Articles Posted in Extra Pulp

Squeezed on:

By

stupid%20question%20idiotic.jpg

How can The Juice be sure that “the question” was actually asked? Because he heard it himself, today. He was listening to a painfully long recorded statement taken before he was retained [DON’T GIVE THEM!] in an automobile accident case. Remember, this question was asked DURING A RECORDED STATEMENT. So, in the 25th minute [!!!], the following was asked of the accident victim:

Is the recording true and correct to the best of your knowledge?

HOW THE HELL WOULD HE KNOW, GENIUS? YOU ARE IN THE PROCESS OF MAKING THE RECORDING! And she was clearly reading from an idiotic insurance company script! If you know of a more idiotic question posed in the context of a legal claim or case, let The Juice know!

Squeezed on:

By

b-word%20bword%20the%20letter%20b.jpg
No, the “B” bomb this kid dropped wasn’t “bitch.” It was “bomb.” In this post-Columbine, post-9/11 world, that can cost you – big time. As reported by the Northwest Florida Daily News:

A 14-year-old boy was arrested Monday after telling his Walton Academy teacher that his phone battery was a bomb and then asking if the teacher “was ready.”

Brilliant! Certainly there will be no consequences…

Continue reading →
Squeezed on:

By

cash%20money%20pile%20stack%20dollars%20benjamins.jpg

Well, this is one of the most one-way relationships ever. As in, a truckload of money went one way, and “virtually” nothing went the other way … As reported by The Naperville Sun

A Naperville man is out $200,000 after wiring money to an online girlfriend he didn’t realize was a fake.

NOOOOO! 200,000 clams! And it would have continued, had the scammer not overdone it.

The 48-year-old man called Naperville police at 6:57 p.m. Wednesday to ask for help in rescuing the woman, whom he believed had been kidnapped in London, according to a police report.

He told police he started the relationship online 2 1/2 years ago. During that time, the man wired about $200,000 total to several different bank accounts in Nigeria, Malaysia, England and the United States, according to the police report.

An identification card the woman provided to the man was a sample driver’s license from Florida, the report said. According to the report, when the officer stated the female did not exist, the man “was in disbelief.”

Hopefully he has some cash left, and stays off the internet … Here’s the source.

Squeezed on:

By

flying%20shoe%20fly%20flies.jpg

This gent was just minding his own business, enjoying the show, when a dancer’s shoe flew through the air and nailed him in the mouth, busting his tooth! Kinda ruined the show … and his teeth, at least according to the lawsuit he filed against the strip club. As reported by The Indianapolis Star:

According to a lawsuit filed Wednesday in Marion Superior Court, 34-year-old Jake Quagliaroli was sitting about 20 feet from the stage at PT’s Showclub, 7916 Pendleton Pike, earlier this month when a dancer’s shoe flew off in the middle of her performance.

The shoe allegedly hit Quagliaroli in the face, chipping his front teeth.

He had to get veneers and temporary caps as a result of his injuries. The veneers will have to be replaced every 10 to 15 years, and he might need a root canal in the future, his attorney said.

He’s claiming battery and negligence and is asking a jury to determine appropriate damages.

You can read more (a fair amount) here.

Squeezed on:

By

rollator%20walker%20rollatorrs%20walkers.gif
That older man over there, do you know what he used to do? He looks vulnerable, but … A couple of young men learned that a certain 62-year-old still has it. As reported by TheLocal.se:

Gray-haired and requiring the use of a rollator to get around, Rolf Klasson certainly didn’t give the impression that he would put up a fight when two young men approached him on Tuesday in central Lidköping.

Klasson was about to take out money from a cash machine when one of the hoodlums demanded the elderly gentlemen give up his wallet, while the other brandished a knife, the local Nya-Lidköpings Tidning (NLT) reported.

Continue reading →
Squeezed on:

By

gross%20sign.jpg

Please, if you are prone to being grossed out, stop here. Remember, The Juice warned you. So, it started with what appeared to be a routine suspected DUI. Then it got weird, and gross. As reported by The Durango Herald (Colorado):

According to an arrest affidavit, the events began at 11:59 p.m. Feb. 11 when a Durango Police Department officer observed a vehicle turn right onto 32nd Street from Main Avenue without using a turn signal.

