It’s unlikely you’ll ever read another story like this. An inmate trying to stop guards from fighting? Actually, there’s a simple explanation: the dude liked the guards. As reported by The Buffalo News:
An inmate at the Erie County Correctional Facility lost a tooth last week when he intervened in a fight between two corrections officers scrapping over a bag of chips, prison personnel told The Buffalo News.
A bag of chips?!
(No, not in the book.) Warning: This post is not suitable for children. And The Juice isn’t just saying that to pique your interest. You will not believe this woman’s hiding place. As reported by The News-Press:
A Pompano Beach woman is in custody at the Lee County Jail for possession of a counterfeit driver’s license and a fraudulent credit card, which she allegedly hid inside her vagina.
Shazam!
What’s next? Tasing every pulled-over motorist before requesting a license and registration? For god’s sake man, you don’t have to tase someone just because you can! Here’s a ridiculous story out of Cincinnati, as reported by WKRC:
A St. Paris, Ohio man, not even registered in the Flying Pig Marathon, caused quite a commotion at the race Sunday morning.
Not registered? Tase him!
When a 51-year-old daughter wants to do something nice for her 80-year-old father, it’s a good thing. All agreed? Okay, what if the “thing” is hooking the father up with a prostitute? The Juice’s opinion remains unchanged. As reported by abcactionnews.com:
The pair, who listed their hometown as Dubuque, Iowa, were arrested on Nebraska Avenue, an area of Tampa known for prostitution activity.
Welcome to Tampa, Iowans!
According to the arrest affidavit, 51-year-old Pia Kirchberg offered an undercover police officer $20 if she would have sex with Kirchberg’s elderly father.
Both Pia Kirchberg and 80-year-old Maurice Kirchberg were charged with soliciting for prostitution.
“Prostitution is illegal. It doesn’t matter how old you are,” said police spokeswoman Laura McElroy.”If we catch you trying to solicit a prostitute you’re going to jail.”
With all due respect, wrong!. No judge or jury is going to send an 80-year-old man to jail for seeking companionship, however fleeting. Here’s the source, with mug shots.
If someone calls the cops on their spouse, chances are it’s going to be for a good reason. This case, out of Fort Wayne, Indiana, is no exception. As reported by WANE:
According to a Fort Wayne Police Department report, when an officer arrived at the 517 Lawton Place apartment, Elizabeth Gibson said she and her husband Kelly had been in an argument and he had gone upstairs to huff paint.
Wait, so that’s not the way most domestic arguments end?
The report said since she was afraid to go inside, she handed the officer her keys and followed him up.
When the officer opened the door, the entire apartment smelled of paint fumes and Kelly was found sitting on the couch with his shirt off, and his hands, mouth, nose and chin covered in silver paint.
And in case you don’t think that evidence is damning enough …
Police said Kelly had a can of silver spray paint in his right hand and a paint-covered plastic bag in his left.
The officer said Kelly had a dazed, glassy-eyed look about him and was unsteady on his feet.
Kelly was taken to the Allen County Jail and charged with inhaling toxic vapors.
So, regarding the title of the post:
This incident was the 48th time Kelly was charged with inhaling since 1992.
Yikes. Here’s the source, including the mug shot. Get this man some help.
Well, it wasn’t supposed to be free. In fact, the store wasn’t even supposed to be open. But when you rely on computers too much, well, here’s what can happen, as reported by 3news.co.nz:
A security system computer glitch is being blamed for the doors opening and the lights coming on at a Hamilton supermarket, allowing a number of people to go in and help themselves to stock on Good Friday.
A very “good” Friday for those light-fingered folks …
The central city Pak ‘n Save was open for more than eight hours from 1am until someone rang police saying people were leaving the shop with “truckloads of groceries”, the Waikato Times reported.
How did this happen?
Owner Glenn Miller said he suspected the fault was linked to a command cancelling the normal opening time for the day. Usually the supermarket opens at 8am every day but the shop was meant to stay closed for Good Friday.
An embarrassed Mr Miller said he did not know how much stock was taken but he was delighted that 12 people had used the self-service tills to pay for items.
Wow. Delighted about 12 honest people? That is truly sad. If you want to read more (a fair amount) here’s the Waikato Times article.
Like everyone else (except the perps), The Juice is pleased when drunk drivers make things easy for the fuzz. As reported by The Beacon-News (Illinois):
A 43-year-old Oswego woman was charged with drunken driving after police responded to calls about a woman throwing up out of her car at 6:40 p.m. Monday near Ashlawn Avenue and Circle Drive West, Oswego police said. Officers found the car driving in the 0-99 block of West Jefferson Street. Tessy Callas, of the 0-99 block of West Jefferson Street, Oswego, was also charged with illegal transportation of liquor, police said.
Other than vomiting, what else do drunk people do? Here’s a hint: zzzzzzzzzz.
Selina Nieto, 33, of the 200 block of Abbeywood Lane, North Aurora, was charged with drunken driving last week after police were called for a woman asleep at the gas pumps in the 500 block of Montgomery Road, police said Monday.
Pranks are funny. But really, the only person who can prank a cop is … another cop. Tell it to these folks in Houston. As reported by khou.com …
Harris County deputies said they were initially called to a home in the 13600 block of Treebank Thursday night after reports of a domestic disturbance.
The deputies said they spoke with a couple who was in the home, resolved the situation and left.
But then, around 7 a.m. Friday, deputies received another call from the home.
When officers responded, they said they found the front door cracked open, so they went inside.
You might not want to …
… as they pushed the door open, a bucket fell on one of the deputies, and the others were splashed with liquid.
Alright, where are ya?!
The deputies called for backup, explaining that a bucket full of an unknown substance had fallen on them, and they were unsure if there were other traps in the home.
Other deputies and a bomb squad swarmed the scene. At one point, deputies drew their guns and surrounded the home. The bomb squad checked the home for other traps, but found none.
Whoa there. So what happened after all that?
In the end, though, deputies determined that the bucket was just full of water. No one was injured.
And the perps?
The occupants of the home were nowhere to be found, and no arrests were made.
Here’s the source.
How is it possible for a 32-year-old man to get busted for underage drinking? Here’s how: Commit the crime [allegedly] when you are underage, then let a few years go by. Doh! As reported by The Hunterdon County Democrat (New Jersey):
Patrolman Tim McGuire stopped on Route 513 by the Route 78 interchange to help with a disabled vehicle Monday around 7:30 p.m.
Ummm … Thanks Officer, but I’m good?
A computer check on the license of driver Philip Rowles, of Ridley Park, Pa., turned up two arrest warrants issued by Camden City Municipal Court and Woolwich Joint Court in Gloucester County, police said. One warrant was for failing to appear on a previous traffic summons for driving without insurance, the other for possession of alcohol by a person while under the legal age.
Once again reinforcing the notion that, if you just ignore your troubles, they’ll go away! Poof! Here’s the source.
If you’ve never been mad at your parents, then …There’s really no need to finish that sentence.
But have you ever attacked one of your parents? While the parent was driving? Who would do that? Well … per the Northwest Florida Daily News:
A 16-year-old girl was riding in the passenger seat attacking her mother while she was driving, according to a Nicevile Police report.
Legal Juice