The Juice seriously doubts that Mr. James Lewis will ever complain about his wife’s cooking again. Why no more complaints? In 2 words: fifty stitches. As reported by wral.com: Deputies responded to an assault call Friday morning on the 5000 block of Justice Branch Road and found paramedics treating James…
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Please Tell Me You Didn’t Steal All Those Shoes From Dead People.
If you can, put aside for a moment how creepy this is. Think of the logistics involved! Here’s the report: A South Korean who stole 1200 pairs of expensive shoes from funeral homes while posing as a mourner has been arrested, police in Seoul said. How did he do it?…
Parent Makes Threatening Phone Calls To Teacher – Pretending To Be Another Parent
So the parent of a 5-year-old kid had an argument with another parent – on the playground, of course. As a result, Mr. Joseph Moldrich, one of the parents, hatched a scheme to get the kid of the other parent kicked out of school. He would make threatening phone calls…
Should You Call The Cops When You Get Punched In The Face? Not Always.
You get popped in the face. Why wouldn’t you call the cops? Well, it depends on who’s doing the popping, and who gets popped. Per the San Diego Union Tribune: A man who was busy robbing his elderly victim Saturday became so upset when a bystander tried to break up…
Police Limit Alcohol Consumption At Auto Race
Outrageous, right? But true. As reported by UPI: Police in Australia have set what they describe as “very generous limits” for an upcoming auto race [The Bathurst 1000] The limit? … no more than a case of beer a day for adults. Holy shiznit. You know Aussie’s like their beer…
Warning: Don’t Read This Close To Meal Time
If Pennsylvania residents Kimberly Holzlein and Jill Hillard ever offer you ANY food or drink, don’t take it! Why not? Per The Citizens Voice: The two were charged with neglect of a care-dependent person while they were employees of ARC of Wyoming County. The charges stem from accusations that Holzlein…
You Could Do Better For A Landlord
Let’s just say that you wouldn’t want to live in an apartment owned by Vincent Tan of Edmonton, Alberta. Here’s what he was up to: A tenant came home and found Mr. Tan with his pants off and an erection visible through his underwear. Zoinks! Enter the police, who then…
Can You Really Get Three Months In Jail For Five Firecrackers?
You can put your eyeballs back in their sockets. You read it right: 3 months in the slammer (and a fine of about $600!) for possessing 5 firecrackers. From the New Straits Times (Malaysia): A jobless man was sentenced to three months’ jail and fined RM2,000 by the magistrate’s court…
You’re Busting Me For Starting A Pillow Fight?
Hey man, The Juice just finds the news. He doesn’t make this stuff up. (I know him, and seriously doubt his imagination would be up to the task.) Darin Cassler of Burlington, Vermont was arrested for starting a pillow fight, albeit a large one. As reported by The Burlington Free…
Some Very Serious Pain
Sure, getting kicked there hurts. How about getting shot there? A Vallejo teenager allegedly shot himself in the testicles Thursday afternoon, police said. Police said the 17-year-old, whose name is being withheld because he’s a minor, walked into Kaiser Permanente Vallejo Medical Center at about 5:45 p.m. with a gunshot…