. Sellers answered the door and said, “Oh, good. It’s the (expletive) police!”

Police said Sellers pointed to Camilleri, who was sitting on the couch holding a steak knife he had wrestled away from her, and told the officer she was going to kill him.

Camilleri told police he was sleeping on the couch when Sellers awoke him and asked for a cigarette. When he told her to buy her own, police said Sellers threw items around the apartment and overturned a glass coffee table.

Sellers went into the kitchen, grabbed a steak knife and attacked Camilleri, police said. He suffered three cuts on the top of his head and was treated and released from St. Luke’s Hospital-Fountain Hill, police said.

Here’s the source.

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Sure, there are more delicate ways to say this. But regular readers know The Juice prefers the blunt approach. So … The governing administration in Malawi is proposing legislation that would outlaw farting in public! Truth! As reported by afrik-news.com:

The Bingu wa Mutharika led administration is to introduce a raft of legislation that seeks to criminalize an everyday natural occurrence of “passing gas” with the intention to “mold responsible and discipl[ined] citizens.”

Certainly a fair amount of discipline would be involved …

The Local Courts Bill of 2010, according to Malawi media reports, is to be presented in the forthcoming Parliament sitting by Minister of Justice, George Chaponda. The bill, reports say, also deals with citizens who hinder the burial of dead bodies as well as people who pretend to be fortune tellers.

Is there any opposition?

Mr. John Tembo’s [he’s the leader of the opposition party] criticism of the bill is believed to have stricken a chord with local critics who argue that the capacity of the local justice system to handle the expected influx of cases is questionable.

And this, from an anonymous citizen:

Commenting on the bill, a Malawian is quoted as saying: “How can this government criminalise the release of intestinal gases …. Everyone does that, even if it’s in public or it has an accompanying sound which is boring, making it criminal is a joke of democracy.”

Any supporters out there? At least one.

Another [Malawian] said he “support(s) the bill and is welcome. Sometimes breaking wind in public or during meetings is a disturbance of the peace”.

Since the anti-flatulence provision is only part of the proposed bill, perhaps it’s removal would take the wind (oh!) out of the opposition’s sails. Here’s the source.

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Seriously, if the guy is really a magician, how’d he get caught? Case dismissed! As reported by The Arab Times:

The Abdali police have arrested a 65-year-old Iraqi man for attempting to sneak into the country to practice black magic, reports Al-Shahed daily. 
The magician was spotted between unidentified farms and Abdali border post. Police spotted the man and seized from him magic tools. 
The suspect has been referred to the authorities.

Black magic? Please.