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Really? All this for some cigarettes? Check this out from the Pocono Record:

Two males backed a pickup truck through the front glass door of the Tobacco Road store on Route 209 in Middle Smithfield Township at 3:38 a.m. Monday, police said.

And then they took a bunch of cigarettes? Not exactly.

The males then exited the vehicle and tried to break in, but couldn’t.

Damn. Where are we going to find another closed store with a window and cigarettes at 3:40 in the morning?

They fled the scene in the vehicle and, 12 minutes later, drove the same vehicle into the front entrance of Beer Nuts in Jay Park Plaza on Route 209 in Smithfield Township. They entered that store, took cartons of cigarettes and fled the scene.

Mission accomplished. The men are still at large, no doubt puffing away.

No doubt regular readers know that The Juice is a hardcore free speech advocate. That said, surely most folks would agree that Pembroke Pines Principal Peter [damn you for not having a last name beginning with “P” !] Bayer grossly overreacted? As reported by CBS4:

On Friday, November 9th, 2007, then high school senior Katherine Evans posted a picture of her Advanced Placement English teacher, Sarah Phelps, on her page and called her “the worst teacher I’ve ever met.”

Ms. Sarah Phelps is the worst teacher I’ve ever met! To those select students who have had the displeasure of having Ms. Phelps, or simply knowing her and her insane antics: Here is the place to express your feelings of anger.

Evans created the posting after school hours and on her computer at home.

Principal Bayer suspended Ms. Evans for 3 days and “forced her into lesser honors classes.” The actual “charges?”

At the time, Bayer said Evan’s actions constituted “Bullying/Cyber Bullying Harassment towards a staff member” and “Disruptive Behavior.”

My response? WTF? NFW! Ms. Evans’ response? The ACLU filed suit on her behalf, stating that the posting ….

… was “protected off campus speech” and it didn’t contain any threats of violence, did not disrupt any school activities and “gave rise to a spirited exchange of opinions by students who disagreed with Evans, who ultimately proved her wrong in her assessment of the teacher.”

So what does she want? ” … that the three day suspension be revoked and removed from Evan’s permanent record.” Nevermind “the force.” May The Juice be with her.

Yes, of course grandparents spoil their grandchildren. Maybe a little candy from grandma, or some new clothes. But how about this: 54-year-old Brenda Bouschet was arrested after driving around a Marathon, Florida supermarket parking lot with her 3-year-old granddaughter sitting on the roof! Not to worry, said Ms. Bouschet. Per the AP, “she was driving at “snail-speed” and holding the child’s leg.” And besides, she was just doing it to give the child some air and let her have some fun. Doesn’t everyone do this sort of thing? Uh, no. Ms. Bouschet is looking at child abuse charges.

Yup, the kid was busted for farting in school, and otherwise “disrupting” his class. From TheLedger.com, here’s the story:

A student at a Florida school has been arrested after authorities say he was “passing gas” and turned off his classmates’ computers.

According to a report released Friday by the Martin County Sheriff’s Office, the 13-year-old boy “continually disrupted his classroom environment” by intentionally breaking wind. He then shut off some computers other students were using.

The Spectrum Junior-Senior High School student was arrested Nov. 4. A school resource officer placed the boy under arrest after he confessed about his behavior, according to the report. He was charged with disruption of school function and released to his mother.

To read a totally unrelated school flatulence story, click here. And for a few other flatulence stories (relating to the law, of course), click here and here.

By now just about everyone has heard of a few stupid homeowner’s association rules. But check this one out. Jim Greenwood lives in a suburb of Dallas, Texas called Frisco. More specifically, he lives in – hold your nose up, and speak nasally – Stonebriar Village. Now with his son just turning 16, old Mr. Greenwood wanted to get him a safe ride. So he dropped about $30,000 on a nicely appointed 2007 Ford F-150.

Now, if you’re thinking that the Stonebriar Village Homeowner’s Association does not allow trucks to be parked in driveways…. You would be … wrong! They just don’t allow FORD trucks [to be parked overnight, that is, in a driveway]. If Mr. Greenwood had dropped the extra coin for a Lincoln Mark LT, that would not violate the rules. What’s the difference? According to Mr. Greenwood, not much.

“It happens to come off the same assembly line in Dearborn, Mich., as the Ford F-150.”

What is the penalty for this high crime? $50 each night he’s cited for leaving the truck in the driveway overnight. It’s Texas, so you can probably guess what Mr. Greenwood decided to do.

“We’re doing the right thing now. We’re parking it in the garage.”

Yeah, that wasn’t my guess either. I’m with Austin American-Statesman writer John Kelso:

I wouldn’t call that doing the right thing. Greenwood should stick it to these snoots. After all, this is Texas. If you can’t park a new pickup in your driveway in the Lone Star State, what’s next? A ban on high school football, deer season and chicken-fried steak?

