Let’s just say that, suddenly, I’m much happier with “John.” The name? “Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii.” Really. Per the Taranaki Daily News:
[Family Court Judge Rob Murfitt] was so worried about the effect on the girl [who was the subject of a custody hearing] he ordered her to be temporarily placed under the guardianship of the court so a suitable name could be chosen.
Here are some other names Judge Murfitt cited in his opinion:
Number 16 Bus Shelter
Benson and Hedges (twins)
Violence
Midnight Chardonnay
Fish and Chips (yes, twins)
Yeah Detroit
Spiral Cicada
Kaos
Fat Boy
Cinderella Beauty Blossom
Twisty Poi
Keenan Got Lucky
Sex Fruit
Said the Judge:
While the ideal of seeking a unique name could not be criticised “these parents have failed in exercising the first and important task of parenthood”. He said it was not “a time to be frivolous or to create a hurdle for their child’s future life.”
Why does the New Zealand government have any say in what people name their kids?
Section 18 of the Births, Deaths and Marriages Registration Act 1995 allows the Registrar to refuse registration if:
(a) it might cause offence to a reasonable person; or
(b) it is unreasonably long; or
(c) without justification, it is, includes, or resembles, an official title or rank.