…The Juice would put “in front of the police station” near the bottom of the list. Of course, the calculus changes, when, like a 40-year-old Appleton, Wisconsin man, you have consumed so much booze that your blood-alcohol level is 4 times the legal limit. He was busted for … public urination and jailed on a probation violation!
Let’s say you rob somebody, and then you’re foolish enough to call him the following day to taunt him. Would you do it from a phone that could be traced to you? A young man in New York did. And it led to his arrest, along with his 4 alleged accomplices. As reported in New York’s “The Journal News” …
[Lt.] Clark said the incident occurred Tuesday, when the victim, who works at the Scarsdale Public Library, left work about 9 p.m. to catch a bus home. About 20 minutes later, as he waited at the Post and Olmsted roads bus stop, he was attacked by a group of young men who police said beat him until he momentarily blacked out. They fled in a car after taking the man’s briefcase.
Knocking the dude out? That’s cold. Why’d they do it?
“The investigation revealed that this was a completely random attack, and that these young men set out to beat somebody up,” Clark said. “Taking the briefcase was almost incidental. One of the men said that his mother had died recently, and that he was angry and just wanted to beat someone up.”
Really? The Juice didn’t know random asskicking was one of the 5 stages of grief. Just how did the bust go down?
The next day, [the victim] received the taunting phone call, which he immediately reported to police. Within hours, Scarsdale Detectives Russ Morvant and Servando Rodriguez were able to trace the call to a house on North Kensico Avenue in White Plains. They found Marzano, of 100 N. Kensico Ave., there, along with Pacicca, of 1649 Hall Ave., and Brown.
Find anything else?
The detectives also found the stolen briefcase and other items belonging to the victim …
Doh!
Some might say this story is dripping with irony. The Juice respectfully disagrees, believing instead that it is dripping with poetic justice. As reported by The Santa Cruz Sentinel:
A thief stole the bike of a teenage boy as the teen and a friend were being arrested for allegedly trying to pawn a stolen violin Friday morning, Santa Cruz police reported.
Boom! You would think that this kid, especially this kid, would know that, hey, people will steal things, especially unlocked things.
The boys, both 17-year-old Santa Cruz residents, went to a Mission Street music store and tried to sell the violin, which had been reported stolen during a car burglary on the Westside the night before, police said.
A store employee alerted police and an officer came to arrest the teens on suspicion of possessing stolen property. While that was going on, someone stole one of the boys’ bikes, which was outside the music shop, police said.
The boys were booked into Juvenile Hall. Their names were not released because they are minors. The stolen bike wasn’t found, but the violin was returned to its owner.
Here’s the source.
When you get some bad news, how do you react? Probably not like this young man in Fresno did. As reported by The Fresno Bee:
A Fresno Pacific University basketball player went on a naked rampage Monday night near campus after being told that he had been kicked off the team, Fresno police said Tuesday.
Leonard Tyrell Young, 21, ran naked through a convenience store parking lot, tried to steal a police car, beat a police officer and police dog and withstood three Taser strikes before finally being subdued, police said.
He was booked Tuesday into Fresno County Jail on suspicion of carjacking, resisting arrest, vandalism, harming a police dog and being under the influence of a controlled substance, according to jail records.
Yikes.
It’s not hyberbole to say that this is almost certainly the strangest ticket ever issued. The offense? As reported by Al-Anba Daily:
In the first incident of its kind, a traffic policeman [in Kuwait City] issued a citation against an Arab motorist for having bad breath. A police source said it is a very strange incident and problematic too because the penalty is not known. “Will the motorist be fined; if so, how much will he have to pay and if his car is impounded, how long will it be in the police garage?” he asked. Incidentally, it is also mentioned on the citation that the motorist admitted that his mouth smells.
This is just gross – really, really gross. A guy broke into two separate cars and, well, you’ll have to hear it from The Star-Ledger (via nj.com):
Twice in one night, a burglar entered cars in Carteret, ransacked the vehicles and then defecated inside, according to police.
How would you like to be the police officer who catches this case? “Yeah, we’ll need some of that for DNA testing.”
We’ve all seen movies with the cops banging on the door, and someone running to the bathroom to flush drugs down the toilet. But what if you’re in your car? There’s always the option of … eating them. That’s apparently what Art Taylor of Framingham, Massachusetts did. (Yes, that’s his mug shot.) As reported by The MetroWest Daily News:
Members of the street crimes unit patrolling Franklin Street saw a car turn onto Pearl Street without signaling. They stopped the car on nearby Union Avenue, but when they spoke to Taylor, he refused to give them his license or registration, Brandolini said.
