Articles Posted in Best Of

The name police, in addition to residing in Sweden, also reside in Australia. Today’s installment involves a couple who wanted to name their child “Ned Kelly.” If you’re wondering why that name would be a problem, click here for more information on this notorious Australian. Per The Daily Telegraph:

The [New South Wales] Registry [of Births, Deaths and Marriages] can reject a name for a number of reasons under the Registration Act 1995. Reasons include that the name might be obscene or offensive, is too long or includes “symbols without phonetic significance.”

And if the Registry thinks a name is a problem but it doesn’t fit in any of the offending categories, check out this catch-all provision:

The Act also bans … names “contrary to the public interest for some other reason.”

That seems to cover EVERYTHING! Here are a few other names that shared Ned Kelly’s fate:

– Post Master General

– Chief Maximus

– Jesus Christ

– a blank space

– the child’s Medicare number

– the number seven

Check out these names that made the grade:

– God Bless

– Metallica

– Fully Hektik Sik

Here’s the source.

You seriously threatened a judge on the phone, and on Facebook? Brilliant! As reported by Courthouse News Service:

Ezra Osman [age 28] is the ex-husband of Iris Guillen, who works as clerk for 312th Family Court Judge David Farr, according to Harris County court records.

After Osman called the court repeatedly on May 9, Guillen told Judge Farr that Osman was harassing her, records state.

“The judge picked up the extension and told the defendant that if he continued to tie up the phone lines he would be in trouble,” according to the charging document signed by an assistant district attorney. “The defendant then told the (judge), ‘Fuck you, mother fucker. I’m gonna’ come down there and fuck you up.'”

Pure genius, only to be followed by this …

Guillen later showed a Harris County sheriff’s deputy that Osman had made a threatening post on his Facebook page. It said: “Got my ninjas … so heads are going to roll started with that punk ass judge,” according to the assault charge.

Very effective use of social media.

Osman is currently jailed on a $20,000 bond.

Here’s the source, including a link to the charging document.

That Chinese cooking oil you brought is probably fine. It’s probably not the product of a certain illegal operation, as reported by chinadaily.com:

Chinese police have arrested 32 suspects for producing and selling illegal cooking oil in a cross-province crackdown, the Ministry of Public Security said in a statement Tuesday.

Why is it gross? Well …

More than 100 tonnes of such oil, made from leftovers dredged from gutters behind restaurants, were seized after busting a criminal network spanning 14 provinces, the ministry said.

Tasty!

Over the years, The Juice has had many personal injury cases where folks have attempted to avoid service of process. Guess how many of them were eventually served? 99+% of them! Here’s a story of a man who really did not want to be served, as reported by Ocala.com:

The victim [process server] told authorities he went to the Southwest Ocala home early in the day but was told by a woman that her father was not there and that he should come back after 6 p.m.

Not uncommon, but …

The man said he returned to the home and got out of his vehicle and was approached by several dogs, which were aggressive. He said he was afraid of being bitten so he used pepper spray to stop the dogs from attacking him.

Whew. But that was just the first line of defense.

Then, he said, a man standing by the front window watching him came out of the home with a black semi-automatic weapon and fired a shot over his head.

The official said he first hid behind his car, then got in the vehicle and drove away and called law enforcement.

So much for not shooting the messenger.

Deputies arrived and detained David W. Fisher, 57. He told them he deliberately let his dogs outside because they are trained guard dogs and he knew the court official would be back to serve him paperwork. Fisher was charged with aggravated assault and threatening a public official.

You’ll find the source here.

Pranks are funny. But really, the only person who can prank a cop is … another cop. Tell it to these folks in Houston. As reported by khou.com …

Harris County deputies said they were initially called to a home in the 13600 block of Treebank Thursday night after reports of a domestic disturbance.

The deputies said they spoke with a couple who was in the home, resolved the situation and left.

But then, around 7 a.m. Friday, deputies received another call from the home.

When officers responded, they said they found the front door cracked open, so they went inside.

You might not want to …

… as they pushed the door open, a bucket fell on one of the deputies, and the others were splashed with liquid.

Alright, where are ya?!

The deputies called for backup, explaining that a bucket full of an unknown substance had fallen on them, and they were unsure if there were other traps in the home.

Other deputies and a bomb squad swarmed the scene. At one point, deputies drew their guns and surrounded the home. The bomb squad checked the home for other traps, but found none.

Whoa there. So what happened after all that?

In the end, though, deputies determined that the bucket was just full of water. No one was injured.

And the perps?

The occupants of the home were nowhere to be found, and no arrests were made.

Here’s the source.

Could there be a worse use of the one phone call you are allowed from jail? Okay, maybe if you made a bomb threat. But this is right up there. As reported by The Naperville (Illinois) Sun:

Carly A. Houston was taken to the Naperville police station over the weekend, after she allegedly became embroiled in a heated, early morning dispute with a taxicab driver.

A police officer dutifully supplied the 29-year-old Chicago woman with a telephone, instructing her she could make one call to find a relative or friend who could come to the station to post her bail.

Instead, Houston used her call to dial 911, which immediately connected her to Naperville police dispatchers. She pleaded for help, complaining she was “trapped inside the detention facility,” police said Monday.

