Articles Posted in Best Of

Now imagine – if you can – a law that both Bill O’Reilly and Keith Olbermann would agree goes too far. That law outlaws throwing snowballs! And the offending municipality is … Grand Forks, North Dakota. Here’s the law:

9-0123. Throwing rocks, snowballs, and other objects.

(1) It is unlawful for any person to throw or cast, or encourage, aid or assist others in throwing or casting any rock, stone, snowball, or other object into, upon, against, or at any building, structure, automobile street, alley, or other public or private property.

(2) It is unlawful for any person to throw or cast, or encourage, aid or assist others in throwing or casting any rock, stone, snowball, or other object upon or at any person or persons. (Ord. No. 4125, § XIX, 3-20-06)

They have outlawed snowball fights! And even throwing a snowball at ANYTHING! Absurd.

And what about this: you would also technically be breaking the law if you skipped a stone (or a rock!) in a creek. Check it out:

It is unlawful for any person to throw … any rock, stone … into …any … public or private property.

Well done! A beautifully crafted law. Click here (click on Chapter IX, then Article I, then scroll down to 9-0123) to see this wacky law.

Now, if I titled the post “Vanessa Bryant, Vanessa Bryant ….” would you know who I was talking about? No. But like Prince, Shaq, and Magic, everybody knows who Kobe is. Now they’re also going to know a little more about his wife Vanessa, thanks to a lawsuit filed by the couple’s former housekeeper, Maria Jimenez, for wrongful termination, among other things. Here are a few of the allegations from the Complaint:

Among other abusive comments, Vanessa called Maria “lazy,” “slow,” “dumb,””a fucking liar” and “fucking shit.” [expletives inserted]

On another occasion, Vanessa derided Maria after Maria said she needed to see a doctor but the Bryants had not paid for her medical insurance. “You’re a fucking liar,” Vanessa said. [expletive inserted]

Uncool, but check this, um, shit out:

On the final incident, Vanessa screamed at Maria for putting an expensive blouse in the Bryants’ clothes washer. Then Vanessa demanded that Maria put her hand in a bag of dog feces to retrieve the price tag for the blouse.

Snap! There’s PLENTY more. To view the entire Complaint, click here.

Attention all cats – WARNING: the following story may be disturbing to your kittens. As reported by wcbstv.com:

A man accused of forcing his 7-year-old daughter to stab the family cat by holding a knife in her hand has reached a plea agreement that would send him to prison for 18 months. Danield John Collins, 39, pleaded guilty Thursday to one count of domestic violence/animal cruelty and two counts of neglect of a dependent. He was being held on $40,000 bond.

If a judge accepts the plea deal, Collins will be sentenced to 18 months in prison and prosecutors will dismiss an intimidation charge. Sentencing was set for Aug. 28.

Collins was arrested March 13 after police said he forced his daughter to stab Boots, the family’s 8-month-old cat. The girl and Collins’ 11-year-old son said their father ordered them to stab the cat because he wanted them to “learn to kill.”

Police said the boy tried to hide the cat from his father, but Collins found the animal and strangled it as his children watched.

Collins said at Thursday’s hearing that he was intoxicated when the cat was killed and remembered little about that day’s events – other than falling on the cat at some point. He did not dispute his children’s account of his actions.

Perhaps Mr. Collins shouldn’t drink anymore if this is how he acts when he’s feeling uninhibited?

I don’t think there’s any doubt that Anthony Vakeva’s bird-flipping days are over. In January 2005, Mr. Vakeva flipped off Mr. Blackwell at a red light. I’m guessing he would have thought twice about doing so had he known that Blackwell was a TRAINED AMATEUR BOXER (with a very short fuse.) It didn’t end when Blackwell sucker-punched Vakeva and kicked him in the head many times. After he was arrested and released on bail, Blackwell went and shot Vakeva! He was sentenced to …. 8 years. You can read more here.

Um, a douchebag. Yeah, I’m sure I wouldn’t be too thrilled if I were featured in a book called “Hot Chicks With Douchebags.” As reported by RadarOnline, Mr. Michael Manelli was pissed enough to file a lawsuit against the publisher and Mr. Jay Louis, the author of the book and the creator of the website www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com, for including him in the book.

The lawsuit includes claims for libel, negligent infliction of emotional distress, intentional infliction of emotional distress, invasion of privacy, and loss of goodwill.

If the Guinness folks had a category for peeping toms, there is no doubt that this 46-year-old Canadian man would be in the book. (His name has not been released.) As reported at canada.com, he was arrested after “an apparent bungled break and enter.” His real purpose was soon revealed.

He was carrying a digital video camera and two tapes, which contained 23 instances of alleged voyeurism in the form of women photographed in secret, said Sgt. John Price, police spokesman.

