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So the United States already incarcerates a LOT of people. Imagine, if you will, that getting drunk in your own home, and having a party, were against the law. As reported by Al-Watan Arabic Daily (via The Arab Times):

Party holder held: Based on a tip-off, police rushed to an apartment in Hawalli and arrested an individual for consuming alcohol and holding fun party inside his apartment.

A police source said the drunkard had invited several friends to celebrate his birthday and got angry when he saw an invitee kissing and hugging his girlfriend. The drunkard became enraged and started shouting, as he ran after his girlfriend and the guest. Neighbors, who were being disturbed, called police and the drunkard was arrested, high on alcohol.

That’s right, we tried that once…

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After getting sentenced to 10 years for robbery, like Mr. Taylor, I’m sure you wouldn’t be in the best mood either. Still, you better be prepared to pay the price if you lay into the judge, as Mr. Taylor did. Here are excerpts from the decision by the Superior Court of New Jersey, Appellate Division:

Defendant appeals from his conviction for second-degree robbery … his sentence on that charge, and the imposition of two consecutive six-month sentences for contempt …

Did someone say “contempt”?

When the court asked defendant if he understood his appeal rights, defendant responded by stating, “Yeah, I understand that you all railroaded the shit out of me. That’s what I understand.”

Uh-oh.

Although his attorney attempted to calm him down and the court attempted to resume asking him if he understood his right to appeal, defendant persisted in confrontational behavior, stating, “you’re all — so full of shit.” The court warned defendant that he would impose an additional six months for contempt of court. Defendant was defiant, stating, “Add six. What the fuck I care now.”

This reminds The Juice of a truly classic, early Juice post …

The court warned defendant again about imposing six months for contempt. Defendant replied, and repeated, “Fuck contempt of court.” Both his attorney and a court officer attempted to calm defendant down. The court said, “I’m going to give you one opportunity —” but defendant interrupted, “Give me — give me — don’t give me shit, mother fucker. Do what the fuck you’ve been doing to every black mother fucker that come in this courtroom.”

Defendant continued to interrupt the court, repeating, “Fuck you” three times, calling the judge a “crazy ass mother fucker,” telling him, “Eat shit and bark at the moon, sorry son of a bitch.” When the judge said he was going to place on the record his reasons for imposing an additional six month sentence, defendant interrupted again, stating “[i]s that all you’re going to put on it, the six months?” He continued to interrupt and taunt the court, saying, “Keep adding six months then” and “well shut the fuck up and do . . . what you’re going to do.”

Yikes.

The court proceeded to set forth the acts it deemed contumacious as the basis for imposing an additional sentence of six months. Defendant continued to interrupt. The court noted further that this exchange occurred in a courtroom filled with fifty people.

After the court ordered defendant to be remanded, defendant replied, “Fuck you, bitch” and then stated “Suck my ass, you cracker bitch.” The court had him returned to counsel table and imposed an additional six months for contempt, to be served consecutive to the prior sentences. After remanding defendant once again, the court noted that defendant “held up his left hand with the middle finger extended in a gesture[.]”

So how do you think the appellate court ruled? Affirmed. The case is STATE v. TAYLOR, No. A-3326-09T2, Superior Court of New Jersey, Appellate Division. (August 24, 2011). You can read the opinion on Leagle here.

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Yeah, firing a bottle rocket out of your butt is never a good idea. And it’s even worse if it fails to launch! From the recently filed West Virginia case of Helmburg v. The Alpha Tau Omega Fraternity and Travis Hughes:

Defendant Hughes was highly intoxicated … and decided in his drunken stupor that it would be a good idea to shoot a bottle rocket out of his anus on the ATO deck …

Plaintiff and his girlfriend were also present on the ATO deck.

Defendant Hughes placed a bottle rocket in his anus, ignited the fuse, but instead of launching, the bottle rock blew up in Defendant’s rectum, and this startled plaintiff and caused him to jump back, at which time he fell off of the ATO deck, and he became lodged between the deck and an air conditioner unit adjacent to the deck.

So, you might be wondering, what legal duties does the plaintiff allege were breached by ATO?

ATO owed plaintiff a duty … to supervise its guests and its own fraternity members, such as Defendant Hughes, and other under age persons, from consuming alcohol on its premises, which leads to stupid and dangerous activities, such as shooting bottle rockets out of one’s own anus.

What about Mr. Hughes?

Defendant Hughes also owed plaintiff and others on the ATO deck a duty of care not to drink under age, or to file bottle rockets out of his anus.

And here’s a count for both defendants:

Plaintiff asserts that the activity of underage drinking and firing bottle rockets out of one’s own anus constitutes an “ultra-hazardous” activity which exposes both of these defendants to strict liability.

A painful night, all around.

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Do you think this dude still hates LeBron? …

Sure, it was a big blow to Cleveland Cavaliers fans when LeBron announced that he was headed south. But really, how upset can you get? Pretty upset, judging from this dude. From the Strongsville Ohio Police Blotter:

SUSPICIOUS SITUATION, MEADOW LANE: A Strongsville man was advised by police last Thursday evening after he got a little too emotional about LeBron James’ defection to the Miami Heat.

