Here are some interesting excuses offered by speeding drivers, as recalled by a Tennessee judge and some police officers, per The Murfreesboro Post: … When he asked why she sped, the driver replied, “My colon has fallen in my vaginal canal.” Spence wrote her a ticket anyway. He figured she…
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A Principal Who Has Gone Too Far!
Some people, like Principal Ethna Haines, get carried away with their power. Fortunately, the legislative branch is there to keep them in check. The Havant Borough Council has totally BUSTED this crazed megalomaniac for … painting her school to yellow! Before taking this bold stance against colorfulness, people used to…
An Unusal Way To “Violate” A Parking Meter
Not only did Adam Michael Kelly “violate” a parking meter, he also cussed out a police officer! Brilliant! As reported by The Cairns Post: Police were called to a disturbance at the corner of Shields and Abbott streets on August 31 about 8.40pm and found Kelly dry-humping a parking meter…
A Brilliant Disguise For A Robbery
So, it’s 4:30 a.m. in Lincoln, Nebraska, and this guy needed some cigarettes. He was probably drunk (from drinking Bud Light.) Why would I guess that he was drinking Bud Light? Well sir, as reported by the Lincoln Journal Star: A man who robbed a north Lincoln Kwik Shop on…
An Unusual Source Of Funds For Heroin Start-Up
I would say “only in America,” but this happened in Scotland, pursuant to European human rights laws. Seems that in some Scottish prisons, for a number of years, the prisoners had to “slop out” (clean out) their own toilets. And? Per the Daily Record: The slopping-out bonanza began in 2004…
Man Climbs On Roof Of Moving Vehicle?
Sure, maybe that sounds just a little insane. But consider this – he was driving! As reported in the Reading Eagle, Messerly was driving his employer’s minivan on the bypass in West Reading about 3 p.m. April 4 when he climbed out of the driver-side window, stood on the roof…
Another Day, Another Jury Duty Slacker … And His Dog’s Testicles
No doubt regular readers know that The Juice is not fond of folks who try to weasel out of jury duty. But this is one of the more idiotic methods I’ve seen employed (but did it work?). As reported by the Bozeman Daily Chronicle: Erik Slye, a Belgrade auto painter…
Really? You’re Busting Me For The Sign On My Truck?
Yes, really. So here’s what Joseph Decker, of Hughestown, Pennsylvania, had on the back window of his truck: IF YOU’RE IN AMERICA & CAN’T SPEAK ENGLISH GET THE FUCK OUT! I think that’s idiotic, and I don’t think Joe (Decker, not “the Plumber”) would have a problem with my opinion.…
Possibly The Most Idiotic Prescription Drug Warning Ever
People always ask how I find the stories for Legal Juice. I found this one on the back page of the “A” section of yesterday’s Washington Post. I was skimming a full-page ad for a new allergy drug called “Xyzal.” Ignore, if you can, the idiotic name “Xyzal.” In the…
Me? No, The Ref Made Do It.
So said 27-year-old professional soccer player Bob Malcolm after being arrested for driving while intoxicated. Here’s a man who truly believes in accepting responsibility for his actions: I recognise that footballers are role models and that, as such, they should set a positive example. On this occasion, I have failed…