This isn’t the first time The Juice has blogged about a cancer faker. That lady had nothing on Ms. Lori E. Stilley. As reported by The Gloucester County Times (New Jersey) at nj.com:
Making more than $3,000 from sales of an e-book was far from the only thing a township woman did to rake in tens of thousands of dollars from lying about having cancer, authorities allege.
According to a statement released from the Burlington County Prosecutor’s Office, the scheme began and ended in 2011.
Hell, The Juice himself is not the most patient driver. Suffice it to say that, if his car were miked, there would have to be a serious delay, with someone’s finger always on the button. But this dude in Houston? He either has an incredibly short fuse, was in a really bad mood, or both. As reported by www.khou.com:
Police said [David Charles] Patronella [age 56] was driving behind another man southbound on Highway 6 on September 28. When the two drivers reached a light on Westheimer at Briargreen, Patronella allegedly lowered his window and pointed a gun at the other driver. No words were ever exchanged.
Who needs words when you have a gun?
Without Johnny Law, there would be chaos, right? In this situation, Johnny Law needs to step off. In the Australian city of Whitehorse, little children drawing with chalk in front of a cafe have been deemed to be … taggers! As reported by The Whitehorse Leader:
Children drawing with chalk on a Nunawading footpath have been labeled graffiti artists.
THEY MUST BE STOPPED.
Stealing snack food may be sweeping the nation. The Juice will monitor the situation and keep you posted. The latest installment, which involves undergarments, took place at a gas station in Valparaiso, Indiana. As reported by nwitimes.com:
Faith Green, 39, of Valparaiso faces theft, public intoxication, resisting law enforcement and criminal mischief charges, while Anthony Green, 23, Joliet, Ill., faces resisting law enforcement and drunken driving charges, all stemming from a bizarre Wednesday morning encounter with police.
Around 3:15 a.m. Wednesday, Valparaiso police reportedly found the Greens, both allegedly intoxicated, inside the Pilot Travel Center, 4105 Morthland Drive.
You just can’t go around arresting people for cussing, or you may be ponying up, as this Georgia city discovered. As reported by The Atlanta Journal-Constitution:
Community activist Mary Kirkendoll grew so frustrated with Smyrna’s town hall question-and-answer session, she stood up and began to leave. Before she got to the door, she turned toward the audience and uttered a profanity. “This is [expletive],” she said during the April 21, 2009, meeting. “They are never going to tell the truth.”
Really, AJC? You can’t say “bullshit” when it’s a direct quote that’s at the heart of the story? Anyway …
As a regular bicycle commuter, it pains The Juice to have to say this, but it’s not looking too good for this fellow cyclist. As reported by The Union Leader:
Police [in Somersworth, New Hampshire] arrested a Maine man riding a bicycle Friday in connection with a bank robbery across state lines.
Noooooo!
At a boot sale, which is roughly the equivalent of a swap meet, an elderly couple must have been delighted with the lovely plant they purchased. Certainly it was treated quite well, as evidenced by its incredible growth. So why is this Juiceworthy? As reported by the BBC:
An elderly couple have unwittingly grown the “biggest cannabis plant” police officers had seen after buying what they thought was an innocuous shrub from a car boot sale.
Oops.
You’re really going to make a federal case over a can of beans? Well, yes. Because that was no ordinary can of beans, as reported by The Hartford Courant.
Police on Saturday arrested a Fair Haven man who they say received a kilogram of cocaine through the mail that had been hidden inside cans of beans.
So maybe it was a few cans of beans.
Who knew that your undergarments are infused with your scent? Pretty much everyone, except for this woman, who tried to outsmart a police dog by stripping down to her bra and panties before fleeing. As reported by tcpalm.com:
A 25-year-old woman found in her bra and panties after a traffic crash told an officer she stripped off her clothes to try to “conceal her scent” from a police dog.
But Angela C. Ferranti’s disrobing plan last week apparently didn’t work as Kilo, a police dog, tracked into a wooded area in central Port St. Lucie where she was found, according to a recently released report.
It might be tempting to simply chalk this one up to bad timing, but the dude tried to steal the hottest item in the world on the first day it was available! As reported by WDRB (Louisville, KY)
According to an arrest report, on Thursday afternoon, 21-year-old Raylon J. Brooks an employee of UPS, removed an iPhone — worth $649 — from a shipping pallet and hid it inside his boot, then tried to walk out of the building with it.
But it didn’t quite work out as he planned.
Legal Juice