It’s 4:30 a.m. in Lincoln, Nebraska, and this guy needed some cigarettes. He was probably drunk (from drinking Bud Light.) Why would I guess that he was drinking Bud Light? Well sir, as reported by the Lincoln Journal Star: A man who robbed a north Lincoln Kwik Shop on Monday…
Legal Juice
Not Exactly A Stand-Up Audi Dealer
You take your car in to be repaired. Clearly you’re not going to leave anything valuable inside of it. But what about leaving the tires and wheels on it? I am not joking. Apparently, you need to take them with you. As reported in The Charlotte Observer: Mickey Coffino dropped…
What’s Wrong With Strip Poker?
Okay, how do you feel about strip “throw rocks at cars on the highway from an overpass” poker? Yes, that’s what two dipshits in Washington have been charged with. As reported by KOMO News: State troopers have arrested two people suspected of damaging at least 14 vehicles by throwing baseball-sized…
Uh, How Did You Get To Court Today?
I’ll give you a hint. Tony Van, of San Francisco, California, went to court to find out what the jury decided in his auto theft case. Here’s another hint, he didn’t take the streetcar to court. His transportation to court: a stolen Lexus SUV! Here’s how the police discovered this,…
Teacher, Teacher – This Is No Way To Supplement Your Income
Oregon elementary school teacher Elizabeth Lucinda Logan picked the wrong way to supplement her income. She stole a student’s coat and sold it on eBay! As reported in the Hillsboro Argus, Judge Marco Hernandez called her behavior “bizarre.” He said it didn’t make sense that someone of her intelligence would…
Love Bites?
Florida resident Charris Bowers is no Lorena Bobbitt, but that’s probably not much consolation to husband Delou Bowers, who has teeth marks on his … What went down (sorry) depends on who you believe. As reported by The Orlando Sentinel: According to a sheriff’s office report, the Bowerses had been…
Yo. What The Hell Are You Doing On My Sofa?
This is eerily similar to a recent Juice post, though with a much less compelling rationale, and no bags of poop. How would you like to return to your home on a Sunday morning and find some dude passed out on your couch? In his underwear? Having raided your refrigerator?…
I Know It’s The Most Populous Country In The World, But …
Sure, there are more than 1,338,000,000 people in China, but we’re still talking about a boatload of corruption. As reported by crienglish.com: Chinese disciplinary organs have punished 881,000 officials for misconduct from July 2003 to December 2008, the Communist Party of China (CPC) Central Commission for Discipline Inspection (CCDI) said…
Good Dog, Bad Dog
The police dog did a good job subduing the suspect, biting him on the arms and legs. But then he forgot who he was working for. Per The Daily Telegraph: Police and the dog squad were called to a home on The Causeway just before 2.30am after receiving reports of…
Wow. That’s A Cool $20 Coin!
Check out the new $20 coin! What do you mean there is no new $20 coin? But that guy said … Per The Patriot News: State police are looking for a man who passed a fake $20 coin at an ice cream parlor in Williams Township, Dauphin County. Police said…