Articles Posted in Best Of

Why would you grow your weed outside and risk discovery when you can grow it in your house … er houses? As an added bonus, you can grow it year round. That’s exactly what some folks in New Jersey figured. Per nj.com:

Police uprooted a multimillion-dollar network of homes used to grow marijuana in the largest bust of pot production in New Jersey history… Within three days last month, police seized a total of 3,370 growing plants, 115 pounds of harvested pot and $65,000 cash.

Authorities said the total operation was worth $10 million based on potential output per plant.

Shazam! That’s a serious operation. But what about the juice? No, not me, the electricity required to grow all that weed. Isn’t that how they catch these folks?

The suspects also bypassed electrical meters to conceal how much power the homes were concealing and steal electricity.

Clever. So what brought this thing down? A lucky break.

The investigation started accidentally on Feb. 17 when Monroe Township Police Officer Thomas Lucasiewicz smelled marijuana coming from the chimney of a home on Spotswood-Englishtown Road. When he knocked, Thu N. Nguyen opened the door, and Lucasiewicz smelled unusable pot plants being burned in the fireplace, authorities said.

Nguyen was arrested and police found 1,064 pot plants growing in the basement and master bedroom.

That was only the beginning, and the bust led to search warrants for five more rented houses in four other towns: Millstone, Old Bridge, Manalapan and Manahawkin.

Five of the homes were being used to grow marijuana. One of the suspects lived in a sixth home, on Hidden Court in Old Bridge, where police seized $60,000 cash and vacuum bags used to package the pot.

You can read more (a fair amount) here.

Actually, the Royal Mail said the week David Portman took off to mourn his dog’s death was just the last straw. In his 5 years as a mailman, Portman missed 137 days. Claiming that his absences were either work-related or genuine injuries not of his doing, and that he shouldn’t have been fired for mourning the loss of his dog, Portman filed a claim for unfair dismissal. (The injuries/illnesses included a broken foot, sprained ankle, whiplash, and asthma.)

Who do you think won? Wrong! (or “Right!”). Portman won – a sum in excess of £10,000 (over $15,000 US). Said the Sheffield tribunal:

The vast majoirty of the claimant’s absence days were occasioned through injuries sustained in accidents at work’ which should have been discounted by the Royal Mail… None of the claimant’s absences were for other than wholly legitimate and genuine reasons.

Seriously, what do you expect when you burglarize a haunted house? That the spirits are just going to let you waltz out the door with their otherworldly possessions? I don’t think so. As reported by the AP, out of Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia:

A news report says a burglar who broke into a house claims he was held captive by a “supernatural figure” for three days without food and water. Police official Abdul Marlik Hakim Johar told The Star newspaper the house’s owners found the 36-year-old man fatigued and dehydrated when they returned from vacation Thursday. He says they called an ambulance to take him to a hospital. The man told police that every time he tried to escape, a “supernatural figure” shoved him to the ground. Abdul Marlik could not immediately be reached and other police officials declined to comment.

The word “shit” is just that – a word. Certainly some folks prefer not to say it, hear it or see it, but, well, tough … Seriously, this is still America, right? Tell that to Brian Barnett, who was a Green Party candidate in Arkansas. I don’t know anything about his politics, and I will stipulate that his sign was an incredibly stupid way to try to attract voters. (Attention yes, voters no.) But there’s this thing called the First Amendment …

Barnett was ticked off that the Republican (Reeves) and Democrat (Betts) contenders for a state House seat would not debate him. So he was walking around Searcy, Arkansas with a sign that read:

Debate Brian! Chicken shit; 1. Kyle Reeves; 2. Monte Betts.

Free speech, right? Wrong. Per The Daily Citizen:

“You can probably get away with saying he’s chicken, but since he’s an alderman and a member of the city council, you can’t,” [Patrolman] Johnson told Barnett. “That word is not acceptable.”

Dude, I heard Putin is looking for a few good men. What did Barnett have to say for himself?

Barnett explained the sign to Johnson, saying it was designed to call attention to the refusal of Reeves and Betts to debate him.

“When you call someone chicken s*** that means they’re scared,” Barnett said.

So we’re cool, right? Nope.

When Sergeant Tom McGee arrived, the three went next door to a tire shop and Barnett could be heard offering to change the sign. Within minutes, however, Barnett was arrested, charged with disorderly conduct, apparently for refusing to obey an officer.

UFB. And they cuffed him, and put him in the patrol car! But wait! Someone must have pulled out a pocket Constitution!

Within minutes, Barnett was taken out of the car, given a citation and was allowed to go free. The sign was returned to Barnett and he was told he could stand where he chose with the sign. Barnett, confused as to why he was allowed to continue displaying the altered sign, now showing an “X” over the “i,” was told the matter would be explained to him further at his Nov. 20 court date in White County District Court, Searcy Division.

Confused? I’d say perplexed. Those cops really need to get their shit together!

If you are among those who can look at a piece of bologna and still eat it, that may change after you read this. As reported by The Columbus Dispatch:

[Ex-deputy] Joseph M. Cantwell, 38, pleaded guilty to two misdemeanor health-code violations for giving Joseph Copeland a bologna sandwich that had been rubbed against another prisoner’s penis.

What was the evidence that this grade-school prank actually happened?

Cantwell, of Park Point Lane in Lewis Center in Delaware County, and another deputy, Phillip Barnett, photographed the sandwich incident in the Downtown jail. Both were fired by Sheriff Jim Karnes in May.

Photos? Were these guys in a cave when the Abu Ghraib photos were EVERYWHERE? So what was the punishment?

Franklin County Municipal Judge Harland H. Hale fined Cantwell $500 but suspended a 90-day jail sentence, provided that he complete his [5 years of] probation.

What about the sandwich-eater?

Copeland and two other prisoners have sued the county.

Since the Juice has a soft spot for personal injury lawyers, he is really hoping that Mr. Copeland filed this action pro se. You can read more here.

As you’ll soon see, this fella has an appetite for dollar stores, and ice cream sandwiches. As reported by tcpalm.com:

32-year-old Robert Silvia, was arrested Oct. 12 after an assistant manager at a Family Dollar saw a man take “an ice cream sandwich from the front of his pants” and start eating it, a recently released Fort Pierce police report states.

The assistant manager said the man came in the store in the 700 block of South U.S. 1 in Fort Pierce and went to the cooler. The man took something, and left without paying.

If you didn’t get in any trouble as a kid, either you’re very clever, or your childhood was incomplete. But this kid? At only 12, he’s had enough trouble to last him for a long, long time. As reported by www.ksat.com:

In Santa Fe, New Mexico, a 12-year-old boy high on marijuana led police on a chase and eventually rolled his car — and it’s not his first run-in with the law.

He was wearing a monitoring bracelet! Ever heard of a 12-year-old wearing a monitoring bracelet? Here’s how they got the ride:

A representative with the Sheriff’s Office said the boys broke into a home and stole the car’s keys.

Incredibly, after rolling the car, neither the boy nor his 15-year-old buddy were hurt badly. They were, however, arrested when they tried to take off.