A scared resident called police at 11 p.m. because she heard a man yelling in the woods behind her home. The woman told police the man sounded like he was in distress.

When police arrived, they found the Strongsville man in an agitated state. He was highly intoxicated and he said he was upset about James’ decision to leave the Cleveland Cavaliers. Police advised the man to go home and calm down.

The Juice has an idea of how this gent might channel all that emotion – Heat-hating.

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This is definitely the most bizarre type of “fishing” The Juice has ever read about. As reported in the Strongsville, Ohio police blotter of the Sun Star Courier:

… officers had a chat with a boy because of his unusual fishing methods.

Concerned residents called police because the youngster — who was at Waterford Lake on Prospect Road — was catching fish with a bow and arrow that had a suction cup attached.

Sure, that’s a little odd. But then …

He would take the fish out of the water, beat them to death on a rock and throw them back in the pond.

Hmmm. This might be something his parents should know about, no? Apparently not.

Officers told the young fisherman that only catch-and-release fishing is allowed at the pond. The boy left the area.

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Well, it’s certainly not the first place folks would look for missing property. Nevertheless, by her own admission, Ms. Jones hid the jewelry in her, uh, um … you know. As reported by The Sandusky Register:

Erie County Sheriff’s deputies arrested an Elyria roofer who told them she stole valuable jewelry from a Wakeman home and concealed it inside her body.

Elizabeth N. Jones, 19, is in the Erie County jail on charges that include theft, burglary, tampering with evidence and possession of drugs.

Michele Halliwell, 12000 block Ohio 113 East, told deputies Jones had been part of a crew working on her roof when she went inside to use the restroom and asked to use the bathtub to wash her legs. Shortly afterward, Halliwell noticed her husband’s wedding ring and grandmother’s diamond ring were missing.

Someone had also rifled through her purse and wallet.

… [Jones] also admitted she’d gone inside the Halliwell home looking for something to steal and had concealed the rings inside her vagina. Deputies asked a female nurse at the jail to recover the rings, which together had an estimated value of $5,000.

Yikes. Surely the nurse was thrilled to get that call.

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This is some serious chutzpah. As reported by The Chicago Tribune:

A Chicago police officer fired after a video camera recorded him beating a female bartender [see above] is asking a judge to review his termination.

The grounds? They include:

[improperly] using the infamous videotape in deciding to fire him; and

wrongly viewing as a problem Abbate’s decision to invoke his Fifth Amendment right against self-incrimination at least 75 times during his board hearing.

Likelihood of success?

Abbate’s challenge could be moot, as he was convicted of felony aggravated battery in criminal court last summer. The city bars the hiring of people with felony convictions as police officers.

Um … er … nevermind.

Update: Not only was his termination upheld, but Chicago was hit with an $850,000 verdict in the civil suit. You can read more here.

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Who is the source of these strange driving-related laws? Avis. Here are some of the laws Avis found, which are published in a “Holiday Highway Code.”

In Cyprus, it’s illegal to drink ANYTHING while you are driving, including water.

In Greece, if you park illegally, the police may seize your license plates!

In Romania and Russia, “it’s actually against the law to drive a dirty vehicle.”

In Denmark, “before you turn the ignition, make sure you check for people under the car – a legal requirement alongside checking the brakes, lights, steering and horn before you drive.”

Here’s the source.

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It’s 7/11, so why not a post about … a 7-Eleven.

So you get a bunch of people together for a very specific purpose, and it’s to loot a 7-11? As reported by cbsnews.com:

Police in Maryland are now investigating a so-called “flash mob robbery” of a 7-Eleven in Germantown, a city 20 miles outside of Washington, D.C.

Montgomery County police say it happened around 1:45 a.m. Sunday morning. That’s when more than two dozen teenagers entered the store and stole snacks, drinks and other items. They immediately left the store a minute later without paying.

Police have now identified several of the suspects through surveillance video. However, a police spokeswoman says she doesn’t know how the robbery was organized.

Not cool. Not funny. Here’s the source.

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If this boy can’t get his candy on, well, there’s gonna be trouble. And there was. As reported by the Northwest Florida Daily News:

According to a Niceville (yes, Niceville!) police report, the [13-year-old] boy was told by his mother that he could not have any candy.

Oh shizzle.

The boy told his mother, “(Expletive) you, (expletive)” and refused to go home.

Two of the three quoted words deleted? Not cool, or necessary. Let The Juice attempt to decode it for you. “Fuck you, bitch.” (Deep breath. Another deep breath. There – everyone alright?)

Mom was not hearing any of that. So …

The woman said she attempted to whip the boy with a belt on his rear end, but he turned around and was struck on his arm.

The 13-year-old then turned around and punched his mother.

That oughta get you a battery charge. It did. Any defense there, sonny?

The boy told officers the incident happened because of candy that he wanted to get for someone else and not for himself.

Oh, well in that case …

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