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police cop hat
“Um, excuse me. Could you please keep it down?” Fuhgeddaboutit. Ain’t nobody quieting this lady down. As reported by The Star-Ledger at nj.com:

A 47-year-old Hackettstown woman went on a rampage and was arrested when police arrived at her house to check into a noise complaint last week, authorities said.

Gail Tortorella was drunk when police showed up to her home on Ashley Avenue at about 6:45 p.m. Thursday, Hackettstown police said in a release. Instead of calming down, police said she became belligerent.

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Remember the story about the Swedish parents who wanted to name their daughter “Metallica?” Or the Swedish transvestite who wanted to change his name to Pia? Add to that list the Swedish couple who wanted to name their daughter “Elvis.” Fuhgeddaboutit, said the National Tax Board. Why? Because …

Elvis “is a first name of a masculine type.”

While the King might be pleased with that determination, no doubt Elvis’s parents are not. They should follow Metallica’s parents lead, who fought the law, and won.

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Regular readers know that The Juice is a personal injury lawyer. During the course of his career, he has had several cases with the same key fact as this one, brought to you via the Hunterdon County Democrat (New Jersey).

A Pittstown man was charged with numerous offenses after a hit-and-run accident reported Dec. 27, at approximately 8:15 a.m. Patrolman Sean Ross was dispatched to Riverbend Road in the area of Moebus Place for a report of property damage. He found damage to a front lawn, a mailbox and bushes.

Unfortunately for the scofflaw, that’s not all the victim found.

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law legal books case cases old
What could possibly have been going through this attorney’s mind in the lead-up to this bizarre, just plain gross in a really weird way, action? As reported by HawaiiNewsNow:

A Kauai attorney was convicted of harassment Thursday after being accused of licking his client’s ear at his office last year.

First reaction: Eww!

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bad house old disrepair
Having rented a house during college, I wouldn’t have rented me a nice house. (The Juice’s house has since been torn down, probably after being condemned.) Still, there are certain minimum requirements that must be met, even for college students. Don’t tell that to this landlord. As reported by the Colorado Springs Police Department:

On 09/05/2013 at 4:00pm the Colorado College SRO [School Resource Officer] was at 724 N. Nevada Ave to conduct a CPTED (Crime Prevention Through Environmental Design) assessment. As the SRO was conducting the assessment, it was discovered that the student renters did not have properly working plumbing.

Uh-oh.

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bomb
You would think the world ended. So some police officers dropped the f-bomb for emphasis. Is this really a big story? Clearly The Juice doesn’t think so. As reported by newschannel9.com (Chattanooga, Tennessee):

It’s a caught-on-tape moment you have to hear to believe. Two Dalton Police Officers hurling the f-bomb and other four-letter words at children on a school bus. Now those cops are in a heap of trouble with not only parents – but the city as well.

Dalton Police Chief Jason Parker says they usually keep things like these under wraps. But this time, he says he felt the community needed to know what happened. Many we spoke with say an officer should never use offensive language to make a point, even if the children themselves are using four-letter words.

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It’s one thing for a teacher to encourage a young student to eat her lunch, but this was clearly over the line. As reported by nationalpost.com (Canada):

A spoiled banana pulled from a school trash can by a teacher and handed back to a student to eat — resulting in the teacher’s suspension, a Children’s Aid investigation and the withdrawal of an Ontario family’s children from the school — marks another skirmish in the lunchroom politics of schools and daycares. The “banana incident” — as even the school is calling it — took place at École élémentaire catholique Sainte-Marie in Simcoe, Ont. An eight-year-old student says she was forced to eat a “rotten” banana the teacher had retrieved from the trash. “It had all black spots on it so I threw it out,” the girl told the Simcoe Reformer newspaper. “My teacher found it in the garbage and gave it to me. I felt like I had to eat it. I felt like I’d be in trouble if I didn’t eat it.” The girl’s mother, Jordan Stewart, said the teacher was acting like a bully and lodged complaints with the school and child protection workers.

Definitely inappropriate. But it’s not like she shoved it down her throat. Unless there is more to the story, perhaps a good talking-to would have sufficed. Here’s the source.

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A mask is certainly a fine way to hide your face. It would seem obvious that it doesn’t cover everything else though. Obviously this guy didn’t think it through that far when he robbed a bank in Merrimack, New Hampshire. As reported by The New Hampshire Union Leader:

The bank robber wore a full-face President Obama mask and carried a Walmart shopping bag when he approached a teller and demanded cash Wednesday morning at the Bank of America branch at 356 Daniel Webster Highway.

Okay. So far, so good.

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You did not but this person for drinking tea suspiciously. You did? Think the court will approve? As reported by The Times of India:

Bewildered by the explanation that a man was arrested because he was drinking tea in a “suspicious manner” at a road side stall near Shivaji University in Kolhapur, the Bombay high court directed the police to back off and set aside the preventive detention proceedings against him.

So what happened?

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jail cell bars
This gent didn’t wait to see if he was convicted and sentenced before breaking out. As reported by The Toronto Star:

Toronto police are searching for a 32-year-old man after he escaped the College Park courthouse before his court appearance Thursday morning.

It is alleged that Steven Gonyea was before the courts at the Ontario Court of Justice, 444 Yonge St., on charges of criminal harassment and break and enter when he escaped custody sometime between 8:45 a.m. and 11 a.m.

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