The officer, Chad Langley, pulled Kausalik [a 31-year veteran of the U.S. Postal Service who has been in Durango since 1982] over …

While speaking to Kausalik, the officer detected alcohol on his breath, according to the affidavit. Kausalik said he had not been drinking.

Kausalik performed voluntary roadside maneuvers, but not to Langley’s satisfaction, the affidavit says.

A preliminary breath test indicated he had a blood-alcohol level of 0.142, almost three times the 0.05 legal driving limit in Colorado.

Fairly routine stop thus far. Man appears to be drunk, smells of alcohol, denies drinking, fails field sobriety test, fails initial BAC test.

Langley arrested Kausalik and took him to the Durango police station … for a formal breath test.

Please, not the formal breath test…

At the station, Kausalik asked to use the restroom. Officer Langley twice found Kausalik asleep in the restroom.

He told Kausalik he could not stay in the restroom all night to avoid the breath test, and he needed to either take the test or choose a refusal.

Actually, there is another option, which could be considered a refusal of sorts …

Kausalik eventually left the bathroom looking at the floor, walking toward the officer.

Langley asked Kausalik what was in his mouth, and he continued to walk toward the officer, head down and expressionless.

When Kausalik was about 4 feet from the officer, Kausalik looked up, opened his mouth and took a deep breath.

“As I observed what he had in his mouth, I took a step back and began turning my head as he violently spit the contents of his mouth toward my face,” officer Langley wrote in the affidavit. “I felt the matter [FECES!!!!!] strike the left side of my face and head.” Kausalik also had feces on his hands, the affidavit says.

If you’re not completely grossed out, check your pulse. You can read the full story here.

Squeezed on:

By

gun%20pointed%20at%20you%20in%20your%20face%20aim%20aimed%20pistol%20handgun.jpg
THEY TRIED TO ROB A GUN STORE – WITH AN OPENLY-ARMED EMPLOYEE. Who does that? And the kicker? These gents lost $40 in the process. As reported The Kansas City Star:

It all started about 2 p.m. when one of the robbers came into Guns Unlimited, 8113 N. Oak Trafficway, and asked for a box of .357 Magnum ammunition. The clerk told him it would cost about $50. The man, who looked to be in his 20s, said he needed to get more money and left.

Note that the clerk told him the cost would be “about $50.” So what does the dude do? He comes back with $40!

Continue reading →
Squeezed on:

By

As a regular bicycle rider (and commuter), The Juice must confess that, if he lived in Florida, he would be a serial offender of this absolutely ridiculous law. And yes, it’s still on the books.

Title XXIII – MOTOR VEHICLES – Chapter 316 – STATE UNIFORM TRAFFIC CONTROL

316.2065 – Bicycle regulations.

Continue reading →
Squeezed on:

By

transvestite%20transvestites%20tranny%20trannies.jpg

Either these gents did an amazing job with their make-up and clothes, or their pursuer was looking through some mega-thick beer goggles, or both. Regardless, he could’ve handled the discovery that the ladies were gents a little better. As reported by The Marco Eagle:

Josue A. Hernandez, 27, of an unknown Immokalee address, according to reports, was at a bar on Boston Avenue in Immokalee when he learned the people he was socializing with and purchased drinks for, which he believed to be female, “were in fact men dressed in women’s clothing,” according to deputies. He then became irate, breaking bottles, starting fights with other customers and causing a disturbance, deputies said.

A large, fixed-blade, hunting-type knife was discovered in Hernandez’s waistband. The knife, which had a wooden handle and a 6-inch blade, was hidden under his shirt, according to reports. The knife is the kind “normally used for the skinning and gutting of deer and other large animals and was in no way a common pocket knife based on its blade length and design,” deputies said.

Fortunately, it appears he kept the knife sheathed. The charges?

Hernandez was arrested shortly before 1 a.m. Saturday and charged with disorderly intoxication and carrying a concealed weapon.

With all that bottle-breaking and fighting, he probably blew his shot at just plain “orderly intoxication.” Here’s the source, including a photo of the accused.