Yes, 23 is a big number, but …

Later that day, officers searched the man’s home and found 16 additional tapes containing as much as 90 hours of footage.

Shazam! 90 hours! The good news:

“He’s been collecting material for his own use, it’s pretty unusual to see that,” said [criminology professor] Beauregard. “You would have thought you would collect such material to sell it to people or distribute it on the Internet… It looks to me like this guy is very into his own fantasies and he’s using all this material just to fulfill all his fantasies.”

Maybe that’s why the neighbors haven’t seen him in years … Here’s the link to the story.

I will forever think of this case when I hear anything about the European Court of Human Rights. As reported by The Argus:

[Hypnotherapist Imad Al-Khawaja] was convicted in 2004 of indecently assaulting two women, then aged 20 and 47, while they were hypnotised.

Al-Khawaja was handed consecutive 12-month and 15-month jail sentences after the jury returned unanimous guilty verdicts.

Said the Judge:

“This was an appalling breach of trust. You abused two vulnerable woman in your charge and under your control. You have not expressed any remorse for the distress you caused.”

About that remorse …

When a disciplinary panel met in December to decide if he should be banned from medicine, Al-Khawaja sent them a letter quoting television comedian Catherine Tate: “Look at my face, am I bothered?”

Do you have a pulse? His 2 appeals within the United Kingdom were unsuccessful. But wait! What about the European Court of Human Rights? While they didn’t overturn his convictions, they awarded him 6,000 euros (about $8,000 US) plus attorney’s fees. And why would they do that?

Because he “inevitably suffered a degree of distress and anxiety as a result” of not being able to cross examine one of his accusers, whose written statement was read to the jury, but was not able to testify in person because she committed suicide before the trial! I still can’t believe any court would give this man – who inflicted so much suffering – money for his “distress and anxiety.” Here’s the source.

Remember when a bunch of people at UCLA Medical Center snuck a peak at Brittany Spears’ electronic medical records? No? I didn’t either. Well they did. As reported by California Healthline:

The Department of Public Health said 53 employees, including 14 doctors, at UCLA Medical Center breached Spears’ records on two occasions.

They were disciplined or fired, right?

None of the physicians quit or were fired.

What what what? None of the physicians? Then the nonphysicians must have skated by too, right? Nope.

18 [nonphysician] employees resigned, retired or were dismissed after the violations were discovered, according to UCLA data.

I’m guessing this is why:

In the past, UCLA has said physicians are overseen by a group of their peers, while other employees report to the human resources department.

Lovely. Here’s the source.

So this woman (no, that’s not her, but could you resist using that picture?) crashed her car and refused a breathalyzer test. For her crime, she was sentenced to 80 hours of community service. Apparently nobody anticipated that she would show up for the community service in 4-inch heels. She was sent back to court, as the boots were deemed a health and safety hazard. What do you think should happen? Here are excerpts of the story from The Daily Mail:

Debbie Stallard was told she couldn’t do the manual work because her boots were a health and safety hazard.

The 47-year-old, from Paignton in Devon, claimed she was unable to wear flat shoes for medical reasons. ‘Since I was a little girl I have only been able to walk on the balls of my feet. Even my slippers have two and a half inch heels.

‘The long and the short of it is that I can’t wear flat shoes because of a medical condition I have had since I was a child. ‘It’s health and safety gone mad. I was made to feel stupid’.

The mother-of-two had been sentenced to 80 hours community service after she was convicted of damaging a vehicle and failing to provide a specimen of breath.

Within 10 days she arrived at the probation service’s community payback workshop in Torquay but was told her towering boots would be unsuitable for ‘the vigorous work ahead’.

The probation service took her back to court last Friday asking that the community service order be revoked and replaced with another punishment.

Judges have adjourned the case until more detailed medical reports are made available.

Probation officer Heidi Randle said: ‘She attended on the date required but was sent away because she was wearing heels. ‘We tried to contact the GP [General Practitioner] in this case and received a letter which was non-committal and does not say anything specific about wearing flats.

Starting to smell a bit?

‘It is a non-NHS [National Health Service] matter and, for a fee, he would write a more detailed report’.

Or does the doctor just want some dough?

Ms Stallard’s solicitor John Darby said: ‘My client has always lived on her toes. ‘She has always worn heels and in her last job had to sign a disclaimer so she could wear high heels to work. She can’t walk in flats.’

A spokesman for the Probation Service said: ‘We take the health and safety legislation for offenders very seriously. ‘Ms Stallard was offered protective footwear but refused to comply. We had no option but to return the order to court for magistrates to re-sentence as they see fit.’

Interesting. Here’s the source.