Um, Mr. French man. Why not just start yelling “anyone want my iPhone, wallet and passport?” Because that’s pretty much what you did. As reported at BrooklynPaper.com:
The 19-year-old [French tourist] was supposed to meet a friend between Van Brunt and Richards streets at 12:15 am, but his chum was nowhere to be found when he arrived.
Confused, the victim turned to the thieves, asking them if he was at the right place. They responded by putting him in a headlock and running off with his iPhone, wallet and his French passport.
There must be a word for a foreign “hayseed,” no?