It would be harder to make this stuff up than to tell you about it. Yes, Mr. Imran Khan, or Bristol, England, filed a claim against his employer for offering wine as an incentive. Mr. Khan, a Muslim, claimed that he was a victim of racial and religious discrimination because Muslims may not drink alcohol. He asked for damages for “hurt feelings” before the employment tribunal. The result? A unanimous raspberry. Said Chairman Clive Toomer:

A teetotal non-Muslim would have been in precisely the same position as the claimant. In those circumstances it did not seem to us that the claimant could show that there was, in fact, less favourable treatment than would have been afforded to such a hypothetical comparator.

Indeed. You can read more, but not much, here.

Remember the post the other day about the doctor who got a one week suspension for having a sexual relationship with a patient? Well, Dr. Mark Blaylock got a one month suspension for … putting a picture of a government official in the trash! For real. Dr. Blaylock is the chief medical officer at the Manguzi Hospital in South Africa. It would appear that health MEC [Member of the Executive Council] Peggy Nkonyeni took great offense at this most heinous crime. So who will really suffer as a result of Dr. Blaylock’s suspension? Per allAfrica.com:

Ironically, Blaylock will make more money working as a locum doctor in the private sector during this month’s suspension than he does as a senior doctor at the rural hospital.

A hospital source who asked not to be named said that, ultimately patients would suffer most as the hospital was short-staffed and Blaylock’s skilled would be greatly missed.

They sure showed him.

At least, don’t fall asleep in Melissa Nadeau’s class. Why not? Just ask Vinicios Robacher, a 15-year-old student in Danbury, Connecticut. When Vinicios crashed, Ms. Nadeau allegedly awoke him by slamming [the palm of] her hand down on his desk so hard that it injured his left eardrum! The boy’s parents have filed papers with the Danbury town clerk, as the AP reported, which is “a prelude to a lawsuit.”

Ojai, California’s loss is Ashland, Oregon’s gain? Ms. Jennifer Moss, as reported by The Oregonian …

…often pedaled a bicycle around Ojai in a hemp G-string and flower-shaped pasties to promote Earth-friendliness.

Live and let live, right?

Her most recent misdemeanor arrest was for removing everything but her G-string and pasties in front of parishioners leaving an Easter Sunday Mass outside a Catholic church in Ojai. Stunned parishioners thought she was naked, police said.

So that’s why she left? Not really.

“Police attention was part of the reason I left …But the number one reason I left Ojai is they are not conscious enough about the air, the soil and the water. Either you get it or you don’t.”

How are things working out in Ashland?

Moss said she confirmed with police that Ashland’s laws do not prohibit public nudity. She celebrated by stripping off all of her clothes and doing a headstand right outside the police station. Then she rode her bike naked through the center of Ashland.

Here’s the source.

Here’s a very good example, per WTHR.com:

It was a day that kept getting worse for a Terre Haute man who put his car in a ditch and then tried to get it out with a “borrowed” tractor.

When officers arrived, they discovered a large farm tractor and car in a ditch, apparently after falling from the bridge. The driver of the tractor had fled the scene.

Yeah, no chance the police would figure out it was him, what with his car being in the ditch …

Troopers got a tip that the driver was hiding at a nearby farm house on Rio Grande Road. Officers went to the residence and took the driver into custody without incident.

Damn you tipster!

The driver was identified as Kevin Michael Whitesell, age 31, of Terre Haute, IN. Whitesell was taken to the Vigo County Jail. He faces charges of Driving While Intoxicated, Class A misdemeanor; and Leaving the Scene of a Property Damage Crash, Class C misdemeanor. Additional charges may be filed.

The blow-by-blow:

Police say at around 5:00 am, Whitesell crashed his 2000 Chevrolet Cavalier on Bluejay Road just west of Eppert Road. He then walked to a farm house on Rio Grande Road, approximately two miles from the scene, and obtained a 1998 John Deere 9100 Series four-wheel driver tractor.

So after walking 2 miles, it still didn’t dawn on him that this was a bad idea.

Whitesell then drove back to his car on Bluejay, hooked the overturned car to the tractor and began dragging the car (on its top) eastbound on Bluejay.

As Whitesell attempted to make a right turn onto Eppert, he lost control and drove the tractor over the west side of the bridge, dragging the car with it. The tractor was owned by Plant Farms and the owner of the car was Whitesell. Police say Whitesell was an employee of Plant Farms, but he took the tractor without his employer knowing about it.

Damn you Eppert Road!

Damage to the bridge was estimated at $10,000 to $20,000 and the tractor was valued at $150,000.

Zoinks! Here’s the source, with multiple photographs of the scene.