Snap! Trapped in jail …

[This] earned her another criminal charge … for making a false 911 report.

It was not a good morning for Ms. Houston:

[Her] troubles began about 1:40 a.m. Sunday, when police were called to the BP service station at 901 N. Washington St., police Cmdr. Mike Anders said.

A cab driver there told police he had picked Houston up near the city’s downtown, and that she had instructed him to drive north on Washington Street, Anders said.

When the driver asked for her specific destination, Houston allegedly “yelled, screamed, cursed and extended (both) middle fingers at the cab driver and threatened bodily harm” against him, Anders said. He stopped at the gas station, where employees and patrons were also “alarmed and disturbed” by her reputed behavior, he said.

(source: e-boost consulting)

Not only did this gent have an interesting method of shoplifting shoes, but he took orders by text! As reported by www.fox41.com:

An arrest report for 36-year-old Sean A. Harrington lists him as “not employed,” but some may say that’s debatable after reading the description of his alleged crimes. Police say he was caught stealing merchandise from Rack Room Shoes on S. Hurstbourne Pkwy., near Six Mile Lane, on Friday afternoon. According to the report, Harrington was allegedly, “concealing shoes down the front of his pants” and left the store without paying.

It’s not uncommon for police officers to charge people who flip them off. When those people fight the charges, they win. But what about f-bombing a police officer? Well, that depends, as an Ohio woman recently found out. As reported in The Knoxville News Sentinel:

Dorthea Frazier’s son Cody was arrested by Akron police after a brief car chase. Dorthea Frazier yelled at the arresting officers: “What the f[uck] are you arresting my son for? What are you doing?” She then yelled at a lieutenant: “You f[uck]ing crooked a– cop” and “You’re a b[astard?].” [uncensored by The Juice].

The lieutenant apparently ordered her to desist from further yelling, but Frazier persisted. Officers on the scene testified that her cursing drew a growing crowd and presented a possibly dangerous situation.

Officers charged her with resisting arrest and disorderly conduct. In the course of her arrest, she suffered a broken arm.

Her defense, of course, was the First Amendment. The result?

A jury found her guilty of disorderly conduct. During that trial, she requested a jury instruction on freedom of speech that read in part:

“In the event that you find that the Defendant’s conduct was Constitutionally protected free speech, then you must find the defendant not guilty. A person cannot be convicted of disorderly conduct based on the words the person has spoken because such speech is constitutionally protected unless the defendant’s words rise to the level of fighting words.

“A person cannot be convicted of disorderly conduct by the use of words because the First Amendment protects a significant amount of verbal criticism and challenge directed at police officers.”

The Judge refused the request. Ms Frazier appealed and … lost. You can read a lot more here.

Yes sir. These streakers were in for a real surprise when they ran into a police officer while streaking through a neighborhood in Portsmouth, New Hampshire. And they got what was coming to them, which was … nothing! As it should have been with this truly victimless crime. Per The Union Leader:

In a scene reminiscent of Will Ferrell’s run through the neighborhood au naturel in the movie “Old School,” a Greenland police officer working a construction detail on Bartlett Street early Monday morning got a surprise when a naked woman ran by him.

Portsmouth police responded around 3:30 a.m., and found a man also out and about without any clothes on. The pair said they were playing strip poker with friends and, as part of losing, had to run around the block in the buff.

When police brought the two back to retrieve their clothes, they found two other people in various stages of undress. The streakers got off with a warning.

Sanity!

I guess it depends on what you mean by “helping.” If you mean helping the possible jumper – who had been standing on the bridge for hours – make up his mind, then yes, Lai Jiansheng provided a helping hand to Chen Fuchao. Lai approached Chen and shook his hand, then pushed him off the bridge! Luckily for Chen, as reported by The China Post,

[he] fell 26 feet (8 meters) onto a partially inflated emergency air cushion laid out by authorities and survived, suffering spine and elbow injuries, the official Xinhua News Agency said Saturday.

Really? Only 26 feet? Why was Chen on the bridge?

According to Xinhua, Chen wanted to kill himself because he had accrued 2 million yuan (US$290,000) in debt from a failed construction project.

Okay, but the burning question is, why did Lai push him?

… Lai Jiansheng had been fed up with what he called Chen’s “selfish activity,” Xinhua said. Traffic around the Haizhu bridge in the city of Guangzhou had been backed up for five hours and police had cordoned off the area.

“I pushed him off because jumpers like Chen are very selfish. Their action violates a lot of public interest,” Lai was quoted as saying by Xinhua. “They do not really dare to kill themselves. Instead, they just want to raise the relevant government authorities’ attention to their appeals.”

Photos in the Beijing Morning Post showed Lai, shoeless and in a T-shirt, saluting after Chen fell.

Cold. But, here’s one more thing about Lai: it has been reported that “he had been on medication for “a mental illness” for decades and had been on his way to a hospital for his pills.” So what happened to Lai?

A police officer who answered the telephone Saturday at a station close to the bridge confirmed the incident and said it was under investigation. He refused to give any other details and hung up.

You can read more here.