“He made a quick movement to the center console, and there was small baggie with a white powder in it,” Brandolini said. “He immediately made a movement to put it in his mouth.”
An officer tried to stop him, but Taylor kept pushing his arm away. The officers dragged Taylor from the car, and he started fighting with them in the middle of the road.
Hmm. Fighting with the police. Not sure this was the right call.
By the time officers handcuffed him, Taylor had swallowed the bag, Brandolini said. Police used a dog to search the car for other drugs, but nothing was found.
Battle won, war lost?
Taylor, of 624 Hollis St., was arrested and charged with assault and battery on a police officer, resisting arrest, disorderly conduct and refusing to give police his license and registration. He was also cited for not using a turn signal.
Here’s the source.
Come crunch time, I guess we all occasionally make the wrong decision. This would appear to be just such an occasion. As reported by The Naples Daily News:
When caught red handed with a pair of stolen $16 earrings, Naples police say a Golden Gate teen turned to drastic measures to get rid of the evidence — he drank them.
How do you drink earrings?
Police say Colburn was caught shoplifting the glamorous $16 jewelry by JCPenney loss prevention officer Leonardo D. Gonzalez just after 1 p.m. on Saturday. Gonzalez watched as Colburn selected a pair of earrings from the jewelry department, took them out of the box and placed them into a bottle of vitamin water, police said.
Colburn then left the store without paying for the earrings, reports said.
Gonzalez confronted Colburn about the earrings, and began escorting him back to the JCPenney loss prevention office. It was then, police said, that Colburn gulped down the rest of the vitamin water, earrings and all.
It’s not looking good for Mr. Colburn, but it’s still word against word, right? Nope.
When police arrived, Colburn was arrested and transported to NCH Downtown Naples Hospital for an X-ray. On the X-ray image, the earrings were observed inside Colburn, police said.
Damn that contraption! To read more (a fair amount), and see the mug shot, click here.
Who knew chickens were so into baseball? Some Texas chickens paid the ultimate price just to try to help their team. As reported by The Houston Chronicle:
Fort Worth area police are investigating whether two prep baseball players sacrificed chickens in a bid to improve their games.
Apparently practicing more didn’t occur to them?
Western Hills High School baseball coach Bobby McIntire says he has not had a chance to talk to the students about why they did it.
McIntire on Wednesday told the Fort Worth Star-Telegram that “baseball is very superstitious” and the idea possibly came from movies.
Any repercussions for the players?
School officials say the boys have been kicked off the team.
Fort Worth Independent School District spokesman Clint Bond says an incident happened during spring break. Bond did not know how many chickens allegedly were killed. He declined to say how the two students were punished.
If you are wondering how Western Hills is doing this season …
[they] beat Southwest High School 11-1. Western Hills is 7-15 overall.
Run chickens, run!
What kind of person would steal a little girl’s Beanie Babies? And use a knife during the heist? Perhaps the kind of 18-year-old who would want 6 Beanie Babies… As reported by The Orlando Sentinel:
Two St. Cloud men accused of taking a little girl’s Beanie Babies and other items during a home invasion are being held without bail today at the Osceola County Jail.
Scott Napolillo and Sean Knapp, both 18, face charges of home-invasion robbery, aggravated assault and false imprisonment.
Napolillo is accused of pulling a knife from his waistband and forcing his way into a St. Cloud house to collect on a debt as Knapp waited outside with a souvenir baseball bat.
Must have been a large debt for all that.
The men rode their bicycles to the house.
Okay, maybe a medium-size debt?
The victim, who was not identified, told police Napolillo threatened to stab him if he didn’t have $130 to pay off his debt, the report stated.
Told there was no money, Napolillo ransacked the home and told the victim if he tried to run a friend known as the “Marlboro Man” was waiting outside.
After packing the robbed items in a black bag, Napolillo left after saying he would come back and kill the victim if police were called, the report stated.
After the men left, a police officer on patrol in the area recognized Napolillo as a suspect in several burglaries and followed the men as they rode their bikes across St. Cloud, an arrest report stated.
The officer stopped them for riding against traffic after they cut off a car on 17th Street.
Napolillo had a dagger stuffed inside his waistband and he showed the officer that the black bag contained nine Nintendo video games, six Beanie Babies, the souvenir baseball bat, a cell phone and 13 AA batteries, the report stated.
$130! STFU! NFW did you do all that for $130. Here’s the source.
Legal Juice